𝑴𝒚 𝑪𝒓𝒊𝒎𝒊𝒏𝒂𝒍 | 𝟏𝟖+

~ enjoy your life without me ~

Ruby's perspective

I stare up at his gorgeous face. His sharp features are relaxed as his mind wanders the realms of imagination.

I'd love to know what he's dreaming about.

His usually pale skin has a honey glow in the morning sun and his dark hair has light highlights. I run my finger down his torso, caressing all his tats and wondering what they signify.

"Morning Love," he whispers in a deep morning voice before kissing my forehead.

I snuggle up to his chest before mumbling a greeting in return.

"I love you," he breathes, so quiet I doubt whether it was real.

"How would you know you love me when you know nothing about me?" I test.

"I know lots of things about you,"

I snicker. "Like what?"

"I know you're a Taurus, I know your favourite colour is blue, you're a perfectionist, you work hard, you're passionate, you like to read even if they're boring books," he says with a shrug, "you always tie your shoelaces twice, you like tucking your shirt in and you rarely wear your hair up,"

"Okay, that's not really knowing-"

"You have a disabled younger brother and you care for him even though you don't have to,"

I gasp silently as he continues.

"You love your mother, you love Japanese food,"

"O- okay, you can stop now," I mumble while shoving my hands in his face. "How do you even know this stuff?"

"I did a background check," he whispers.

"You what!?"

"I have connections... outside of here,"

His face is sullen as he says it, almost as if he's afraid I'll be mad.

"But uh, speaking of! I got you a gift,"

He jumps up and runs over to a little draw set in the corner. He opens it and pulls out something square wrapped in blue.

He walks over and the bed dips a little as he sits next to me. I lean up and join him on the end of the bed before he hands me the present.

I slowly rip open the wrapping to reveal a book - The Art of Psychopathy.

I gasp softly, raising my hand to cover my gaping mouth.

"How did you... thank you,"

"I hope you don't mind but..." he reaches over and flips open the cover to reveal a note. It reads:

Your old copy of the book was torn and tattered but well-loved, it was like a beautiful metaphor of our own time together - messy but cherished. I got you a fresh copy to start a new chapter together, one filled with my love.

"I- I'm not the best with words, so I know it's not the best but-"

"I love it," I whisper.

"Really?"

I turn to face him. He wears a nervous look, slightly flushed, but he relaxes under my gaze.

"Yes," I lean over and give him a quick kiss on the cheek.

Blush fumes on his cheek as he gently brushes the spot I kissed.

"Could you... ever love me?" He asks in a mumble.

I falter for a moment.

Do I love him? Could I love him?

My stomach twists as I realise I can't give him the answer he's looking for right now.

"Right, we should get to work," I rush.

I quickly stand, brush my dress down and head over to my desk to grab a notebook.

"So, I need to get a few things straight,"

He stares up at me with tears brimming in his eyes and I flinch.

"Um... I uh, I have your motivation, I've started a profile on your mental health, and considering you don't have a criminal history I need to look into whether or not you'd hurt people again..." I ramble on and on about all the paperwork I need to fill in until finally, Ethan takes my hand.

"Do you... even see me as a person?"

My eyes go wide. "What?"

"What am I to you? Am I just your experiment? Was there nothing between us?"

"You're my patient," I whisper.

"Nothing else?"

He tugs me closer to him, placing my hand on his heart.

"You're telling me you don't feel this... this electricity?"

My pulse quickens as he runs my hand down his torso.

"Ethan, I need you to work with me."

"So you can just up and leave as soon as you can?"

"No, I have a job to do-"

"So the reason you never pushed me away was just so I'd do what you say,"

I roll my eyes. "You don't do what I say anyway,"

"Then why?"

My eyes dart around the room as my mind dogs. "I- I don't know,"

"Why can't you just give me an answer!"

Fumes boil inside of me.

"Ethan! For fucks sake, what do you expect from me!?" I burst while glaring at him. "I'm risking my job by doing this shit with you! And for what!? A cold-hearted, psychopath who does nothing but play games with me!?"

His eyes almost bulged out of his head.

"Is that what you think of me?"

"I-" Tears swell in my eyes as I stare into his hurt expression. "No, it's not. But it's one side of you I can't deny."

He stumbles back, knocking against the desk as he does.

"Fine, you want me to work with you? My name is Ethan Woods. I killed ten fat old men for my sister. It was ordered by their gang leader God. He wanted them dead because he wanted to destroy the wicked system of our society. The people I killed were rapists and murderers who only cared about money. I am very unstable and emotionally volatile, I don't feel guilt from killing those pigs and yes, I would kill more if it meant saving my sister." He pauses for a breath, "So there you go, my motive, assessment and patterns."

I stare blankly at him for a moment before whispering a simple, "Thank you,"

"Enjoy your life without me."

And with those words, I'm gone.

I pack up my office supplies.

I walk into my old room, the faded rainbow stickers and plushies no longer feel like home.

I drop off the cardboard box and visit my apartment.

The white walls and large windows are the same - cold, and heavy.

Everything feels distant.

Everything feels wrong.

But my job is done.

I will never see Ethan Woods again, so I need to learn to live without him.