housekeeper

17. Sadness

(Vanessa)

Upon my arrival, the hospital had already been notified, and a female gynaecologist promptly volunteered for the examination.

The police tried to ask me more questions, but all I could say was that I wanted to wash everything out of my head and body as soon as possible. They decided to leave me alone and let the doctor begin her exam.

The gynaecologist's examination, swaps, and photos of all the bruises, my neck, wrists, and ankles, made me feel really exposed and embarrassed. She also provided me with a prescription for the morning-after pill, following my panic that it could potentially lead to a pregnancy. But that wasn't the worst part. As I told the police, I wanted to take a shower as soon as possible. I felt so dirty that I wanted to feel soap and water on my skin as soon as possible. I perceive her voice calling to me within the haze of my thoughts.

"Vanessa, would you like to return to your flat, or would it be possible for you to stay elsewhere tonight?"

I don't wish to return home; I'd rather not be reminded of it.

"I would prefer to stay elsewhere, but my friend is away travelling, and staying with my family is not a possibility."

"Is there an alternative solution?"

I say, "There's Dave," and then quickly correct. "No, I can't expect that from Dave. I'll go to my flat." Tears stream down my cheeks, and my lower lip starts to quiver.

I don't think it's a good idea to go to your flat."

After some thought, I realized Dave is the only person I trust besides Stephanie. Moreover, Dave has an available spare room, and his residence possesses the most impressive security measures I have ever encountered.

"If Dave is okay with it, I'd like to spend the night at his place."

"All right, I'll ask him. Meanwhile, you can put your clothes back on."

I quickly put on the clothes in the changing room after the gynaecologist left the room. Upon my return to the doctor's office, I found my gynaecologist bent over her computer. She glances up, her face breaking into a smile. "Mr. Lavens has given his consent. I'll call you with the results of the smear test. Take care, Vanessa, and goodbye."

"Thank you," I reply, managing a weak smile.

After the drive home and an uncomfortable conversation with Dave, I prepared for a shower. Standing unclothed, my hand paused beneath the cold stream of water, I carefully examined my reflection. My left eye and cheek bore shades of blue, with bruises dispersed over my body. Both eyes were red and swollen. The large white waterproof bandage dominated almost all of my neck. I was far from presentable, resembling a creature from a tale. Turning away from the mirror, I was desperate to get into the shower. Checking that the water was warm, I stepped in.

When I feel the warm water on my skin, I quickly take the bottle of shower gel in my hands. I spray a large amount into my hand and start smearing all the gel on my skin at a vigorous pace. I sprayed several times with the gel on my hand until I emptied the entire bottle. But the dirty feeling stays. I eventually start crying and lower myself into a corner with my hands in front of my eyes and my knees close to my chest.

After drying off, I made my way to the guest room. On the edge of the bed lies a pile of clothes: an oversized T-shirt, sleeping pants, and socks, all of which are incredibly soft. I notice a glass and a bottle of water on the bedside table. I wonder if they were there before I entered. Lying down, I curl up into a ball, close my eyes, and quickly drift into a deep sleep.

***

Kevin chuckles with ferocity as he lies on top of me. It hurts when he penetrates deep within me, and tears pour out of my eyes. I hit him and tried to get out from under him. But he pierces my arms on the matras. There is only black when I look around. Kevin's eyes become bright red. We need to stop this horrible dream. I let out a loud scream. I am trying to escape from under him.

"Vanessa, stop it... Vanessa," echoes in my ears like a whisper carried by the wind.

***

(Dave)

Startled awake by a scream from the other room, I leap out of bed and dash to the guest room. Flicking on the light, I see her in bed, seemingly caught in a nightmare, thrashing and reaching out with her hands. I sit beside her, attempting to steady her arms by the wrists. Initially, she resists fiercely, mumbling about Kevin. I persist, calling out her name repeatedly.

"Vanessa, stop it... Vanessa," I urge firmly until her body goes rigid. Our eyes meet, and when the fear in hers fades; I release her wrists.

"Sorry, Vanessa. I just didn't want you to get hurt."

Vanessa's eyes, wide with fear, meet mine. I break the contact, examining my hand before exhaling a heavy sigh. In a whisper, I offer, "I'll leave you be. Sleep well?" Rising, I made my way to the door.

"Dave?" Vanessa's whisper halts me. I pivot back. She's sitting up in bed, her gaze imploring, reaching out to me.

"Yes?"

"Could you stay in my room tonight until I fall asleep?"

"On the floor?"

Vanessa scans the room, then fidgets with her fingers uneasily. I ponder for a moment before offering a suggestion.

"How about we sleep on the couch downstairs? That way, I'm close by if you need anything."

A smile blooms on Vanessa's face. She nods, clutching her pillow. I retrieve my pillow from my room, and together, we descend the stairs.

I gather the blankets draped over a chair and hand one to Vanessa. She settles on the couch, watching me as I take my place on the adjacent couch.

"Dave?"

"Yes?"

"Thank you for rescuing me."

"No, thanks. I'm relieved I managed to sort everything out in time. If I hadn't sent James, then..." My voice trails off as I catch sight of Vanessa's tear-filled eyes. I stand taller, realizing this is the second time I've cried in front of her. She gently wipes away a stray tear with her thumb, and I gasp softly.

"Damn it, I should never have gone with that awful Sara. None of this would have happened. I'm consumed by guilt, Vanessa. Please forgive me."

Vanessa sits up, her eyes wide with surprise.

"But Dave, there's nothing to forgive," she insists.

"Yes, there is," I persist.

I settled beside Vanessa on the couch, taking her hand in mine.

"If I hadn't left, then... everything would have been different. Perhaps you would have found someone who didn't take advantage of you, someone who truly cared for you."

"Dave?"

"My cousin abused you to get to me. He used you to hurt me."

"What do you mean?"

"I... you're special to me. I..."

Vanessa's gentle lips met mine, instilling a sense of fear; the dread of erring was overwhelming. Was it proper to return the kiss? To what extent should I be careful? Vanessa stopped and looked deeply into my eyes. Her eyes were wide and bright, full of a silent question hanging in the air.

"Dave? Can I have a hug?"

No further invitation was necessary. I pulled her close and enveloped her in a comforting hug. As I softly kissed her hair, my chin settled atop her head. Time appeared to pause in that embrace, and while the exact moment I drifted off is unclear, I maintained my hold throughout.