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Chapter twenty seven

!TW!~Mentioning of death, arguing, fluff, implied depression, brief mentioning of a panic attack

Explaining to everyone that Sarah had died was somehow even harder than expected. All of Alex's friends wanted to know how and Alex just had to say he didn't know. In a way, it was true.

Damien almost stopped talking altogether. Sarah's death definitely took a toll on him, as everyone knew it would. Alex couldn't imagine how he was feeling.

Sarah hadn't been wrong; Cassander wasn't giving up, and that was more than obvious. He was there, always watching Alex, waiting for the time to strike. Alex wasn't even sure how anyone would be able to defend theirself against Cassander; Alex had punched him and Sarah had attacked him, and he hadn't looked even slightly affected.

Erebus felt extremely guilty for not being there when Cassander attacked, he was sure he would've been able to save Sarah if he'd gotten there on time, and now he seemed to be pushing aside all of his duties just to stay with Alex, not wanting history to repeat itself. If Alex died because he hadn't been there to save him, Erebus would break.

"No one thinks it's your fault except for you." Sighed Alex. He was making his bed and Erebus was hovering, pretending he had nothing better to do.

"I know, but just 'cause the majority thinks something doesn't mean it's true, it means the public unanimously voted it true out of foolishness and ignorance."

Alex sighed. He knew there wasn't any point arguing, but he continued anyway. "Just stop being so hard on yourself, you did everything you could, and I'm sure Ajuki appreciates it because she's surely smart enough to know you couldn't have done any more than what you did."

"If I wasn't so blind and panicky, I could've done much better."

"Your best is always enough, and you're the one who taught me that so you can't say shit. This is no one's fault except Cassander's, it's not like you're the one who murdered her."

Erebus smiled sadly. He didn't believe any of that for a second, but Alex won most of their arguments because Erebus let him. He didn't want to fight.

"Is there anything at all I can do to make you feel better?" Asked Alex, turning back to Erebus.

Erebus shook his head. "Nothing's gonna make me feel completely better, but this'll always lift my spirits a bit." He took Alex's chin in his hand, leaning closer and kissing him briefly.

Alex smiled, caressing Erebus's cheek a bit. He didn't like Erebus's reason for being around, but he had to say, having Erebus around was amazing.

"Will you stay with me even after all this shit evens out? Like, when Cassander isn't a problem anymore and everything's been figured out, will you still stay with me?"

"I'll be here for as long as you want me to be, beautiful." Erebus smiled. 

Alex wasn't sure what answer he'd expected, but somehow the answer he was given was very relieving. He guessed he hadn't completely thought the answer would be yes. 

"Go to bed, you didn't sleep enough last night." Sad Erebus.

"You're one to talk."

Erebus smiled. "I've told you that I don't need to sleep."

"You need to stop making me your top priority, care about yourself too, Erebus."

"Take your own advice, Alex."

"I do care about you, more than anything."

"Not what I meant. Take good care of yourself, and don't say you already do because that's complete bullshit."