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Beyonce’s POV

I was in my office when I got a text from Onika, telling me she can’t fetch Blue today, which was weird. I left work early to fetch her and came back to the office, she stayed in my office while I attended back to back meetings. Finally, what seemed like eternity I knocked off and went home with Blue.

We arrived home and first thing I noticed, Onika’s car was not in the garage. The house lights were off, was no one home? I checked my phone, not a text or call from Onika. Who was I kidding, we hadn't communicated in months. It wasn’t until I reached my bedroom to find Onika’s side of the closet empty, which confirmed what I was already thinking. She had moved out.
“Ma, where’s mom?” Blue came rushing in my bedroom, “not now Blue!” I shouted from the closet. Not a second later I could hear a bang from the door, ‘just great’ I thought. I tried calling her but she wasn’t picking up, with no idea where she went I couldn’t just drive to her. I resorted to calling Rumi and to my luck she answered. “Hey Ru baby how are you?”, “ma, what’s going on?” I didn’t know how to reply to her. “can you put mom on the phone” I asked,
“okay”. After a minute the phone dropped, in frustration I threw the phone against the wall.

Days turned to weeks and I was at my lowest, Onika still didn’t contact me, Blue was blaming me for everything. Amidst all that I got a call at work from Papa's teacher, he wasn’t well. I quickly dropped everything and went to his school.

The nurse quickly greeted me and pointed to the bed he was on, he was sleeping soundly. “baby…” I
whispered while stroking his face, how I missed him. The look in his eyes when he saw me, broke me. “Ma!” he launched his tiny body at me and I embraced him warmly.

“There seems to be nothing wrong with Papa bear health wise, probably just missed home” the nurse told me and I breathed a sigh of relief, “I’ll take him home for the rest of the day”.

While in the car I tried calling Onika, I was surprised when her teacher called me first only to find out that Papa asked them to call me. Although happy with that thought, Onika won’t be so happy. As expected, she didn’t answer my calls. She’ll just have to find out from the school later on that Papa is with me.

I spent the day with Papa at the mall, at the age of 6 surely he is confused by the current situation. He is a bubbly kid but he was unusually quiet today. after lunch we got ice-cream and I drove home while he slept in the back seat.

Upon arrival he woke up and took in the surroundings, the delight once he saw our house was both amazing and heartbreaking. He quickly got out
“Ma…hurry” and so I did.

I stayed in his room while he played with his car toys and spoke with his fish, 'kids' I thought.

At 2pm I sent Blue a text about having Rihanna come fetch her from school, only to be told ‘I’ll take an uber Ma’,
she’s still mad at me, I don't blame her.

“Ma…your phone is ringing!” Papa brought me out of my thoughts. I looked at the screen and it was Onika, “I need to take this, I’ll be in my room okay?” he nodded and continued to play with his cars.

“What the hell Beyonce!” I was greeted with anger, “Onika calm down” I could hear her breathing
heavily. “Don’t fucking tell me to come down! Who gave you the right to take my child, he is my child!” it was no use talking with her when she's worked up. I dropped the call and sent her a text.

Me- I’m at home, you can come fetch him.

I didn’t mind dropping him, I knew she wouldn’t want me to know where she resided.

When Blue got home she was surprised but happy to find Papa here. For a moment I thought everything was back to normal and the past few weeks was just a nightmare. Onika arrived around 5pm and was livid, with Rumi behind her, who was happy to see us. The bone crushing hug I received from her made me feel relieved. “I missed you so much Ma” she told me tears forming
in her eyes, “I missed you more my love”.

As soon as Onika and I reached what was once our bedroom, she unleashed her rage. “what were you thinking taking him without my permission?!” all that driving didn’t calm her down. “if you had answered my calls, we wouldn’t be having this conversation” I replied calmly. “don’t come near my kids again, you are nothing to them!” that hurt, “okay” she’s angry and wants to hurt me. I walked away.

After leaving Onika in the bedroom I went downstairs and found the girls watching a movie. “Ma, should we order pizza?” Blue asked when she saw me settle on the couch, Onika followed soon after.

“Rumi, Papa let’s go” Onika spoke up after find her way in the TV room. Papa tried to put up a fight but
Onika wasn’t having it and Rumi just went to the car in silence.

I stayed up all night thinking about when did things go wrong and typed a text to Onika.

You probably won’t read this like the bunch of messages you ignored. I let you be for far too long, we are not the only one in this relationship. If you were not aware, there are kids involved who do not deserve any of this. I fucked up and won’t blame you for leaving, but you can not keep me away from your kids like I am nothing all of a sudden. I might have not carried them in my womb, like you like to point out that they are not mine just to spite me, but I carry them in my heart. That won’t ever change, but if you don’t want me around them, I’ll stay away, I was never one to impose. I never thought things would turn out like this, yet here we are. I want nothing but for you to be happy, so this is me staying away. One thing you should know is that I love you and the kids, at least let me say goodbye to them. They don't deserve any of this.

I hit send and turned off my phone.
The next morning, I thought I’d better tell Blue what’s going on. “Your mom and I are no longer together” I told her once I was in her bedroom around 8pm. "You probably noticed that she moved out weeks ago and I know you blame me for it and for that I am sorry”. She had yet to look at her me, so I continued talking “I won’t stop you from having a relationship with them” she looked at me and said “doesn’t matter anyway, mom has yet to call or text since she left. I don’t even know why I am still calling her that cause clearly she doesn’t see me as her daughter” she told me. After a while she spoke up, “I want to sleep” she pulled the duvet over her head. I let her be and left the room.

I was in my bed when I got a text from Onika.

I don’t think that will be necessary.


Five dreadful months being apart, I had fallen into a routine. Blue and work were the only thing keeping me from falling apart. I honestly thought Onika together with the kids were my world, but now it’s just the both of us like before.

While at work I got a call from the hospital, something to do approving payment of bills. When I got off the phone I was in disbelieve. The only thing running through my mind is ‘Papa is sick’, I had set up a medical aid for the kids including Onika. I left work in a hurry and drove to Medicare. I was so worried about Papa that I forgot everything that happened the past months.

Imagine my shook when I arrived at Papa's room to find Onika with a guy sitting next to her holdings hands. Maybe coming here was a mistake, “hi…” I greeted them, the guy stood
up to offer his hand but before he could say anything, Onika butted in “what are you doing here?”. 'What are you doing here’ that phrase made me feel out of place, like I wasn't welcomed.

I stood frozen, “I’ll be back”, Onika told the guy who I’ve come to recognize from her dad’s party. I
came to my senses as she dragged me out the door, I couldn’t even get a glance at Papa who was asleep on the hospital bed.

We made it to the parking lot without a word uttered, she wouldn’t even meet my gaze. “how did you know about Papa”? was that really her question?  Not one to pick a fight, I walked away without a word said. I got in the car and as I drove away I made a decision to never come before her ever again.

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