Hope Was Made For Them

Chapter 9- Teaming Up

Chapter 9

I watched the rain hit the window as I calmly tried to reset my mind and relax. "Hey elle" my mother came at sat next to me "mind if i join ya" she smiled making me shake my head..........i havent spoken to my mother in awhile. I just was so busy with jennie and i rarely saw my parents. Almost like it would have been if i had my own kids.

"Im sorry we havent spoken in awhile mom, ive just been so busy with everything going on-" i babled making a soft chuckle leave my moms lips

"Never apolzie darling....we see you plunty, we understand your going through so much, hun.....you have a child to raise" her words were so calming and so truthful. If anyone my mother would understand rasing children.

"Shes not even safe with me......shes gone, she should be here with me, its my fault shes gone" tears fell from my eyes as i felt my mothers gaze on me. But i couldnt pull myself to look at her pitiful stare. Its my fault jennie is gone. Im not blaming it on anyone else. Not ryder, not carrie, not dean, not anyone but myself. Shes my responsibility.

"Oh hun, listen.....i know what it may feel like now but trust me, its not your fault, no matter what you may think, darling she is not gone, just lost......and lost things can be found" she grabbed my hand softy making my gaze shoot to her. "We will find her"

Her words made me smile and give her a nod, afrid if i say anything else i might cry. She looked at me, eyes filled with pity. I didnt want anyones pity but at this moment i felt like i needed it.

Some time passed and soon my mother was asleep, i disdied to check on ryder. I walked over to the room ryder was resting in. lydia sat down next to him, slowly trying not to fall asleep.

"I can watch over him" i offer making her smile.

"Thank you ellie" she smiled at me, she was very grateful, her bags under her eyes were visible now. Its not good for the baby to stress. I sat down next to ryder once lydia left. His breathing was normal now. He had a bandage on his arm. And a rag on his head to help with his fever.

"Im sorry ryder" i words come out softy in a whisper "im so sorry for everything" my voice cracked as i spoke. "I forgive you, ofcource i forgive you.....you were protecting me, thank you" i still spoke softly as my tears fell on my hand.

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"Elle" a voice said making me wake up quickly, as soon as i realize i was asleep

Carrie softy smiled at me "you were out hun" she said making me run my fingers through my hair.

"Sorry i was watching him, i must have fell asleep" i say rubbing my hands on my thighs.

"Is everything alright, it looks like you have been crying?' carrie asked looking at me deeply before i looked away

"Bad dream" i say getting up "i'm going to go get him another towl" i let carrie know before she could answer me i was already gone, getting him another wet towel. I went to the bathroom and turned the faust. Lucky for us kent has a back up generator so he still has running water. Once the towel was wet i looked at myself in the mirror. And i saw the broken girl i was before. I was happy for just a moment. And it got ripped away from me. The happiness i got, went as fast as it came. I sqeeze the water out of the towel once i was tired of looking at myself. I went back to ryder. I stopped at the door way when i saw he was awake and lydia was kissing and hugging him. Carrie smiled at them like everyone else did. For some reason i couldnt find myself to do it. Carries gaze stopped at me and her smile slowly fell. Making me fake a smile. But she wasnt buying it. Ryders gaze went to me. And lydia followed. She smiled even bigger whenn she saw me. She ran over to me pulling me into a hug