READ THE WARNING

Chapter twelve

!TW!~Brief implications of r*pe, drug usage

Alex slowly opened his eyes. It was still dark and his eyes took a moment to adjust. Once he could see, he saw that he was in his room again and there was a man sitting on the side of his bed.

Alex quickly sat up and the man turned to look at him. Alex sighed, relieved that it wasn't the man from his closet.

"Be quiet." Whispered Erebus. "Your friends don't know I'm here, nor do they have to."

Alex nodded. The two were quiet for a minute.

"Thank you." Whispered Alex. Erebus smiled at him and nodded.

Alex fell asleep again a few minutes later, and when he woke up, Erebus was gone. Alex wondered if he'd dreamed the whole thing, but it didn't feel like it at all. He could so distinctly remember the whole thing.

He looked at the clock in his room and saw it was 6:00 am. This was about an hour earlier than he normally got up, but he couldn't go back to sleep, so he got up.

He started walking to his closet to get his clothes, but when he opened it, he saw someone sitting on the closet floor.

Alex jumped and stepped back, before realising there were two people on the floor, and he recognised them both.

"What the fuck are you guys doing in my house?!" 

"We just felt like messing with you." Said Sarah, shrugging and smiling.

"Who is 'we'? This was your plan." Damien rolled his eyes.

"Have you guys been fucking with me this whole time?! What's wrong with you?! Do you find almost killing me funny?! I didn't know you guys could morph. What was funny about attacking me in the shape of my ex?"

Sarah's smile completely faded and she and Damien looked at each other.

"That wasn't us..." Said Sarah, drawing her legs up to her chest.

"Then who was it?" Asked Alex,not completely believing her.

"Someone we hoped you'd never meet..." Mumbled Damien.

"That's not an answer."

"Well, it's the best we have for now!" Said Damien.

"Can you at least tell me how you got in my house?" Asked Alex.

"Your closet." Said Sarah.

"...How?"

Sarah shrugged, which annoyed Alex a lot.

"Can you maybe not just break into my house when I'm sleeping?" He asked.

"Alright, we'll make sure you're awake next time." Said Sarah. The worst part was that she didn't seem to be sarcastic.

"Wha-no! Guys, don't break into my house!"

"It's not breaking in, it's kindly letting ourselves in without permission while you're distracted." Said Damien. 

Alex face-palmed. He knew they weren't gonna listen.

"Anyway, it was nice seeing you and the big man hang out last night...well, you were unconscious for most of it, so I don't even know if we can call it hanging out." Said Sarah.

"W-wait, what happened while I was knocked out?!" Asked Alex, panicking. "Did he touch me?!"

"Oh, no, no, nothing like that! God, nothing like that." Exclaimed Damien. "What did you think? He saved you from getting raped just to rape you?! No! He's not an awful person! He just brought you back inside and to your room."

"Damien...what is rape?" Asked Alex. He knew the word, but had never been sure of what it meant. No one ever told him.

"O-oh..you don't know?" Damien and Sarah glanced at each other. "Um, I don't really think I'm the right person to tell you..."

"You have google." Offered Sarah.

"You guys have me scared to look it up now." Said Alex. He did intend to look it up later, but completely forgot.

"You really don't know enough to be handling all this on your own..." Said Sarah. Alex hadn't thought she was capable of being serious until now.

Before Alex could say anything, someone tapped on his door, and Sarah and Damien both darted to their feet and shut the closet door.

Sammy opened his door. "Who are you talking to? Is there someone in your room?" Asked Sammy.

"N-no." Said Alex. 

Sammy looked at him suspiciously.

"I get the feeling you're lying."

"I'm not." Said Alex. He hoped he sounded at least a bit convincing. He realised he was just standing in front of his closed closet, and it looked extremely suspicious. He took two steps back, which only increased Sammy's suspicion.

Sammy entered the room and walked towards Alex's closet.

"Don't open my fucking closet, it's not your business what I have in there!" Said Alex. Sammy ignored him and opened his closet.

Alex panicked for a second before seeing that there was no one in his closet.

How did they...? God, am I actually going crazy?

Sammy looked back at Alex. "What were you trying to hide from me here?"

"Nothing, you just have no business looking through my room." Said Alex, shutting his closet door.

Sammy left, but Alex could tell he still didn't believe him.

At least he left me alone about it.

Alex waited a minute, but Sarah and Damien didn't return. He supposed they left the same strange way that they entered.

...

Back when Adam and I were together, he led me to believe that sex was part of love, and that if I didn't have sex with him, I didn't actually love him. I did love him and I didn't want to upset him, but I hated having sex with him.

I always told him I didn't want to but he didn't really care about how I felt or what I wanted.

A while later, well after I left Adam and hoped he wouldn't come after me, Caroline came out to me as asexual. I didn't know what that was, so she explained it to me.

It seemed Adam had lied to me about another thing.

I assumed I was asexual after that. 

I never told anyone except Caroline that I was asexual. At the time, Shawn and I didn't know each other and Marina and I weren't close enough, and I knew my family wouldn't support me. Sammy wouldn't even believe me, he would say I was young and confused, and my mom would probably say the same thing just to try and convince herself. 

After I sent Amy and Anthony away, I started feeling extremely alone. I expected it, but I didn't expect to feel as bad as I did. I felt like I'd made a mistake, even though I knew anyone I asked would tell me I'd done the right thing. 

Now that they were gone, I didn't really have anyone. I'd left Adam, I'd left Carder, I'd left John, Marina and I barely knew each other, Caroline kept disappearing, my mom kept disappearing, I really didn't like Sammy. My social anxiety and recently developed trust issues kept me from talking to anyone.

I'm not sure why, but one day, I started feeling awful, just out of nowhere. I didn't think I was sick, I'd stayed inside my house for days, no one could've gotten me sick. I started going upstairs, struggling to even walk, but rather than going to my own room, I went to my moms room. I knew she was gone, and even if she wasn't I wouldn't have been going to her for comfort, but going to her room somehow felt comforting.

I laid in the bed for a minute before something on her bedside table caught my eye. A small bag of white powder.

I'd seen my mom do cocaine before. I knew how to do it. I just hadn't yet because I didn't have a reason to, but I knew it made my mom feel better. I reached for it and dragged it over. After that night, I felt like I couldn't put it down.