Beyonce dismissed Blue and told her to stay with me, she was hurt more than anything. I didn't understand what was her reasoning and I was pissed beyond measure.
I went to her place only to find out she had moved, she wouldn't answer my calls. What about the the promise she made to Papa? he was breaking his heart again and this time I had had enough.
After a few weeks I called her friend Rihanna "hi, do you know were Beyonce is?" after a few seconds of silence she replied. "I'll send you her new address, if she asks it did not come from me" she dropped the call afterwards.
I finally reached her place, it was an apartment. But knowing her taste something was off. Rihanna had given me the access code.
I knocked first, to my surprise she answered the door in her Nike sweats. "hi..." she looked surprised. I got in without waiting for any reply. It did not feel homely, it was a bachelor, the only thing I saw was the bed and work desk.
"let me guess, Rihanna gave you my address. I need to have serious conversation with her" she sat down on the bed. "Beyonce I'm tired of always running after you, Papa is heartbroken again and so is Rumi and Blue, they don't deserve any of this" she looked at me quizzically "I don't know what you want me to say, honestly Onika what the fuck could you possibly want from me? Your constant appearance in my life is starting to piss me off, you said I should stay away from you and your kids, I did that. Then you come to my house uninvited doing all that crying shit talking about the kids want to see me, that could be true but stop using them for your selfish desires. We have broken up, a long time ago. Yeah we've fucked 1 or more times, but that's it. Get over yourself cause I'm clearly over this. Aren't you tired of always running after me. Like damn focus on yourself and the kids and leave me the fuck alone. I'm through with your confused ass, not knowing what the fuck you want, go be with your kids and leave me alone".
"I can't believe you just said all that to me?" she got up from the bed and stood in front of me "I don't give a fuck, my life doesn't revolve around you, you should leave before we do somethings we both will regret" I chuckled "gosh I am such a fool" I was now pissed "I don't care what you have to say about me, but I won't stand by and let you break the kids' hearts over and over again" I poked her chest as I uttered those words. She grabbed my chin "I'm breaking their hearts? Are you crazy? What about my heart, do you think I enjoy all of this? You have no idea what I am going through!" she let go not before pushing me back. I stumbled a bit and hit the back of the wall. I felt like crying and wanted to get out.
She came up to me and quietly rubbed the back of my head, the tears fell on their own. I wanted to push her but didn't. She lifted my chin up with her fingers. Before I could react her lips were on my mine, but I didn't kiss back it felt empty. She started undressing me and I know I should stop her but didn't. She lead me to the bed and laid on my back. She got on top of me and kissed me, this time I kissed back and everything that came after that was welcomed. How could my body betray my mind and heart like that.
After coming down from my high, I saw her get up and gather my clothes. "you should go..." I felt I was kicked in the gut. I took the clothes and started dressing while tears welled up in my eyes. She left for the bathroom. I waited for her to get out "still here?" she spoke those two words after coming out. I got so mad that I went up to her and slapped her.
She didn't react and I kept on hitting her chest which was just useless because there was no power behind the hits. She held my hands and hugged me, I let her. I had no fight left in, "I hate you..." I said between sobs "I know, I hate me too" I didn't mean it but went she said the same my heart dropped.
We ended up falling asleep, I woke up and it was dark outside. Realising that I didn't let the girls know I'd be back late. I immediately woke up and call Blue, who answered right away "hey, are guys okay?" it was just after 10pm. "yeah, Papa and Rumi are asleep told them you'd come back late, are you okay?" she asked concerned. "yes baby, something came up... Take care of each other okay?" I asked "we will, when are coming back?" it was Friday night, "tomorrow morning..." I looked at Beyonce beside me who was now awake. "okay, night mom..." mmm "night baby".
