The week went by uneventful, just the same routine daily. It was my weekend with the kids and decided to go out for shopping. Blue couldn't make it as she had plans with her boyfriend.
Papa forgot all about Ciara to my relief. Beyonce was radio silent, even Rumi asked me if she was busy with work. That made me slightly mad, she better not be deserting my kids after what she, we put them through.
Shopping was great, the kids enjoyed every moment.
That very Saturday late night Beyonce called me and told me to open the door. I got out of bed to check the camera, there was an unknown car pulling away while she stood by the garage door.
"what are you doing here?" I asked on the phone, "open up..." she sounds drunk. I opened for her and she got in. "What's the meaning of this?" she just kept quiet and went up to my bedroom. She was about to get in my bed but I stopped her "absolutely not! I don't know where you've been, you can't just get in my bed like that." She went to my bathroom and I heard the water running. Is she serious? I asked myself.
She came out in my bathrobe "give me some clothes to sleep in" I couldn't believe my ears. "Get the fuck out of my house Beyonce with that disrespect, I don't care whether you are drunk or not. Leave before you wake the kids up". "stop being a bitch and let me sleep I'll leave first thing in the morning" I slapped her without resolve, how dare she call me that?!
What happened next was a blur, she grabbed me by my throat and slammed me against the wall. I tried to remove her grip but she was just too strong. Her eyes were dark and void, I tried not to scream afraid to wake the kids up. I heard a knock on the door and Beyonce quickly let go, I tried to look like nothing happened but Rumi is smart so I ran to the bathroom before she could get in.
"Ma, when did you get here? Where's mom?" I heard with my ear against the door "she is, umm in the bathroom. Why don't you go back to bed?", "alright night ma and kiss mom goodnight for me" she left soon after, but I couldn't get out of the bathroom.
I heard a knock "Nika please open the door" I wouldn't dare "no, leave my house Beyonce" I tried to sound unafraid. "are you afraid of me, I didn't mean to put my hands on you?" I kept quiet "okay I'll go" she said after.
After minutes of silence I got out and she was nowhere to be seen. I went to check on the kids and I found Beyonce in Papa's room sleeping on the window couch. Not wanting to wake Papa, I let Beyonce be.
I broke down in my bed, and thought to myself 'I have created a monster'. I eventually fell asleep from exhaustion. It wasn't until I felt the bed move that I got up in panic and tried to shield myself from any beating, Beyonce saw the whole scene and stood frozen before saying "I'll go...".
That was the last I saw her, she never came back, nor fetch the kids. I had to make something up to save them from disappointment.
2 months later I got a call from Rihanna.
Rihanna- hey, I haven't seen nor heard from Beyonce in a month, is she with you?
Me- No, we are not together.
Rihanna- right, sorry for bothering you.
She dropped the call.
I tried to act like everything was fine, but between the kids asking me about Beyonce including Blue to Rihanna calling, it was alarming.
I tried calling her but got no response. I honestly had no idea where she could possibly be, cause even Blue said she was not at her place and seemed like no one had been there for a while.
2 weeks later she showed up at my doorstep. "Hi Onika" I wanted to shut the door but the kids were already wrapping her in hugs, even Blue. "where were you ma?" Blue asked her, "I'll tell you once I get settled" I watched in silence as she got in, I had yet to say anything and stood afar.
I guess she noticed how I distance myself and looked down in shame. I was in the kitchen preparing dinner when she came and asked "can I talk to you upstairs?" a part of me was bitter "why? So you can choke me and slam me against the wall?" she avoided my eyes. "I'm sorry-" I cut her off "save it, go be with the kids. I want nothing to do with you" she let me be and spent the rest of the evening with them.
Dinner was a mess, the kids kept questioning her. I excused myself in the middle of it all and went up to my room.
After some minutes I heard a knock and I said come in. To my surprise it was Beyonce," what do you want?" I asked harshly as I got up from the bed. "I just wanted to talk to you" I wanted nothing to do with her not after she brought me back to the place I had spent years trying to forget. "save it, you should go" I opened the door "damn it Onika!" it sent shivers down my spine and just as quickly she tried to apologise "Onika I..." I left the room and found the girls cleaning up, I joined them.
Once we were done we settled in the lounge and watched a movie.
"guys I should get going, it was good to see you" after saying their goodbyes Beyonce left without saying a word to me, which I was glad.
Before I went to sleep, I got a text from her.
Beyonce- I'll never come before you again but please I still need the kids in my life. Sorry for putting my hands on you. You don't have to worry about that anymore, I'll stay away. Again, I'm so sorry.
I didn't reply, I just wanted to forget everything.
True to her words, I never saw her again. It's been a month now, she never sets foot in my house even when dropping the kids off.
It was her birthday today and I declined the offer to go out with them, it was Blue who asked. She can probably see that things are sour between me and Beyonce. Sadly there's no going back.
She dropped them off the following day, she lingered outside but I never invited her in.
It wasnt until I got a call from the hospital, Beyonce was hospitalised. Too be honest, I went just to drop the kids. I couldn't let Blue drive after such news.
I got a slight glance of her in bed as I stood outside her room. The doctor got out and I followed her to ask what was wrong.
She seems to be stressed, her sugar levels are low and with the surgery she had before. She needs to take care of her health.
After what seemed to be forever, the kids were ready to go. Papa was already sleeping, I watched this through the window outside the room. Blue carried him from the bed and brought him to me.
I left the hospital without even saying anything to Beyonce. When we arrived home Blue was livid, I could tell by how she slammed the car door.
After putting Papa and helping Rumi to their rooms, I went to Blue's room.
"Do you have something to say?" I asked her and she got up from her bed "ma is sick, can't you put whatever is going on between the two of you just to be by her side? What has she done that you can't stand to be in the same room as her?" no matter how old or mature she is, I'd never tell her the truth. "Blue its no secret that your ma and I are not in a good place. Just focus on your self and your siblings and let us deal with our issues, okay?" she nodded and hugged me "I may not know what she did but I do know that she loves you, I hope you don't forget that" I only hugged her tightly, a part of me wanted to believe that. But not after what she did to me.
