Troubled love

25

Danny

I stare at the metal wall of the shed completely ignoring the sounds of Noah clanging around as he tries to fix his car.

I want to see Christian. I want him to hold me and whisper in my ear as we lay in bed. I want him to see me the same way I see him. I want him to be interested in more then just the experience I can give him.

But I know he doesn't. He's just experimenting. He doesn't know who he is, or what he wants. The last thing he'd want is to get caught up with me and my problems.

I sigh and look back at Noah who is completely engrossed with his car. I on the other hand cant fucking concentrate. I'm either thinking about christian or Samual.

Both end up in me thinking about the fact that I don't have anyone, not even my own fucking family. That's how unlovable I am. My own family want nothing to do with me.

"You going to come to school on Monday? It's been like a month or more." Noah asks snapping me from my thoughts.

"I don't know. I would rather be making money then sitting around at school." I shrug.

"I get that but I still think it's worth coming. You have plenty of time to work on the cars I mean you're having to look for new customers just to keep your schedule full." He reminds me.

"I know." I sigh. "Fine. I'll be there Monday but no promises for the other days."

"Ok deal." Noah grins before grabbing his phone and texting someone. I assume either Chloe or Cody. And seeing as what we just talking about my moneys on the latter.

I pull out my own phone and see a text from Christian.

Christian:
You busy tonight?

Me:
Not at this point

Christian:
Mind if I come over

Me:
Not at all does around 8 work?

Christian:
Sounds good I'll see you then

I turn my phone off and sigh. I don't know why I keep doing this. The more I see him the more I'll want him. It would be better if I just cut him off and forgot about things.

I don't know why I thought getting involved with him was a good idea. I've liked him for pretty much a year. It was not a good choice to start something with him when I want more then I can have.

At this point I'm leading myself on. It's stupid. I know that his feeling towards me are strictly attraction but here I am allowing myself to hope that something will change.

"Are you right Danny?" Noah asks waking up to me.

"Yeah." I mumble as I stand up. I release a long sigh as I stretch. "You want something for dinner?"

"No I better head off. We're going to my uncles place for dinner." He sighs.

"Alright well I'll catch you later."

"Yep."

He backs his car out of the shed and leaves. I remain in the same spot for a bit longer before getting off my ass and cooking dinner.

I keep reminding myself that christian doesn't like me yet Dylan reckoned he does. And he made some good points. Maybe I should just talk to him and it he doesn't have feelings for me then things can go back to normal.

I eat dinner and just sit there scrolling through tiktok. I hear someone pull up and look out to see the beautiful black thunderbird. An equally, if not more, beautiful man steps out of it and enters the shed.

He reaches me and kisses me. He cups my cheeks and tilts my head up slightly. The feeling of his skin on mine sends sparks of joy through me.

He drags my onto my feet before lifting me up. I wrap my legs around his waist and take his head in my hands. Without breaking the kiss he moves to the bench and sits me on it.

The kiss turned heated and needy. Christian stands between my legs and grabs my back tightly. I eventually have to pull away to breath. As soon as I do he attaches his lips to my neck.

"You're so fucking pretty." He mumbles in my ear before sucking on my jaw just below it. I feel my face heat up at his words.

His hands slide under my shirt and travel my back. Goosebumps cover me at the feeling of his skin on mine.

He pulls away from my jaw after no doubt leaving a hickey and kisses me again. This time the kiss is messier. His lips thrashing on mine as he starts undoing my belt.

He pulls away from me before ripping my shirt over my head. I am quick to repeat with his shirt. He yanks my belt out of the loops and discards it to the side. It only takes a matter of minutes for the rest of your clothes to join it on the floor.

~~~

It feels nice to lie with Christian. His arm wrapped around my waist and his face pressed into my neck. Maybe Dylan was right. Maybe Christian does feel something for me.

I close my eyes and hold back a sigh. I don't want to ruin things on the chance that he doesn't like me. I enjoy being with him.

I don't want all that to go away because I blindly trusted Dylan. He has no real reason to why christian liked me. I shouldn't throw all of this away on a what if.

Christians thumb rubbing circles on my hip isn't helping with the situation. Normally he would just leave. I don't know what changed today but he decided to stay a bit longer. Not that I'm complaining. I love it. I would happily wake up like this every day.

But the only way that would happen is if I told Christian how I feel and he also felt something for me. I suppress a groan. I want to be with Christian but I don't think he feels the same way.

He doesn't know his sexuality. He's still coming to terms with everything, asking him out would probably just make everything harder for him.

There are too many ifs in the situation. The chance that he doesn't like me out ways the possibility he does. But now I'm just being a pussy.

"Christian?" I ask quietly.

"Mhm?" He replies signalling that he's listening.

"Would you wanna go out some time? Like on a date?" I ask. I instantly regret opening my mouth as his hand stops moving and he tenses up.