READ THE WARNING

Chapter twenty two

!TW!~ Implied depression, commitment issues(is that triggering?), su!cide, insanity, memory problems

Alex kept zoning out at work. Countless times, he was snapped back to reality from someone shouting his name or snapping their fingers in front of his face. 

"Are you good?" Asked Shawn, while they were getting ready to close.

"I've been asked that way too many times recently." Was Alex's best response.

He knew his friends were concerned, they were good friends, they noticed things. He wished he could let them help, but he was endangering them if he got them involved with what was happening.

"How was work?" Asked Caroline, as soon as he got home.

"Awful. How was work for you?"

"Eh, not the worst."

"Good. I'm glad it was somewhat better than work was for me."

Alex walked upstairs to his room. Sarah told him last night that Erebus would be coming by today, but she didn't say when.

I really hope he didn't already come. I mean, I think he knows my work hours, he knows a weird amount of stuff about me.

Alex only had to wait a few minutes before hearing tapping coming from the inside of his closet. The door opened a bit.

"Can I come in?"

"Yeah."

Erebus finished opening the closet and sat beside Alex on his bed. "How have you been holding up, beautiful?"

"I mean, I can't complain, I've been worse."

"Just 'cause you've felt worse doesn't mean you can't feel bad. You know I'm happy to talk, I don't think talking about how you feel is a problem at all."

"You shouldn't-"

"-trouble myself with that? You shouldn't keep everything bottled up while you're just falling apart more inside."

Alex looked at the floor. He wasn't used to people actually caring how he felt. He definitely wasn't used to opening up. Erebus had changed quite a few things about him.

He and Erebus reached for each other's hand at the same time. 

"You know your dad was wrong." Said Erebus. "Everyone has feelings and everyone needs to let them out sometimes. That's part of being alive."

"Am I even alive?"

"I could've worded that better, my apologies. It's part of...existing."

Alex felt Erebus tighten his hold on his hand. Alex leaned against his shoulder.

"Existing has just been a lot more complicated recently." Said Alex. "Things I would've thought impossible even just up to a few months ago have been happening to me. Obviously there's Cassander, and he's fucking terrifying. I...honestly, I don't even know, I just feel like my whole world has been falling apart recently."

"I understand the feeling." Erebus laid his head over Alex's. "I'm not gonna be like all the middle-aged parents are, when they just tell you 'oh, it gets better the more you grow', I know how annoying that is. I know that things have been hard for you, you're going through a lot of stuff that no one should have to go through, especially at your age. Honestly, you've been holding everything together so well, and as I've told you before, I'm so proud of you, you're a lot stronger than most people. Alex, I hope you recognize how well you're doing, because you're doing way better than I, or almost anyone else for that matter, would in your situation. I believe you're going to get through this even stronger than you were before."