Dawn of the Unconquered Sun (Part 8 of the Ignaius-Saga)

Introductions

Buran stayed close to Variel, but didn't try to touch him again. He made friendly conversation, explaining on their way what they saw. Like all the houses of the coucilmen they had seen so far, this one easily rivaled a palace and they had to cross a large part of it until they entered the garden. It had all kind of plants and was arranged by regions. In every region there were plants as bis as trees down to flowers and hebs. Buran effectively gave Variel not just a tour of the graden, but of Aurora itself, by explaining about the different regions the plants have been collected from, sometimes adding a piece of history or listing the most important cities and their importance, or whatever it was that made the territory noteworthy in the general opinion.

With the distraction of discussing the different plants and the regions from which they came, Variel started to relax. He began to ask questions instead of simply taking in the information Buran freely gave, showing his genuine interest. Sure, it could all help them in their mission, but he did actually want to know beyond that. Variel also spoke more about The Realm when comparisons arose, reassured by the knowledge that Buran enjoyed hearing about other lands and that he probably wasn't boring the older man.

Buran didn't seem to be bored at all. He obviously liked asking and explaining alike. After a while of rather comfortable conversation he asked one of many questions about The Realm that was still a bit more personal: "I was wondering about one thing. You may be more of a shy person, but it is not just you. Almost everyone from The Realm seems tense most of the time, some are shy, some seem emberassed easily, I have seen some getting angry and I was wondering, if it may be, because what we consider normal ist just too close for them. But your king seems to be completely different. He seems to enjoy himself a lot and he is everything but shy. I would even call him daring. How is this possible? How can he rule these people, if he is not at all like them? How can they not be offended by their own king, if they seem to be offended by our nobles?"

Variel let out a slow breath, trying to think of how best to explain the situation. After a moment, he took a seat on a nearby stone bench.

"Yes, in general, our people are not as free or accepting of sexuality as the people here. We are all taught to control lust, to be formal with strangers, and that sex outside of marriage is irresponsible and inappropriate. Family names and bloodlines are important, and so children born out of wedlock are treated poorly. Laws and social norms are very strict on the subject of sex, and it is just something that is instilled in us from the time we are old enough to understand it."

He sat up a bit straighter and pushed his hair out of his face. "Things are different for our king, however. You may have heard of how he is presented with concubines each year, and during that year, it is his duty to get close to them, to know them intimately and otherwise. He does this in order to find them the best place within The Realm and secure fitting matches to strengthen the ties of nobility and the crown through marriage. He is the only person who is expected to be free with his sexuality, though not entirely free, of course. I think that - because of this - Tanier is just not affected by the discomfort most of the rest of us feel. He is accustomed to having relations with many different people and on a daily basis, so coming here, he gets to experience more without the added feeling of responsibility and duty."

Variel then gave a shy smile. "That is... my take on it anyway. I know it must be strange and difficult to understand for someone from Aurora."

"The whole concept of having a king is strange to us, to begin with. Or inheriting power through bloodlines, instead of giving power to those who proof to be worthy. But if you do it like this, it makes a certain sense to allow the king of all people to have as many women as he likes, for his bloodline is superior to anyone else's. So it is surely different from Aurora, but the more I learn the more I understand how some things that appear strange to me at first actually make sense. In general it is not surprising that different cultures have different norms. Still it is not necessarily easy to deal with these differences, even if you are not aware of them, like I didn't mean to offend you when touching you."

"No, it's... it's all right," Variel tried to assure Buran while also trying to reassure himself. "I wasn't offended, as I've been told about the customs and norms of your people. I know you meant no offense. I just... Well, I've always been even more isolated and... shy than most people from my homeland. It isn't as if I... um... dislike being intimate. It's just getting there that is difficult. It took me a while to get comfortable with Tanier's advances, but he never was one to let my discomfort come between us... so long as I wasn't actually unwilling. Since then, whenever I have been with anyone else, it has been by Tanier's suggestion or even order, and I find that easier... though it did take me some time to get over the dissonance of being with anyone else and enjoying myself at all."

He only realized then that he was saying some rather personal and private things. He blushed and almost apologized, but caught himself in time. To him, it was personal and private, but to an Auroran, it was probably nothing out of the ordinary to discuss.

"And again I managed to make you uncomfortable! Here are a few hints you might find helpful: It is absolutely acceptable to express a sexual interest in another person in Aurora. It can even be considered rude not to under certain circumstances. So there are conventions on how to make, turn down or accept an offer. Of course an offer can be made like people seem to do it everywhere: By looking at the other, by insinuating something or by touching the other and you accept by reciprocating in kind. Not reciprocating is usually understood as a no. But there are also more formal ways - and more polite options to turn someone down. The most common way to ask is 'May I share your company?'. If you really want just company, you best use what you really want to do, like 'Would you enjoy a conversation?' or 'Would you like to take a walk?'. Of course it is possible to ask about company again later. Now this is also one possibility to let people politely know that you are not interested. If someone asks, if you would enjoy their company, you could answer with: 'I may enjoy having tea with you.' And this would let the other person know that you want nothing but that. Or rather nothing sexual. It is also considered polite, because you are not downright turning away the other person, but show some appreciation. And the other person can politely bow out by saying he or she is not interested in this particular activity at this time. It is usually expected that you would offer some form of company or intimacy. At least it is the polite thing to do. Of course sometimes you will just want to say 'No, thank you.' You may be busy or really not ready to offer anything. It depends a lot on the situation. If a stranger asks you in public, you are always welcome to say 'no thank you'. But if, for example, you are guest and host, it would be considered rude. Note that you could also define a limit at this point. Sometimes you just don't want to go all the way. Or there are people you would not mind hugging, but making love to them is out of the question. So you could also offer a more intimate activity like 'I would indeed appreciate some cuddling' and this would define your current limit. Of course there are more conventions and finer details, but this is some basic stuff that will help you. In general, people are rather open, so if in doubt, just clearly say what you want. So - would you enjoy my company?"

Variel took in this information as attentively as the rest. Knowing what certain phrases meant in such a foreign place would be useful, lest he accept something without understanding what it meant. Learning polite ways to refuse or accept with conditions was also important.

However, when Buran asked the question which Variel now completely understood, it was made clear that knowing how to accept or decline didn't make the process easier for him to actually do. Buran couldn't possibly understand this about him, understand what Tanier himself had taken time to figure out. Refusing felt wrong because Variel was well aware of how much he actually enjoyed sex once things got started, but consenting also felt wrong for reasons he himself didn't really understand entirely. The barrier seemed completely illogical and he had a counter for every one of his own excuses. So, it made absolutely no sense why he was sitting there with his lips parted and a look of utter indecision on his face.

A little voice piped up from a corner of his mind.

"Because giving consent takes half the fun out of it for you. You want to be taken by a stranger who doesn't care whether or not you want it."

Variel winced and swallowed before pulling in a breath. He just needed to dive in and see what happened. Tanier was probably already well into his 'company' with the two girls, and Variel saw no reason why he shouldn't accept. "I... Y-yes, I... I think I would enjoy your company... Buran..."

The other man smiled.

"Now this wasn't so hard."