angel baby | hyunlix

ten

felix turned his gaze from his boyfriend when he heard hyunjin sigh as he slightly gripped the steering wheel of the car.

the smaller boy bit his lip as his eyes welled with tears yet again, shifting his body so it was facing the window of his side on the passenger seat.

hyunjin was upset, felix knew that. he wasn't stupid, he knew his boyfriend too well. hyunjin was there for the boy as he respected his decision, just didn't mean that he agreed with it.

of course, he'd wish the appointment they were going to was to check up on the baby, not to go abort.

felix knew that once it was done, nothing was going to be the same. he felt so empty, so numb, but he just had to do it.

"we're here," hyunjin lowly said, snapping felix out of his thoughts.

the parking lot was empty, being that it was only six in the morning. felix wanted the earliest available appointment.

hyunjin grabbed the bag with the boys belongings and quickly went to open the door for felix. hyunjin's slightly shaky hand grabbed felix's, holding tightly.

"hello, we have an appointment with dr. park for lee felix," hyunjin kindly said to the receptionist.

"yes, this is for mr. lee," the receptionist smiled kindly as she placed a white plastic wristband with the boy's information onto felix's left wrist, "second floor. take a seat in the waiting area and you'll be called shortly."

and so the two young boys made their way to the elevator, silently standing next to one another. they sat down onto the cold, uncomfortable chairs. hyunjin's leg bounced nervously after each passing minute, biting his lip as he clenched his jaw. felix placed his warm hand onto the bouncing thigh, immediately stopping the movement and softening his face.

hyunjin brokenly looked up at felix, who looked at him just as broken. the taller boy wrapped his arms around him as he placed a gentle kiss on the top of his head.

"lee, felix?"

the two looked at each other before felix bit his lip and stood up, hyunjin following right behind him, hand on the small of felix's back.

"hello, right this way," the nurse smiled as she held the door open for the two before walking in front of them, leading them to their room.

"dr. park will be in shortly," the nurse said after taking a quick wellness check, leaving the room.

"i'm really sorry," felix whispered quietly, not trusting his voice.

hyunjin just took his hand in his, squeezing gently as he kissed the smaller boys knuckles.

"hello," dr. park knocked on the door, peeking in before she fully entered the room, "i see you're here for an abortion procedure. i do need you to do a urine sample and an ultrasound, it's standard procedure."

felix mouth slightly opened, "oh, o-okay."

he grabbed the sample cup from dr. park, going into the bathroom to do his business then went back into the room.

"now lay down for me and lift up your shirt," dr. park instructed as she grabbed the gel.

dr. park placed a glob of gel onto felix's lower abdomen, gently pressing the transducer to check on the fetus.

felix looked over at the screen right when dr. park found the baby, feeling a strong wave of déjà vu. he looked at the small blob on the screen, just like last time.

except this time there was no blob. the ultrasound showed a teeny tiny baby. a tiny baby that had a tiny head with tiny feet and hands.

he felt his heart ache.

he grabbed hyunjin's hand tightly as tears pooled into his eyes, not moving his sight from the tiny being on the screen.

dr. park pressed a few buttons as she moved the transducer around before handing paper towels to the smaller boy.

"i'll be prepping for the procedure now," dr. park gave felix a sympathetic smile, handing hyunjin a medical gown for felix, "you'll need to change out of your clothing and into a gown. there's the restroom in this room for your comfort."

felix sat up on the examination table, fixing his gaze on his hands that were playing with the hem of his sweater. he looked at the medical gown in hyunjin's lap, at dr. park gathering the instruments needed, and back to his hands. he felt nauseous and his hands began to softy shake.

dr. park excused herself quickly, leaving felix and hyunjin in the room. felix felt his eyes gather with tears that were threatening to fall, "i can't do this."

"i know, that's why we're here, love," hyunjin said softly as he placed his hand on felix's knee.

felix looked up at hyunjin as tears flowed out of his eyes, "i want to go home, hyunjin, i can't do this."

hyunjin's eyes slightly widened, knowing what the trembling boy was implying. the taller boy nodded his head, his heart beating out of his chest.

hyunjin's eyes watered as he wrapped his arms around the smaller boy, letting him cry on his chest. hyunjin noticed dr. park walk in and made eye contact, and given by the small smile playing on her lips, somehow she knew what he meant.

"let's go home, my angel," hyunjin closed his eyes, letting the tears fall as he petted felix's hair softly.

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