Missing Heart

Chapter 1: Kelly

Dear diary,

This is my first day using this diary, I've never used a diary before, but then again, it's not like there is a correct way to use a diary, as long as you write about yourself and how you truly feel, and of course keep it secret. I don't really care if anyone reads this though, it's not like I have any deep dark secrets or anything. But anyway, I'd like to talk about my average life! It's fun talking about yourself for some reason.

My name is Kelly, I am 11 years old. I have bright red hair and blue eyes, and I have some freckles on my cheeks. I usually describe people with simple things like that. Their hair colour, eye colour maybe 1 other feature if there is anything else interesting about their appearance, and sometimes personality. I like to describe myself as mature and sassy! I go to Innaturallis school, where the teachers suck, and the students suck and the food sucks and just about everything about that fucking school sucks! Ha! I said a swear word! Even just writing it down makes me shiver, but in a good way! I think it's called adrenaline, if I'm spelling that correctly. I don't know why but I'm pretty bad at words. I'm good at maths and science (especially chemistry). It's just remembering the spelling and meaning of words that I struggle with. Probably because my English teacher (Mr Meiwaku) is the worst teacher ever. The way he explains things is so confusing, and makes more questions than he answers, and if you raise your hand he never answers, so I can't get any questions answered! He also hesitates and stutters, with every sentence, can barely read aloud (how the hell is this guy a teacher?) and is super strict and 'Zero tolerance' with everything and he is just a piece of shit! My sister Julie gets mad at me whenever I swear, even though she does all the time! Julie has long, dark, black hair, dark brown eyes, she has a texan accent, like our dad did, and she sucks! She's stupid, and a stereotypical 'mean girl' who doesn't give a crap about anyone but her girlfriends and her stupid-dumb-ugly boyfriend Martin! Martin is stupider than her (and Julie is stupider than a bowl of hair) and he doesn't know how to shut up! He's been over a few times and he is sooooo annoying! He is just stupid-dumb-ugly and I have absolutely no clue what she sees in him! He is super late (I think a better word for that is tardy, but I'm not sure if that's the correct word) all the time! The opposite of punctual, and he is rude to restaurant workers, in his words "They would have a better job if they were smart, so it's OK to be mean to them, they're too stupid to understand''. Asshole! And he's awful at chemistry and every other subject and he has a stupid-dumb-ugly face and his hair is a dirty muddy colour and the only cool thing about him is that he has a deep voice. That's it! Who could ever like someone like that just because of their voice!? I know that a person's flaws or whatever make them beautiful and no-one is perfect and yada-yada-yada, but it's just rude! It's not good even if he can't help it or there's a reason or whatever, there is a difference between having a flaw and just being rude in my opinion!And something else that annoys me about Julie (changing the subject) is that she always relies on me as an alarm clock! Sometimes I wake her up late just to annoy her, and then of course convince her that I did wake her up early, but she fell asleep again. She's so stupidly gullible haha! I love it when her face turns red from anger! I hope I don't look that stupid when I'm angry! I love being cheeky and petty like that!

I also have a brother called Nick, he's also stupid, but in a different way. Julie is annoying stupid and Nick is unaware stupid. He's more in the clouds than most. Like Julie, he has black hair, but like me, he has blue eyes. Nick is 18 (Julie is 16) and he recently started doing mathematics in university. I have no goddamn clue how he got accepted with how much he spaces out and how automatic his mind is, but he did and I am very proud of him! He said he'll choose what career he wants to take after he finishes university. I assume he just chose mathematics because it gives you options? I'm not sure, I don't understand jobs and money and other adult stuff like that. I plan to become a nurse, and I've never asked Julie, but I reckon she'll get hired as either a clown or get paid to be a disappointment. Nick also has asthma, but I doubt that's worth mentioning, he doesn't have attacks very often though, it's not as serious as some others.

I'm a little worried about Nick, ever since the incident with dad he seemed very depressed. He doesn't talk much anymore. Is he sad? I don't want him to be sad.

I have a mother and her name is Julia, I reckon that's why she is called Julie, Julie. I wonder what the inspiration for my name and Nick's name was (if I remember correctly, she once had a friend called Kelly, and my uncle is called Nick... but I don't like talking or writing about my uncle...). Mother has Black hair and blue eyes, like Nick, and she seems kind of depressed to me. After dad passed away, she hasn't been doing great. Is that what love does to you? If so, then I hope I never fall in love. She has completely lost all of her motivation and ambition after dad died... She works really hard to feed us, and I'm super grateful, but it's taking a huge toll on her. I feel bad for her... If only I knew how to cheer her up... if I could, I would...

I don't really want to talk or write about dad much, the events make me sad and they infuriate me. It's all my uncle's fault! Well, not his fault, but he could've at least been grateful... if he was, I wouldn't hate him. I refuse to speak to him under any circumstances, even if we were the last people on earth I'd rather go insane from loneliness and boredom before I talk to him! To be honest, I think talking to him would drive me insane faster!

Goodnight.