TO LOVE A BROKEN MAN

13

                                



     

Tshego chose an abortion clinic in Alberton, far enough from the north so she wouldn’t risk bumping into her friends or any familiar faces that ran in the same circles as her mother. It was likely never going to happen and convincing her was a waste of time because she was adamant about keeping Ignatia in the dark.
     
Masika would feel better about accompanying Tshego if her mother knew and all the secrecy had worry gnawing a hole in her stomach. If something were to go wrong Masika would undoubtedly land in hot water and Lefa took after his mother because Ignatia didn’t easily forgive, which is why her affair with Ephraim was so surprising. She even went as far as suing Ephraim and Argentina when it was discovered the money to start Kasi Fried Chicken was stolen from her and walked away with 50% ownership of the business. Her unprecedented victory still gave Argentina chest pains because she only offered Ignatia 10% hoping to have the last laugh, but the joke was on her.
     
They had to take Joi with them because Lefa sent a message, reminding Masika to take his precious baby for a walk. She let him run around the fenced parking lot but he soon got tired and sought refuge under a tree, away from the unforgiving glare of the sun. Waiting was nerve-racking because she didn’t know what was going on inside and Tshego ignored her Whatsapp messages.
     
Masika heard about Lwazi’s father and the news outlets have had a field day since the story broke, she tried to reach out but didn’t know what to say because they didn’t know each other well enough and in these type of situations silence was golden.
     
She wasn’t expecting Tebello to call especially after her husband came huffing and puffing like the big bad wolf.
     
“I’m outside your apartment, where are you?”
     
“Out running errands.”
     
From the corner of her eye she could see Joi drinking from a puddle of dirty water, Lefa would raise hell if he found out she was treating Joi like a stray.
     
“Are you with Tshego? She’s not taking my calls.”
     
“Yes, she’s with me. I’ll tell her to call you back.”
     
“You know Tshego won’t do what she doesn’t want to,” she said, pointedly.
     
“Call her back later then, because there’s nothing I can do.”
     
“You should’ve said something when she was being disrespectful to my husband.”
     
Oh, please! Masika had better things to do with her time than cater to that man’s fragile ego.
     
“So, you think it was right for him to show up on my door step and talk to me the way he did?”
     
Her family misunderstood Gosiame from the beginning of their relationship because of what they called an overbearing personality. He could be controlling at times but it was nothing she couldn’t handle because he never got physical. Her father was the same way and got insanely jealous when Ignatia’s career took off and she started making more money than him, sleeping with Argentina was his way of asserting dominance in their marriage.
     
“What you and Lefa did made him feel emasculated. You should’ve just left this alone, I’m sure now people think he can’t control his family as a man.”
     
“Are you serious, Tebello, because you sound ridiculous right now?”
     
“I won’t let you ruin my marriage because Gosiame doesn’t fit your definition of what an ideal man should be. He is Kgothatso’s father and wants what’s best for him.”
     
Note to self: Never marry an insecure man. Masika mused.
     
“What about you? You’re her mother, don’t you want what’s best for your child? Do something before it’s too late, Tebello.”
     
“You clearly don’t understand, Masika, and I don’t expect you to because even your own mother thought leaving you at a dumping site was the best thing to do.” 
     
“It actually was because my life turned out so much better since I didn’t have to deal with an unloving mother.”
     
“What do you know about motherhood?” She was seething and ready to jump through the phone and slap a bitch.
     
“No. I’m ending this conversation before we both say more unforgivable things to each other. I’ll be sure to let Tshego know you called though, bye.”
     
“Don’t think this is over!” 
     
Masika tossed her phone back in her bag once she saw Tshego walking out, looking like she had the weight of the world hanging from her slim shoulders and Masika braced herself for what’s to come.
     
“Who were you talking to?” She asked, eyeing Masika’s bag suspiciously.
     
“Your sister and she wants you to call her back.”
     
Her trimmed brows creased as the corners of her mouth dipped into a frown. “Did you tell her that we’re here?”
     
“No.”
     
“Good because she can’t kept a secret.”
     
“Are you going to call her back?”
     
The look on her face questioned Masika’s intelligence.
     
“I’m not in the mood to talk to Tebello.”
     
“Are you in the mood to talk about your appointment?” she asked, holding her breath because Tshego didn’t mince her words for anybody.
     
“Can we talk you about my dress first?”     
     
Obviously Tshego was deflecting and Masika had no choice but to go along with it so she could get Tshego to open up.
     
“Sure. Why not?”
     
Her smile failed to light the spark in her eyes. “It’s not done yet but I’m happy with the progress so far.” She opened her gallery and showed Masika the pictures. It didn’t look like anything she’d want to wear. Her fashion sense was the polar opposite of anything too flashy. 
     
“So, what do you think?” asked Tshego after the long pause.
     
“It looks nice.”
     
Nice?! She would’ve asked a 5-year-old if that was the answer she was hoping for.
     
“That’s not very encouraging.”
     
“I don’t know what else to say because it’s not really my style.”
     
Tshego rolled her eyes, clearly annoyed. “Of course it’s not your style cause I’ll be the one wearing it.”
     
“If you like it then I’m happy for you.”
     
Tshego looked over the pictures again and lacked the excitement she had the first time she saw her dress and she partly blamed Masika for that. Her lukewarm reaction wasn’t exactly a confidence booster.
     
“It’s missing something,” she said, biting her nails.
     
Masika refrained from saying anything because giving fashion advice wasn’t her forte.
     
“As you know I’m having a masquerade ball themed party and my dress needs to be over the top-Bridgerton-fabulous, and I expect nothing less from you.”
     
“So, the theme applies to us as well?”
     
“Yes.” She didn’t bat an eyelash. “And I would greatly appreciate it if you did something out of the ordinary with your hair.” Tshego’s fake British accent didn’t make the snide comment hurt less. Her childhood hair tales left lasting scars.
     
“There’s nothing wrong with my afro, Zozibini won Miss Universe with her natural hair.”
     
“But you’re not Zozibini.”
     
“Mxm.”
     
Masika got Joi away from the puddle of water and put him on a leash.
     
“Where are you going?” Tshego ran after her. “Our Uber is on the way,” she said when Masika didn’t stop.
     
She was working up a sweat with her hurried strides as she tried to keep up with Joi, this was one big adventure to him as if he was experiencing everything for the first time.
     
“Masika, the Uber is literally 5 minutes away we have to go back.”
     
“Then go, I can get my own Uber.” Masika threw the words over her shoulder.
     
“I’m scared.”
     
Masika pulled Joi back as he tried to step onto oncoming traffic and picked him up even though she hated having his fur on her clothes. The adventure had to end because Lefa would never forgive her if anything happened to his annoying beast.
     
“What are you scared of, did something happen during your appointment?”
     
Tshego stopped, catching her breath. She’d feel better if she left here without this thing in her body.
     
“No. It actually wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be, but I’m freaking out about taking these pills. That’s how Valencia died, you know? She couldn’t go to a clinic because she was afraid her parents would find out so I gave her one of those abortion pamphlets and she bought the pills.”
     
“Valencia, your friend? Didn’t she fall and hit her head while in the shower?”
     
“That’s not how she died, her parents told that story because they didn’t want people to know the truth and I couldn’t say anything because I didn’t want them to know I gave her the pamphlet. They think I found her body by chance cause I went to their house after school since Valencia didn’t go to school that day. There was so much blood, Masika, I still can’t get the smell out of my mind.”
     
“I get why you’re scared but you have nothing to worry about.”  
     
“The nurse said misoprostol will cause bleeding and cramps so I think it’ll be best if I’m not alone after I take it.”
     
“That’s fine. You can sleep over at the apartment so I can keep an eye on you, and I’m sure my hot water bottle will come in handy.”
     
“Thanks. I really appreciate you coming here with me.” Tshego gave Masika a brief hug because she couldn’t stand being so close to Joi and was not one to pretend.
     
“I’ll always be there for you.”
     
This was the most sincere interaction they’ve had since she’s known Tshego and it made Masika happy to reach this point because they fought more than they got along. Some would say Masika tried too hard to form a relationship with Tshego because being an abandoned child made her desperate for approval.
                                                                    *********



     

There came a time in a man’s life when he had to swallow his pride and do the right thing. After numerous ignored calls and messages Lwazi had no choice but to approach Anesu in person, as much as he needed to make amends he also needed Anesu’s help before his life took a turn for the worst. Situated in Rosebank, Mshibe Consulting Engineers was an imposing building made of steel and glass, and the lobby felt impersonal since the last time he was here or maybe he felt that way because he knew Anesu wouldn’t be happy to see him. He was told to wait because Mr Luthuli was in a meeting, and the receptionist clearly disapproved of him showing up without an appointment.
     
The last time Lwazi was this nervous was the day he proposed to Kamo outside the Louvre with a bunch of tourists to witness the happiest moment of his life. Looking back on that day he began to realise it was selfish of him to propose so Kamo wouldn’t leave him when she found out about Nomusa, there are a lot of things he would’ve done differently if given the chance. Six months wasn’t a long time to know somebody and he took advantage of the fact that Kamo was blinded by love, so much so that she would’ve followed him to the ends of the world. To know that his actions pushed Kamo into another man’s arms gave him sleepless nights and he wasn’t ready to confront Churchill yet because he could end up in prison.
     
His father was still the topic of discussion and he couldn’t run away from it, according to one of his doctors since his admission that morning, Senzo Buthelezi was critical but stable. That was something a person faking his death would want people to know so Lwazi wasn’t alarmed.
     
“Sir, Mr Luthuli will see you now.”
     
“Thank you.”
     
His gait lagged as he went inside the lift and his mentally prepared speech evaporated from his mind as soon as the lift stopped on Anesu’s floor. It took every ounce of his willpower not to turn around and go back home. He had to take a moment before he knocked and gather himself.
     
“Come in.” The stern command rang through the double doors.
     
The stroller seemed to get heavier with every step he took and Anesu’s mean stare didn’t make it easy for him and he broke into a nervous sweat that was sure going to leave stains on his armpits.
     
“You can have a seat.” He kept his tone formal but couldn’t hide his smile once he saw Khanya sleeping in the stroller.
     
“Thank you for seeing me.”
     
“You’ll have to make this quick because Kgomotso is expecting me home soon.”
     
She wasn’t happy that he had to show face for this meeting so it was important for him to make it home early, because ausi Daphne was back in Sharpeville to get umembeso preparations underway.
     
“What’s his name?” asked Lwazi, looking at the baby picture displayed on Anesu’s desk.
     
“Nkazimulo, but his mother named him Rorisang.”
     
“Remember when we used to talk about being fathers and raising our children together.” His half smile was rather wistful.
     
“I’m not interested in the trip down memory lane, ndoda,” he said, glancing at his watch. “You have exactly 5 minutes to say your piece or you can just get the hell out of my office.”
     
Lwazi nodded, keeping his gaze down. “I’m sorry for sleeping with Jessica, I was weak as a man and did something I’ll always regret.”
     
“We were friends a long time, Lwazi, even more like brothers. So, I don’t understand why you didn’t tell me sooner because lying to me for all these years in unforgivable.”
     
“Because I wasn’t proud of what I did, and when the divorce happened I decided it was best not to tell you. Why ruin our bond over someone who wasn’t in your life anymore and that was very selfish of me.”
     
“Was it a onetime thing? Or were you always sleeping with each other while you secretly hoped I died in that hospital bed?”
     
“Awu kahle, ndoda, it was never like that.”
     
“Why should I believe you?”
     
“Give me a chance to make it up to you. I know I’m in no position to ask you for anything but I really think fixing our friendship is worth a shot because if things stay as they are, in the end it’ll be our kids who’ll suffer.”
     
“This is between me and you so leave the kids out of it. If you think you can strong-arm me into getting your way then think again. I don’t know how we’ll go back to the way things were before because I’ve lost the trust I had in you. But until we figure it out, you will bring Khanya to visit us one weekend a month because I won’t let you keep her away from Kgomotso.”
     
Lwazi moved to the edge of his seat, elbows on his knees and rested his chin on his clenched hands. “Maybe I shouldn’t have taken her in the first place because I’m not sure if I can do this anymore.”
     
“What are you saying?” Anesu frowned.
     
A sigh staggered past his lips as he buried his face in his trembling hands to hide the tears swimming in his eyes.
     
“I can't do this without Kamo.”