Troubled love

39

Danny

"Danny? Hey look at me." A deep voice beside me whispers. I groan and shake him off me. "Baby, open your eyes."

"Go away." I grumble yet I still open my eyes. A man is hovering over me.

"Fuck Danny." He mumbles as he takes my face in his hands.

His hands are warm and they gently caress my cheeks. I lean into the palm of his hand and stare into his beautiful brown eyes.

"You're so pretty." I giggle as I raise my hand and caress his cheek.

"Danny, how many pain killers did you take?" He asks.

"Uhhh a few maybe." I giggle tucking some hair behind his ear.

"A few? You were meant to take two. Did you take more than two?" I bite my lip and slowly nod. "How many more?"

"Uh dribble. No uh donut, no the one that's twice. Oh double!" I laugh.

"So you took four?" He checks and I nod. "No wonder your eyes are so red. You're fucking high."

"No... I'm just really happy." I giggle.

"Danny you shouldn't be taking more than you're meant to. You could get addicted." The guys sighs sitting beside me on the bed.

"So? At least I'm happy right? Isn't that better than being sad?" I pout as he runs his fingers through my hair.

"Yes it is but I wish you were happy naturally. Not because of drugs."

"I can't be naturally happy. Life sucks." I sigh wistfully but it causes him to frown.

"Why does it suck?" He asks as I close my eyes again and focus on him massaging my scalp.

"Because it all sucks. Except my boyfriend." I mumble before gasping. "My boyfriend. You can't be here. I have a boyfriend."

"Danny I-"

"No. I love him. I don't want to cheat on him." I cut him off as tears roll out of my eyes.

"You love me?"

"No! I love my boyfriend!" I yell at him.

"I am your boyfriend." He argues but I shake my head.

"No. He's prettier than you. And I don't want anyone but him. I love him."

"Danny listen to me. I am Christian, your boyfriend." He laughs.

"Really? But you're so pretty."

"Yes really." He nods.

"No. You stole his skin." I reply grabbing at his face and trying to pull it off.

"Baby it's me." He whispers taking my hands and holding them in his. My eyes widen and I stare into his brown eyes, almost fooled by him.

"Tell me something only you would know." I demand.

"Uh your little sister Lucile quizzed me when I became your boyfriend but she never got back to me on those questions." He explains which I slowly nod to.

"What else?"

"In the wallet I gave you there's a picture of us that dylan took. We're smiling, it was taken just after we kissed."

"Ok. I believe you. You're my Christian." I smile happily.

"That's right. I'm your Christian." He whispers with a massive smile of his own. I move over and let him lay beside me.

"You know that day I went to dylan's I was going to kill myself." I randomly say still smiling.

"What?" He whispers with wide eyes.

"Yeah. I was just driving when I saw the bush. All I thought is that it would be so much more peaceful and I would no longer be a burden. I sped up and told myself to close my eyes. If I did it would all be over. But I couldn't do it. I'm glad I didn't." I giggle.

"You wanted to kill yourself?" He asks slowly stroking my side.

"Mhm. But I didn't want Sammy to be right."

"Why would he be right?" He asks as he pulls me closer to him. I giggle and tightly hug him.

"He said that I would be doing the world a favour by killing myself." I yawn. "Are you done with the questions? I'm really tired."

"Of course baby. We'll talk in the morning." He replies kissing my head. I nod and sink into his grip as I close my eyes.

~~~

I groan as the light meets my eyes. I raise my arm to cover my eyes and turn over. My head is pounding and I feel like absolute shit. Plus I'm nauseous.

"Danny? Hey are you awake?" Christian asks. I nod and turn to look at him. He looks absolutely wrecked, like he didn't sleep last night. His eyes are red and swollen, as if he's been crying.

"Are you ok?" I ask as I sit against the bed head.

"Do you remember last night?" He asks sitting beside me in the bed.

"Uh I remember the party and then we came in here. You gave me a ring I banged my foot so I had pain killers then passed out." I reply in confusion. "Why?"

"You don't remember anything after that?" He double checks.

"No. What happened? You're scaring me. Is everything ok?" I ask taking his hand.

"You took extra medication. During the night you were sweating and groaning so I woke you up. You were high. We started talking and you told me that you were going to kill yourself when you went to Dylan's." He tells me.

"What?" I ask quietly, terrified of what I admitted to him.

"Is it true? Were you going to?" He asks before I can even really process what he just told me.

"Uh, yeah I was. I mean I thought about it. But I stopped myself."

"Because you wanted to prove samual wrong." He adds and I just stare at my lap in shock. How much did I tell him? I remember none of it. I can't believe i actually told him that shit. "That's why isn't it?"

"I-" My heart is racing and my brain has gone haywire. I don't know if I could put a sentence together if I wanted to so I just nod.

"Fuck. You need to talk to someone Danny." He pleads kissing the back of my hands. "You need to see someone about this. They could help you."

"No they'll lock me up." I reply weakly.

"Danny please." He begs. "Just talk to your mum about it at least. It's not- They won't lock you up unless they think that you're a danger to yourself. Just please talk to your mum."

"I'm sorry." I whisper as tears spill from my eyes. Christian instantly hugs me.

"It's ok Danny. It will be ok. We're going to work it out ok? It will all work out." He whisper before placing a gentle kiss on my temple.