TO LOVE A BROKEN MAN

3

                                 

    

“Hold the lift!”
     
Nope. She wasn’t sharing a lift with a man after that shit show with Lunga. Men were deplorable and nothing would change her mind not even the second coming of Jesus. That bastard didn’t even offer her a jacket when she left, she was angry but more at herself for not telling him off like she intended. Now, she was replaying a whole conversation that never happened in her head.
     
“Vimba!”  
     
She ignored him and pretended to be on the phone but he jammed his crutch between the doors and joined her. It was the guy she passed having a smoke with two other boys and taking a closer look at him, he was dishevelled but clearly wasn’t a hobo so she couldn’t think of a reason why he’d be walking around with no shoes on.     
     
His greeting was met with silence and he didn’t push cause it was obvious she’d been crying and he had no desire to get involved because his own problems kept him up at night.
     
Once the doors closed, his sombre energy dominated the confined space and it was hard to ignore it like she did his imposing height. As the seconds ticked by it didn’t take long to get sucked into his void of despair.
     
Lefa and his bad timing now the hobo-looking guy knew she was pretending to be on the phone this whole time.
     
“Hello?” she answered.
     
“Why are you whispering? Are you in trouble? You were supposed to call me last night and you didn’t.”
     
She shouldn’t have left with that pig in the first place but beating herself up about it wasn’t going to make her feel any better.
     
“No, I’m fine but now is not a good time to talk.”
     
“Masika!” He gasped. “I hope you gave the poor boy a break.”
     
He was loud and unwittingly made the stranger standing in front of her privy to their conversation, making it obvious what she was up to the previous night. She should’ve broken his legs had she been brave enough. 
     
“I really don’t want to talk about that.”
    
“Okay, fine, but I won’t let you off the hook when you get home. Must I get those vegan muffins you like so much?”
     
If anything would make Masika happy it was sure to be tasteless food.
     
“Yeah, I’d like that.”
     
He sighed and she could hear Joi whimpering, probably jealous that Lefa was on the phone and not bombarding him with attention. “Are you sure you’re okay because it doesn’t sound like it?”
     
“Yeah, I’ll see you soon.”
     
“Okay, be safe.”
     
They reached the ground floor and Masika’s day didn’t get any better as her phone died before she could open the Uber app, leaving her stranded because she never made it a habit to carry cash. She didn’t know where the nearest ATM was or where to catch a taxi to Midrand, something she wasn’t proud to admit at her big age.
     
She was surprised to see the chain-smoking-hobo standing next to a BMW but chose not to get her hopes up in case it wasn’t his because there was a car seat in the back.
     
“Hi,” she said, walking up to him.
     
Lwazi looked behind him and back at her again. He was just being extra because no-one was behind him “Are you talking to me or your imaginary friend over the phone?”
     
“Okay, I deserve that.” She forced a tight lipped smile. “I didn’t mean to ignore you earlier, I got into it with some idiot and I was still quite upset. How about a do over?”
     
She made a bad first impression but it was important to show him that she wasn’t a bad person, it shouldn’t even matter what he thought of her because their paths were sure never to cross again.
     
“You can start by telling me what it is that you want from me?”
     
“Uhm.” She waved the smoke away from her face, didn’t he know that was rude? “Can I borrow your phone my battery died before I got a chance to order a ride?”
     
“I don’t have those apps on my phone.” His tone was dismissive like she was a pest he couldn’t wait to get rid of.
     
There was nothing left to do but cry because being stranded here wasn’t ideal and she wouldn’t be the first woman to use her tears to get what she wanted.
     
He tossed the cigarette away and unlocked his car, so much for not getting involved in her business. “Get in, I’ll take you home.”
     
When Lwazi saw her walking past after leaving that apartment in tears he thought she was a call girl, but now he knew that not to be true because she would’ve known to get the money first before performing any services, so she wouldn’t be begging strangers for help.
     
“Really?” Her tears came to an immediate halt.
     
Though Masika was relieved, she wasn’t so sure about him driving because he used a crutch, surely that couldn’t be safe and not forgetting that he was a stranger. 
     
“Or I can drop you off at the taxi rank, it’s up to you.”
     
He wasn’t a friendly gent and that much was obvious, so it was no use trying to impress him.
     
“No, home is fine but I need to see your ID first.”
     
“Why?” He frowned, staring her down and got himself distracted with her Cupid’s bow shaped-lips and the glittering septum piercing dangling from her nose. It was something he wouldn’t normally find appealing but it was flattering on her, dropping his gaze to her erect nipples wasn’t a safe option because she wasn’t wearing a bra.
     
“I need to know who I’m getting in the car with.”
     
“Not all men are trash, you know?” He said, scratching his bread and she wished he did a better job at keeping it neat and trimmed.
     
She wasn’t willing to take that chance, dealing with one foul man was enough for one day.
     
“I’ll believe that once I see your ID.”
     
He fished out his wallet and gave her his driver’s licence. It wasn’t the best picture but he had the same hooded eyes as the man standing in front of her, and he was better looking without the beard and over-grown hair.
     
“Lwazi Gregory Buthelezi.” The name was familiar because his father was currently under investigation for egregious misuse of state funds.
     
“Are you happy now?” he asked, taking back his driver’s licence.
     
“A little bit.” She got in, sitting comfortably on the leather seat and opened the window to fend off the unpleasant smell trapped inside. “Aren’t you going to ask for my name that would be the polite thing to do?” She sounded offended.
     
He didn’t care to know cause he had no intentions of seeing her again. What just happened with Amanda was another reminder that people will always leave whether through death or by choice and he didn’t want to get burned again.
     
“You can tell me if you want.”
     
“I’m Masika Van Zyl and it’s a pleasure to meet you.”
     
Something close to mirth danced in his eyes, he would laugh if he could but there was nothing to laugh about because he was sinking in despair.
     
“That’s your real name? I feel like you’re the one who should be showing me your ID.”
     
“I was adopted and my parents initially named me Marissa but I legally changed it when I turned 21.”
     
Ruth and Dawid were amazing parents, it was unfortunate they never had children of their own but they didn’t raise Masika to see herself as a black woman and never encouraged her to embrace such a big part of her life. When she was old enough to understand race she struggled immensely with an identity crisis because people were quick to point out she wasn’t white.
     
Masika knew nothing about her birth parents but was told that her incubator left her in a dustbin 8 days after she was born, and it was a miracle she was found alive.
     
“So, I recognized your name and I want to say I’m sorry about your wife.”
     
His callous chuckle was a detached sound loaded with sorrow. “Don’t do that. I don’t want to hear one more person tell me it was her time. No, fuck that.”
     
“I lost my mother a year ago so I know how it feels to lose someone.”
     
“What are you doing?” He cast a brief glance in her direction. “If you can’t shut up I will drop you off.”
     
Enough is enough!
     
First it was Theo, then Lunga and now she was being disrespected by a man who was driving around barefoot. She wasn’t a doormat for these men to trample over.
     
“Stop the car.” Her shaky plea didn’t break her resolve.
     
“We’re in the middle of the road.”
     
“I don’t care! I need you to stop the car right now because I don’t know who the hell you think you’re talking to.” She pulled the door handle but the door was locked.
     
He kept driving despite her protests and stopped at a garage to buy cigarettes while she went to an ATM. Her plan was to withdraw enough money to bribe a taxi driver to take her to Midrand, if that failed she’d have to walk because she wasn’t getting back in Lwazi’s car.
     
The heavens were surely smiling down on her and she almost jumped with joy when she saw Samora pull up in his vintage Mercedes.
     
“Masika.” He was equally surprised to see her. “What are you doing here?”
     
“Let’s talk about that later because I really need to get away from here.” She got in the backseat and laid down, hiding from Lwazi as he stood at the entrance searching for her.
     
Samora wasn’t riding alone his boyfriend Demetrius occupied the front seat and was watching Lwazi with keen interest.
     
“Do you know that barefoot guy standing by the entrance cause I think he’s looking for you?”
     
“No, I don’t.”
     
“I don’t believe you. Did you spend the night with him cause if so your taste in men has significantly dropped, but you still have time to find your feet as a newly single woman.”
     
What was taking Samora so long?! This was a convenience store and not Mall of Africa.
                                                                   *********

     

Lwazi spent an extra 30 minutes at the garage waiting for Masika to come back but she never did and now he was worried because something could’ve happened to her. He would’ve waited for an hour but he had to get home to Khanya and assist MaNkosi because he expected to find Nolitha gone. Khanya was a good baby and she rarely cried but her tantrums were epic and she was well on her way of being a diva like her mother.
     
After spending so much time with Kgomotso and Anesu, Khanya was starting to warm up to him and usually smiled when he walked into the room. The bigger she got the more she resembled him but her mother’s fair complexion was still prominent.
     
He couldn’t park in the garage anymore because it was a storage facility for Kamo’s belongings, she was probably turning in her gold plated casket because the walk-in-closet was her favourite feature of this house. He left all the car doors open and threw his shoes in the dustbin.
     
MaNkosi wasn’t in the kitchen and it didn’t look like she was home at all. His pace faltered when he reached the living room and found Nolitha sipping on a big glass of wine.
     
“Why are you barefoot?” she asked, switching off the TV.
     
“I lost my shoes.”
     
Her brows gathered in a frown. “Where were you?”
     
“I slept over at my friend’s place.”
     
“Which friend because you and Anesu are not on speaking terms?” She tilted her head, waiting for an answer.
     
It would’ve been ideal to take a shower first because he wasn’t prepared for the gruelling interrogation. Nolitha’s inability to move on from the past was a headache.
     
“Anesu is not my only friend.”
     
“Well, tell your new friend not to leave her lipstick on your collar. You could’ve at least called and told me you were not coming home.”
     
“What are you still doing here, Nolitha?”
     
She raised her glass and welcomed another sip before she went up to him and he noticed she was wearing Kamo’s dress. It was one thing to move her clothes to the garage but wearing them was something he simply could not overlook.
     
“I thought about our chat yesterday and I didn’t want to make any rash decisions so I’m gonna stay and we’ll figure this out together.”
     
He shook his head and his sigh was loud and laced with frustration. “Why are you wearing her dress?”
     
“It looks good on me don’t you think?”
     
He instinctively stepped back as she tried to hold him. “I’m tired of having the same conversation with you Nolitha, we can’t do this anymore and wearing Kamo’s clothes won’t change that.”
     
“Why can’t you see that I’m the only one who truly cares for you, Lwazi? You think Kamo was so special, that you're always putting her on a pedestal but she wasn’t even faithful to you.”
     
“That’s a lie. I was the only man in my wife’s life.”

“Oh, really.” She laughed, revealing all 32 of her even and white teeth. “Then why did I find an engagement ring and letter addressed to her from a guy named Churchill hidden in the closet?”
     
It wasn’t true, not one single word because this wasn't how he wanted to remember his wife. He suddenly felt hot and his heart pounded through his chest and everything turned blurry in an instant.