True to her words, Beyonce visited Papa on days I didn’t. I always heard about it from Papa the following day. I was about to leave when the doctor asked to have a word with me. I sat in her office anxiously, “Its good news Miss Minaj” I breathed a sigh of relief. “We’ve found a donor who is a perfect match, they wish to remain anonymous. Here with me are all the necessary documents, I don’t mean to rush you but it’s important we get on with it. I’ll let you go through everything, all the risks involved and formalities for surgeries.” I couldn’t believe my ears, “I’m sorry but could I make a call?” I asked “sure go ahead” I left the room.
After the second ring she answered.
Me- Beyonce they found a donor for Papa
Beyonce- that’s great news, are you still at the hospital?
Me- yes
Beyonce- I’ll be there soon
I returned to the doctor’s office, “I’m waiting on her ma, I’ll go through the documents in the mean while.
Beyonce arrived way faster than I anticipated but didn’t question her. After the doctor told her everything she told me, we moved to Papa's room. The Surgery was scheduled for next month june. She offered to drive me home and I let her, I always took an uber to visit Papa. I couldn’t focus on the road, he was always on my mind.
I was just so happy from the news earlier that I asked Beyonce to stay a bit and to my surprise she agreed. The past 2 months we hardly talked just co-parented, as promised. She always made sure to fetch Rumi every weekend and the days I was at the hospital she would fetch her from school.
They seemed to be getting along pretty great, it was a different story with Blue and I. last thing I wanted was to disrupt her studies, time will heal all wounds was a lie I told myself
“Do you want anything to drink?” I asked Beyonce as I opened the fridge. It was Sunday, Rumi was at her place plus it was exam period so she went to school only when writing. “I’m good” she went to the lounge and laid on the couch, she must be tired. “Are you okay?” I asked as I sat by her
feet which were on the couch as well “just tired”. “Why don’t you rest in the bedroom and I’ll check on the girls”.
It was around 7pm and Rumi wasn’t answering her phone, she’s probably
watching sports. I decided to call Blue and to my surprise she answered.
Me- Hi Blue
Blue- hey
Me- how are you?
Blue- do you need something?
Me- Ma seems to be tired to drive back, she’ll stay the night. She’s asleep as we speak, are guys alright? Rumi is not answering my calls.
Blue- Ru is fine; she was studying earlier on but she is asleep now.
Me- and you?
Blue- I’ll let Ru know you called when she wakes up, bye.
Me- wait Blue…
Blue- yes?
Me- I… I love you…
After a few seconds she dropped the call, will things ever be okay? I asked no one.
After a shower I went to check on Beyonce, who was still asleep and could feel myself getting sleepy. A nap wouldn’t hurt, after hitting the pillow I immediately fell asleep.
I don’t know how long I was out, but I could feel someone holding me and remembered today’s events. I kept my eyes closed and pretended to be asleep. She gently caressed my check and kissed my temple “I’m sorry, I’ll fix this” she whispered, what is she sorry for? Fix what? She pulled me closer as if I wasn’t close enough, I ended up sleeping again.
I woke alone in bed, but could hear water running from the bathroom. I checked the time and it was just after 8, I was so hungry that my stomach growled. Beyonce came out of the bathroom “morning” she greeted, I was in a good mood this morning given the events yesterday. I got off
the bed to hug her, it felt good to have my face against her chest as she was taller. She put one hand around my waist and the other around my neck. We just stood there holding each other for what seemed like forever. “Are the girls okay?” I asked after a while and she said ‘yes’.
“I won’t be here for Papa’s surgery” Beyonce said as I washed the dishes, we had just had breakfast. I immediately stopped and looked at her across the kitchen,” what do you mean?” I wiped my hands and approached her. “I’ll be away on work” that made me upset, “is work more important than Papa?!” she said nothing and I was livid, “get out of my house!” I couldn’t believe her “if you can’t be there for his surgery, don’t bother showing up after” I slammed the door to her face.
I never heard from her again, however she still fulfilled her promises to Rumi. The day before
surgery arrived and Beyonce actually left for a conference. I couldn’t believe her and Blue was at my place. She had a fight with Beyonce days prior, I remember getting her call and had to do a double take on the screen just to make sure it was really her. She was in tears and all I heard was ‘mom
can I come over for the holidays’ despite our broken relationship, she still called me ‘mom’, there lied my hope.
The day of the surgery I was scared, I found myself in the bathroom of Papa’s hospital room crying. I tried calling Beyonce and both her phones were off, I had to be brave and strong for my boy.
My parents were in the waiting room, along with my sister and I joined them. Once the surgery started time seemed to pause and made think about my life up until this moment. Part of me hoped that Beyonce would walk through the door and hold me dearly promising me the moon and that everything will be alright and I’ll have my healthy baby boy back.
Hours went by and I anxiously waited with my parents next to me. Things with my mom had gotten better over the years, she was putting in the work to mend our relationship and I was
thankful. I remember her saying ‘for what it’s worth, Beyonce is an amazing woman and mother and if you ever get married I hope it’s her.’ that’ll never happen, not after today when I needed her the most and she chose work.
