A month later
A lot of reshuffling in my company, I am a firm believer off awarding greatness and hard work. As such, my PA Kelly had been promoted to the HR department a week ago. I trust she finds me the best PA to take over from where she left. She had in fact mentioned interviews that were conducted and was busy screening the finalist. Since it was Friday, I’d
expect to meet my new PA Monday morning.
I had a blind date tonight, I finally caved. Rihanna is ecstatic and too be honest I’ve been single for the longest, 15 years to be exact. I quickly drove home to get ready, initially I thought it would be best for Blue to go for a sleep over but she was against it. I would come home after the blind
date; I just did not like the idea of her alone in the house.
I checked my phone and it was 7pm, 1 hour left, “who are you meeting all dressed up?” Blue asked while bagging in my room. Now wait a minute “what happened to knocking?” she rolled eyes and dropped dramatically on my bed “you look gorgeous ma”. I looked up at her reflection on the mirror “thanks love”. I stood up and eyed myself, I am a very natural person. Spotting my blonde curls that I tied in a neat bun, no makeup, wearing a jean and top with flat shoes.
“I’ll be back no later than 11pm okay?” she nodded, “my phone will be on, so call me if you need anything” she smiled. “yes ma, go have fun. I’ll be fine” I walked over to her and held her chin up “give me a kiss” I demanded, she kissed both my cheeks “have a great night” I nodded
and left. It looks like my date bailed, 20 minutes late. I looked at my phone again, no message or anything. I decided to wait 5 more minutes. She didn’t show up and deep down I was happy? Something must be wrong with me.
When I arrived home at around 9pm, I found Em still awake in my bed. “wow, that was quick” I took off my shoes “shut up” was my reply and she laughed. I disappeared in the bathroom for 15 minutes and got in bed with Em questioning me with her
eyes. “change of plans” I simply answered. I didn’t tell her I was going out on a date, she thought I was meeting a friend so I didn’t expect any more questions. She cuddled up to me and fell asleep.
Just as I was about to doze off I got a text.
Rihanna- how was it?
Me- no show
Rihanna- you joking?
Me- was probably for the best
Rihanna - did she say why?
Me- wouldn’t make any difference, good night.
Rihanna- good night.
Saturday morning came like a slap to my face. Except it was a real slap, “Blue!” I yelled and she groaned “I know you did not just slap me” all I heard was muffling from her. “this is the last time you sleep in my bed” that sure woke her up, “no, ma…” she gave me that innocent look and I made my way to the bathroom “sorry!” she yelled after me. At this point I am used to her antics, I must say it’s been a while. She used to kick me in her sleep frequently in her younger
years, don’t know where she got it from and definitely not me.
I came down to prepare breakfast only to find Blue eating cereal, so I joined her instead. As I settled next to her in the kitchen isle, I could tell something was on her mind. “where is my father?” I chocked on some cereal, this was the question I feared the most. What do you tell a child that they were conceived through IVF with a sperm donor and mostly I had no idea who her donor was? “Blue honey” I tried to come up with an answer. Sure she has the right to know my concern was how would she take it. “no ma, I deserve to know” she looked at me pleadingly. “Your father, I don’t know him” I needed to be honest with her, lying would only make things worse. A surge of determination to know who her father was would arise and disrupt our unit, I couldn’t have that. “what do you mean?” she pressed, I did plan on telling her the whole truth just not this soon. “Ask me when you are 16 and I will tell you everything” she looked down to her bowl and I
saw a lone tear drop, as I tried to reach for her she pulled away. You could hear my heart break, never had she pulled away from my embrace. She stood up and put her unfished cereal in the sink and ran upstairs
I ran after her, she locked her door before I could enter. “Blue please open up” I yelled softly, “leave me alone” I couldn’t do that. “love, don’t shut me out” she never replied, it was no use standing at her door room. I went to my bedroom and curled up in a ball. Tears soon followed, I didn’t
want her hating me for making one the best decisions in my entire life. I would do it again if it meant having her in my life. It is hard to imagine my life without her in it.
Throughout the day I thought to leave her alone and hoped she would come to me. I made up my mind to tell her the truth and prayed I wasn’t wrong for her sake. Now it was 7pm, I made
Lasagne for dinner and left plate in the microwave. I let her know outside her room, with no reply I made it to my bathroom. After getting ready for bed, with no sign of Blue in my room (I expected to find her in bed for some reason). I got in covers and checked my phone.
Rihanna- I found you someone else.
Me- things are not good right now.
Incoming call Rihanna…
I couldn’t talk about right now so I declined
Blue- I just want to sleep; we’ll talk some other time.
Rihanna- I understand. Good night.
But I couldn’t sleep, I stared at my bedside portrait of Blue. How I hope this doesn’t scar our relationship. I heard a soft knock “ma…” she got in bed with blood shot eyes. The sight hurt me, no mother wants to see their child cry and certainly not because of them. I opened my arms and this
time she welcomed me. In a tight embrace, I rocked her while she cried. “I’m so sorry” she nodded, “the truth is, I don’t know your father because you were conceived through IVF with a sperm donor” I took deep breath and awaited her reaction. “I figured that much” she replied. After a minute or so she continued, “why IVF?” what a question and she expected an answer. “I’ve always wanted a child and it seemed like the best idea”, and it truly was. “I love you Blue and I would do anything for you. How do you feel?” she breathed out and said “I love you too, I was just curious about who my father was. I knew you wouldn’t keep them away from me if they were around” I kissed her temple. What an eventful day and night and boy was I glad we sorted
things out. I think I’ve done a decent job in raising her.
