I stirred and tried to stretch my body in the morning only to be pulled closer by Beyonce who seemed to be half asleep. "Bey... I gotta get up and prepare breakfast" she paid me no mind and carried on holding me. 'Such a big baby' I thought to myself. "Papa is calling for you" that woke her up, Papa will forever be my ammunition.
I got up to do my morning routine and when I got done, she was still in bed going through her phone. "Morning..." she looked up, "Nika morning...how did you sleep?" I sat on the bed "like a baby... you?" she smiled "great, I should get ready" She fixed the bed after pulling me up and went to the bathroom, I followed behind "are you leaving already?" she looked up from the mirror "yes..." it was awkward, truth is I wanted her to stay without having to ask.
At least she ate breakfast with us but had to leave soon after. Papa would be staying behind, he was not happy about that. I wonder what was so important because she always takes Papa with her on Saturdays.
To my surprise she came back later at night, "hi Bey" I let her in the house, the kids were sleeping. She got in and after I locked the door, she hugged me, my first instinct was to smell for any hint of alcohol and it didn't seem like she had been drinking, which was a relief. But something was definitely up. "are you okay?" she nodded and said "let's go to sleep" I led her to my bedroom.
Once we settled in bed, I searched for her eyes, she looked like she had been crying. So I embraced her as she laid her face on my chest "Bey... whats going on?" I pulled her closer "please forgive me" she said, "what is this about?" I asked puzzled "forgive me for everything I put you through, for putting my hands on you, the hurt and pain I put you and the kids through. All the things I said when I was heated. The disrespect I put you through. Failing to be everything I promised to be. Dragging you to the place you spent trying to escape. I have no excuse for my actions Onika, I am at your mercy asking for forgiveness. I hope one day when you look at me, my face doesn't remind you of what you been through, it may sound selfish but Onika I want you to heal. Not for me but for yourself. I want this for you, you deserve so much and more and if I can't give you that, I'd rather see you get it from someone else than to not experience the love and care that you deserve." I couldn't help the tears falling out as I listened to this woman's heartfelt plea for forgiveness. "I forgive you" with no words spoken after we fell asleep.
Sunday morning I woke up to an empty bed, after my morning routine I when to the kitchen and imagine my surprise when I found everyone including Blue who seems like she slept the night her given the pyjamas she had on, all of them preparing breakfast. They had yet to notice me, Bey appeared to be in good spirits as she helped Papa fry eggs. Rumi was preparing the table, I had to stifle a laugh, that girl can't cook at all, her and Beyonce are just the same, it's crazy how she is just like Beyonce and sometimes it does scare me, not in a good way. That's a story for another day.
"Morning..." I made my presence known. Bey moved Papa away from the stove and came up to me. She hugged me and kissed my forehead "morning Tanya" I glared at her and playfully pushed her. Soon after the kids all came to hug me, what a way to start the morning and breakfast was even great.
Sundays are for lazying around, everyone went on about their way after breakfast, while Beyonce and I found ourselves in my bed just watching some reruns. We were in one episode where the focus was on marriage, Beyonce seemed into the plot and I would steal glances as the bride and groom got married. I asked myself silently if I'd ever get married and who would I get married too.
"Bye guys, be good, see you next weekend" Beyonce told the kids after Sunday lunch, Blue would be spending the night.
"Can't you stay over?" I asked desparately as I followed her to the car "Sorry Nika, I got an early meeting". She noticed the pout on my face "how about you come with me?" It still works huh?. I mean Blue is here so I quickly nodded. "let me prepare some change of clothes and let the kids know"
"You had the house built" was the first thing I said "that I did, come let's get ready for bed" it was just after 7pm.
After taking a shower I found her in bed already in her night wear, I could feel her eyes on me as I moved around, I was wearing pyjama shorts and they were tight, I didn't think about that when I rushly packed an overnight bag.
I got in bed with her and sent a good night text to the kids.
"What time do you have to be up tomorrow?" she put her phone down and cuddled me. "by 6am I need to be out the house, why?" I nodded "I want to make you breakfast and lunch " she smiled "you don't have too but I'll appreciate it if you do".
"Beyonce...." I called to see if she was still awake. "mmm...?" she's awake but sleepy. "what is this?" the way we fell back to normal without talking things through concerned me. "what do you mean Nika?" I sat up and she mirrored me. "what are we?" she was silent for a minute then spoke "what do you want us to be?" she ain't slick turning this on me. "do you still love me?" I took another angle, "Nika, I know what you are doing, you want to know if there's a chance between us without having to say anything about your feelings out loud with fear that I might not want the same" she knows me too well, I nodded. "you have my heart always, no matter how much I try to move on, my heart always leads me home. I want you, I need you and ask of you to be in my life as more than a mother to my kids. I want you as a lover, girlfriend, partner, best friend, soul mate and more. Give me a chance to do right by you, to love, hold and cherish you. If I could have anything, let it be your heart. I'm not good with words Nika, give us a chance?" I was beaming with happiness cause this is what I wanted to hear. I kissed her lips and for the first time in months I felt home. She pulled me on top of her without breaking our kiss, "mmm... baby..." she spoke in between kisses, but I didn't stop. We only stopped to catch our breath, she has a meeting in the morning after all.
When I woke up I heard the water running, I should probably fix her breakfast. I got out of bed and went to the bathroom, I slightly knocked and got in. "Morning" she was getting out the shower, so I handed her a towel, "baby, what are you doing up this early?" she pulled me closer with one hand and hugged me, she's always been a hugger. "I said I'd fix you breakfast, let me wash my face and get started" she smiled, kissed my forehead and let go.
I watched her as she ate with my back against the fridge drinking coffee, she looked hot in her suit. I put the cup in the sink and went to stand between her legs, she had just finished eating. "what time are you knocking off?" I fixed her shirt "I'll be back after my meetings, probably around 2pm" I smiled "great, hurry back okay" Good thing in was summer holidays, the kids were home, Blue was on a semester break and didn't mind staying with her brother and sister. So I'll extend my stay with Beyonce.
We have a lot of catching up to do.
