Dawn of the Unconquered Sun (Part 8 of the Ignaius-Saga)

Limits

His earlier exchange with Vis felt like unfinished business. Talking to Variel had done a lot to clear up a few difficult points about the current situation, but what Vis had brought up ran deeper. Tanier put on his trousers and shirt and picked up a glas of wine, but didn't sit down and instead motioned Vis to follow him, when he went to another room. He didn't want to discuss any of this where Variel may be able to overhear them.

As soon as they were both sitting, he said: "Now that you know my answer - what is yours?"

Relaxed as ever, Vis sipped his wine and raised an eyebrow at Tanier's question. "My answer to what?" There were a couple of possibilities, but he was much too careful with his words - even though he didn't usually seem so - to just answer a question without knowing if it was the one Tanier had intended.

"To the question how to best deal with the fact that Variel will not make you stop. Or do you think he would be more inclined to stop you than me? Maybe his willingness to take anything, if only I ask him to, is even more pronounced, but I doubt the difference is a significant one. So how do you deal with it? And what do you think of my solution?"

Technically, this was a conversation they should have had months ago. It just never happened. He had asked Vis to respect Variel's limits when he had encouraged him to spend time with Variel. He had never asked Vis, how he would know about these limits. There were many things they had never explicitly discussed. But now that the question was out, he could not not have this conversation.

"I could not say if he would be more likely to stop me, but I am inclined to doubt he would at this point... unless something I ordered of him directly contradicted you. That has not happened yet, but who knows what the future may bring?" He shrugged, took a sip, then set his glass aside. "As for how I handle it, I suppose I merely watch him. I am good at reading people, and if I ever see that there is no pleasure, excitement, or arousal beneath any measure of pain, fear, or intense discomfort, I suppose I would know to stop. Variel may not seem very expressive to most, but if one knows what to look for, the boy is an open book."

Tanier wished he had the relaxed confidence that Vis had.

"Basically this is what I do. But I am constantly watching him for fear I may hurt him the wrong way. And I try to watch myself, something I often find more difficult. I get into a scene, just as he does. What I truly fear is that this will make it impossible for me to see, if I am going too far."

He already had his answer, and one he found satisfactory. He did notice that what he did now was pouring his heart out to Vis. Probably this was something he shouldn't do, but he just couldn't stop himself.

"Mm." It was a thoughtful noise and one made to acknowledge Tanier's words. He paused for a time, then gave his advice. "Perhaps Variel is not the only one who worries too much. Of course, I am not saying you should be careless, but if you are not doing anything you have not done before, it does seem safe to assume he can handle it." He reached over to pick up his wine glass again, taking a drink before adding, "And while this might not be what you want to hear, in his case, breaking his limits might sometimes be the only way to find them. If he will not tell us, we have no sure way of knowing. So long as you can know if it happens - even after the fact - and take care of him, I do not expect he would hold it against you."

Then, he cocked his head to the side. "Also, I have considered the possibility that he has no limits when it comes to you, and perhaps even me. That is probably not the best thing to assume, but given what we have learned about his power and how it relates to sex, I would not rule out the possibility."

"And if your last assumption is true, what is going to stop me, before I ruin him and myself?"

It had not been as clear to him before that searching for Variel's limits was exactly what he did. It was not all that he did. He still wanted to take care of Variel, find out his potential, make him happy and see him grow. Still the search for Variel's limits, thinking about new ways to test them, was one of his driving motivations. Under these circumstances the idea that maybe there was no limit was truly scary.