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Chapter twenty four

!TW!~ Implied su!cidal thoughts, sh, talk of r*pe, lemon, brief violence

The knocking on Alex's closet startled him from his thoughts. He'd been sitting alone in his room, staring at his knife, for the last five to ten minutes, considering taking things a bit farther than self-harm.

Don't think about that, he reads your mind.

"Erebus?"

"Yes." Erebus opened the closet and sat beside him. Alex had quickly put on his hoodie as soon as he heard knocking so he'd be able to hide his scars, but Erebus could tell something was up. 

"You alright?" He asked, sitting beside Alex.

"Yeah."

"That's a lie, I can tell. You have a different tone when you lie."

"Stop-...just, stop. I'll be okay."

Erebus slid his arm around Alex's shoulders, holding him closer to himself. "Why do you hate opening up so much?"

"I opened up to you a few...weeks? Months? Some time ago, and I told you everything."

"It's not everything anymore, is it?"

"Leave me alone, dude."

"Well, my apologies, I don't believe I can control caring about you."

"Shut up." Alex pushed away from him, unable to stop himself from smiling.

Erebus's hand went around Alex's arm as he pulled him closer. Despite himself, Alex winced and yelped. He'd tried his best not to react, but his arm was killing him.

Erebus looked at him in surprise. He reached for Alex's sleeve with his other hand and Alex quickly pulled away.

"Alex. Show me your arm."

"No."

"Why?"

"I'm cold, I'm keeping the hoodie on. You're overthinking."

"Again, I know when you're lying."

Erebus reached for his arm again and Alex quickly moved away. Erebus sighed, looking at Alex sadly.

"Please." Erebus's hand slid into Alex's. "I'm not gonna judge you for anything, and I'm not gonna tell anyone anything."

Alex slowly moved his hand out of Erebus's. He slid both hands inside his sleeves, still refusing to show Erebus anything. 

"I just wanna see how bad it is, Alex. I promise, what I see can stay between us, but I need to see if this is a big problem or not."

"It isn't."

Erebus moved towards him, slowly and gently taking his wrists. He pulled Alex's sleeve up and stared in shock at his arm, which at this point was about ninety percent scar and ten percent flesh.

"Alex...why?" He looked back at Alex, sadly, releasing his wrist.

"I-I-..." Alex felt tears start stinging his eyes again and he blinked them away. "I-I don't know, I just..." He had no idea how he could even start explaining any of this to anyone. He felt like he had so many reasons, but he couldn't put them into words.

Erebus put his arms around Alex, holding him against himself. He ran his fingers through Alex's hair while Alex struggled not to cry.

"It's okay." Whispered Erebus. "I understand that you're having a hard time, but this isn't a good idea, this isn't a healthy habit. Please, try to give it up. If this carries on for much longer, you're gonna end up destroying yourself beyond fixing, but there's still a chance right now."