The next morning, I wake up in my own bed. I remember parts of last night. I must've drifted in and out of consciousness. I remember that guy giving me a drink. I remember Emma leaving me. I remember starting to feel dizzy and weak. I remember him dragging me downstairs. That's it. I'm not sure how I got home either.
I check my phone and I see the time—11:30am. I also see a text from Luke last night asking where I am. I feel guilty. I feel dirty and icky. My breath smells like rot.
I get up with my pounding headache. I notice I'm in pajamas. I walk down the stairs. When I walk in the kitchen, I jump to see Luke sitting at the table. Across from him is a plate of food and a glass of water. I sit down at that spot.
"Thank you." I say quietly before eating.
I glance at Luke and I see him staring at me, and he's clearly flowing with thoughts. He's trying to formulate what to say.
I clear my throat. "Um, what happened?"
Luke folds his hands. "Well, I got this text from you...or from your number. This guy said he was at a party and he had you with him. Said you couldn't stop crying because I wasn't there and he didn't feel right leaving you alone. So I came and I picked you up."
"Oh." Is all I can say.
Luke resorts back to his mind. I'm not too sure what that means, but it scares me a bit. He reminds me of a disappointed father.
I finish eating and i clear my spot. I take some ibuprofen with my water. Then I go over behind Luke and I put my arms around my neck, my cheek next to his.
"I'm sorry." I mumble.
He grabs on to my arms. "I just don't want to lose you."
I kiss his cheek. "You won't."
We walk up stairs back to my room. Luke plops himself down on my bed. I can tell he's tired himself. I grab his hand and i smile looking down at him. I love having him here.
I know what's coming next. I know what I need to do and what I'm about to say, and I know the reaction it will spark.
"I have to shower." I blush.
Luke's smile fades. "Oh, okay. Go...shower..."
I take a deep breath. "Do you want to...nevermind."
My mind keeps going back and forth. I need to get over it, and it's a coupley thing for us to do. Every couple does it. But I know what it can open up to, and I don't want that yet.
"Do you want me to?" He asks with a dead serious look.
"Kind of. Not really. I mean, yeah sure."
Before I change my mind, I walk towards the bathroom. When I reach the door, I turn around and i see Luke hasn't moved one bit, though he's watching me.
"I'll wait til you seem more comfortable." He insists. "I'll be here when you come out."
So I go shower and I feel partially disappointed. Not partially, but very. I couldn't be more disappointed in myself. I need to get over my fear. I invision in the empty space Luke soaking wet. I picture the steam curling some of his hair, while the water flattens other aspects. I put my back against the wall and i invision Luke pinning me there.
After the shower, I put on my robe and I put my hair in a clip. I walk into my bedroom and see Luke peeking over at me. I crawl into bed, pushing my back against him. Luke rolls on his side, grabbing around my waist.
I look down at his hands, thinking about what Emma said:
When you find out what those hands can do, you'll never look at them the same anymore.
I grab his hand and I start to play with his long fingers, just looking at them. I think back to when I looked down there and saw his finger sliding in and out of me. Just the thought sends a shiver throughout my whole body.
"What are you thinking about?" Luke whispers in my ear.
"I wish I wasn't so scared." I explain.
Luke slightly sits up and looks at my bedposts, then lays down again. "I know a way to fix that."
"How ?" I ask while blushing.
He grabs my waist tighter for a hug. "Not a how but when. New Years Eve?"
YOU ARE READING
Psycho | Beatrice
Fanfiction"Luke," I cry. He interrupts me. "I need you to trust me. Please. I love you and I would never hurt you. We're going to get out of here."
