MY LIFE (BLOG)

BLOG#16

12/10/2022

I feel more pain when someone else's relationship falls apart and not just any relationship. But a relationship that was filled with love, care and so much genuine adoration and respect for each other. It hurts to see things fall apart after seeing things being exclusive.

When I got to know one of OH MY GIRL members left, I was shocked and a taken aback but only the next day did I actually cried and processed that information and continued to do so for few days until I had to go to school.

I shouldn't worry about these too much though. We are still too young to have this many responsibilities and thoughts.

29/11/2022

It's been almost a month since I wrote. Again. Honestly after my holidays or maybe probably from August, I have lost myself, what I feel and what I want. There are times where I do see myself, but I just push it back. I had lost touch with myself. After one week of holiday in September, after our exams in August from the third of the last term we were told about how our third term test is going to be a prize test and how we need to work harder. It was just too much at that point because there was some instability in me back in August but ignored it since I had to focus on my exams and then I just never got time to exactly figure things out so from a very long time I was waiting for our exams to finish and get our holidays, which we actually got today.

I will be starting my GCE O/L from next year and our classmates will probably be separate from next year whom I have been with for 3 years. We weren't really emotional today because we knew we'll be meeting each other and be together for about two weeks in January for paper discussions and we'll probably get emotional on the day we go to the other class; on the last day we are going to be together. But I have somethings which I am going to do in the holidays, and I expect to do all those. And I feel like with the exam phase my routines keeps on changing. The routine of mine was very different than the one in April from starting of this year. And I feel like I lose sense of what my life is when I am on the exam days because I spend every day studying and focusing on those things and when the exams are finished, I am not exactly sure what I am supposed to do so I end up going to the phone or laptop and it just ends up me being addicted do screen.
And my sister recently started to wear spectacles so the doctor had advised to get my eyes checked as well since my whole family wears spectacles so I really want to protect my eyes and I try to minimize the time I am on screen (maybe not too hard though) But yeah there has been other things as well and I will finish things up of those as well.
I am actually getting through this year and so are you so be proud and appreciate yourself.

23/12/2022

It's been a while since I got my holidays, and I can confidently say that I didn't do anything I had planned to within this month. Being honest I don't even know what I did so far. And I was mostly in social media. But the thing is I don't even understand what I do in social media. I actually tried making notes but...it's just hard to look at the book. Like especially for History. I don't even know how to do it.

One thing I wish was that we have practical test for some subjects like ICT. Because even if a person has the best knowledge from the book doesn't mean they can always do the real thing if they don't have the practice and experience.
Like everything we learn can be useful in our daily lives but without actually applying them we won't know how they exactly help us. What are the pros and cons of that.

But however, since there is about only a week to the end of 2022, I will write something on the last day of the year and hope for it to be something big. I hope everyone of you are proud of yourself for how much you did and how far you came this year. And I can't honestly, it's hard to believe that it's been another year already after I started writing. Hope you all are ok and smile a little more?

28/12/2022

Everything changes. You can't stop something or someone from changing. One thing I was scared and maybe still is, change. Change of myself, I felt like if I changed anything about me that meant I don't like myself. But I realized that with time everything changes.
With time we learn new things and experience things and we take those and be a better version of ourselves. It isn't necessary that we actually turn good. We could turn bad as well. Considering a person's experience and how that inputs into our brain and processes the output or the change could be different. The change could be for better or worse for people.

For me with time I realized I had changed a lot. The way I see things and approach things. Especially how I might have seen something before and now I see it in a different way. You might have an opinion about something, but it could change when you see it in a bigger and a better view. And for me I know there's so many things to learn and experience. For now, even though I am with different communities its limited. But when I actually grow up more and go out there's so many things and people I could encounter. And for me, I feel that the main thing that could change about me is the way I views things. With time I'll get a clearer view and be more understanding towards it. But when that changes a lot of things could be affected as well, the way I lead conversations, my relationships in life, and many small points. Either the people around me or me myself could' see those changes first.
There could be people that notice your changes even before you and when they do you could be in denial about it as well. And sometimes when you do realize that you changed you could hide it or bury it and pretend that everything is the same. And as I told you, you could either change for good or bad. You'll have to figure it with time.

If in a friendship or in any kind of a relationship a person changes or everyone involved change you should talk about it and communicate and understand. It would better rather than just be leaving the relationship. Even if other person hurts you, try to talk with them, and then if having that relationship still hurt you, you should get out of it. Changing also involves in giving second chances. People make mistakes and learn from them and change those wrong doings. Sure, I admit not everyone learns from their mistakes. And if a person needs to understand that a thing their doing wrong you can try and help them.

I think people should think about themselves once in a while. I mean like sit down and think if anything changed about you. It could help you to understand yourself better. And just because someone changes don't mean they become another /different person every time. And I should add that that a preference or style of a person, a personality, the way a person talks, their attitudes and even their appearance can also change. So, I included everything about the above mentioned and generally gave thoughts about them changing. I had much more planned to say but can only get this much to write. This idea about changing got to me in the morning when I woke up. Literally I was still on my bed. I just thought now since the year is ending that, how far I've come and how much things changed in my life with time.

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Sometimes I do miss how things were in the past, but I look forward for more changes in the future as well.
And please don't mind, I was half asleep when I was writing this, and I didn't re-read this.

But remember that even if you expect the change to happen you won't be fully prepared for when the real thing actually happens.

TAKE CARE.
BYE.