Kim Namjoon - Rivals

Chapter XIII

Chapter 13: Mood swings

''Urgh, he is such an idiot! How could I-'' I mumbled and cursed under my breath after leaving Bangtan's place. My head was on fire, and those flames could destroy everything from its path if I wanted to. It was a mess that my tiny brain cells couldn't fix in a second, so I had to suffer. I didn't want to feel what I did.

What did I feel? I felt the same sensations I felt when I was still with him. When I first met him, to be exact. He wasn't always this cruel and heartless. Not that he wasn't caring and a human with a heart just now, but the way he has acted for the past week isn't the man I once fell in love with. I couldn't recognize him.

The man I used to love was someone who could fight for me, who could say something against my words and mean it. Now, he seemed like any other of his little minions who take up orders but cannot stand behind what they say. All of them are super cocky, and they hide behind that. In reality, they are all just little boys who once lost their homes and had nowhere else to go but here.

It just wasn't him.

The path home was cold. Winter was coming, and later it got, the more cold it got. I wasn't wearing anything warm, to be honest. Did I even have a jacket with me? I honestly can't remember after that brainstorm.

In these thoughts, I didn't notice I had already arrived home. I took the keys from my pocket and opened the door. It was dark inside. I could only see the lights coming from the TV the girls were probably watching. I closed the door, which made one of them yell from the living room.

''Hey, you came!'' it was Jisoo's voice. Soon, they all came to the hallway, looking at me just standing there, shivering from the cold and dead silent.

''Are you alright? What did he say?'' Lisa carefully asked, but I wasn't in the mood to answer. I took my shoes off and walked straight upstairs without answering their questions.

Lisa tried to ask again, but Rosé stopped her before she could do so. I could hear her whispering that it was better to let me go now. She saw everything wasn't in the right place at the moment. And knowing me, I wasn't going to share it. At least not now.

So they watched me walk up and enter my room. After closing it, I slid down by the door, trying to hold the tears I had been holding this whole time, but as usual, it wasn't working. More tears came, and I had difficulties to catch my breath.

This is how much one man can do by just not doing anything.

The morning came, but I hadn't slept even ten minutes. I was up all night thinking about the situation and trying to forget it. I had no idea why this was bothering me so much. I couldn't give this man a chance to dig into my life again and hurt me. But here I was, thinking about him and his doings regardless.

I was too scared to go downstairs. I knew the girls were there, probably waiting for me to explain how everything went. But the thing was, I had never told them about the feelings I had before Namjoon came into my life and how he helped me out of the dark place.

That was the only part I had left in the dark from them.

Should I tell you everything went well? They would see I'm lying. They know me that well. And also, they'd figure it out by how I acted yesterday when I came home. I had no way to go through it without telling them the truth. I have always been challenging towards Bangtan and Namjoon when my girls have been with me. They have never seen my weak side.