MY LIFE (BLOG)

BLOG#19

(There were supposed to be some parts that was planned to be published but after re-reading them again I felt they were too personal, too sensitive for me to publish so I decided I am not publishing them. I don't think those will actually see the light in here nay day. So don't mind the big-time gaps in BLOG#18. Well hope you enjoy this as well)

31/12/2023

Hello everyone, we have reached to another end. Another chapter, another year to wrap up and finish. It's another year coming to close with many memories, moments, emotions, feelings and thoughts all ending up being a part of our other memories gathered through the years. Will all of them be part of your future or will you leave some in the past?

This year so far was one of the most memorable ones for me. Maybe because I wasn't expecting much in this year that I got so many things that I never thought I would get. I wasn't really ready to be part of this year. To see what this year had in hold for me but of course you can't just stop time and wait until you are ready.

This year had so many unexpected and chaotic moments that I never expected it to have. I do admit that through all that chaos there were tears and struggles and I am not over those as well. But I learnt to appreciate the good things I got; I achieved this year rather than letting all the painful moments take the value of those precious memories.

I made so many new friends and I got so comfortable with my classmates with time, it was very surprising. Maybe sometimes not thinking too much about your actions and letting them free can actually lead you to some nice things.

I participated in our school interhouse chess tournament, I wrote stories for one international competition and one All-island one. And I got to be part of our All-island Shakespeare Competition production our school participated. Even if I didn't win in any of those, the experience I got just from being a part of them was very new and things I never knew I would actually get to experience.

Especially being a part of the cast of the production was never in my bucket list for the year (I don't have a bucket list), but I just thought why not try out and I did. And got selected. So, it was one of the most surprising things that actually happened. But I don't regret that impulsive decision I made that day. I got to meet some nice people through this.

And between all those happy moments, there were sad moments as well.
Actually, for the most part of the year I felt like I wasn't in the reality. I knew how fast the time was flying. But it felt nice, to pretend that everything was fine. To show that these moments were all happy and ignore how things were turning worser eventually. It was easier at first, to be cheerful and energetic but with time it was getting tiring and draining but that didn't stop me.

I ignored how my actions were affecting me and it became my second nature to put on the smile and be smiling when I was around people. But even through these times it was nice. I had a great time. Even if it was for some mere moments, I got to feel happy, to feel loved, feel excited, feel content with how things were.

I felt lonely mostly throughout the year but thanks to Stray Kids it was easier to get through this year. OHMYGIRL and BTS also helped me, but SKZ was majorly there, so I have to appreciate them. But either way I am thankful for all three groups for helping me and being there to lift my mood up and make me feel excited through the year.

This year was filled with energy, love and pain. For the first time in a while, I'm not too anxious about the upcoming but excited. But a part of me is scared. I feel like everything will start crashing down next year and it will be my last straw and I'll explode (give up). My mind is not in a good state already and I feel like it's going to get worse. But would it even matter if something happened to me? (let's hope that my friends keep a close eye on me this year). Either way I won't let it bring me down just yet. Not yet.

Then it's time to let go of all the hurtful things and start afresh. Use your scars to be stronger not to pity yourself. Moving forward to the new year promise yourself that you are not giving up no matter what. Bye 2023.

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01/01/2024

Happy New Year!
Going forward this year remember to do your best. Make sure to not let your thoughts hold you back. Go and do everything you want to. Within the time you'll be working hard, remember to take care of yourself and enjoy the year as well. Remember to rest and take a break when things get too much.

Meet new people, make new friends and make new memories. Try new things. Don't let the thoughts of future stop you from doing the right things, doing the things you love. Even if things don't go well and end up bad don't let it stop you. Go forward. It'll be worth it.

This year will surely be a very busy one for me but let's make it worth the while, shall we? Let go of yourself and let yourself be free this year. Enjoy every moment. Make every single one of those moment count.

Whatever the changes and challenges that waits for us let's do our best in improving ourselves and being a better version of us. Be careful not to repeat your mistakes. Look after yourself. Let's work hard for ourselves. Let's make ourselves proud.

Then here's to another year that's going to be filled with chaos and drama.
HAPPY 2024 EVERYONE!!!

TAKE CARE.
BYE.