Twisted Gems

Decisions Decisions

 I've been trying to fall asleep for the past two hours but I just can't. Just when some of my anger leaves my body, it comes back because people I thought would show up for me just don't. I tried to dwell on the positives of my birthday evening: I got gifted a shit ton of cash from my parents, aunts, and uncles. I got a fitbit, some gift certificates, perfume sets, gift cards, and headphones. Justin and I are a thing now. We definitely shoulda gotten our act together a bit sooner, but I'm glad we did. Even after all of that, I couldn't shake the fact that my own sister didn't even acknowledge the day I came into this world. 

Flashback to spring break, Onya is eavesdropping outside Annette's room

 I was going downstairs to go get a snack when I heard my sister talking to someone on the phone. "I'm just spending sometime with the fam. We just came back from Siesta key. You should've seen the way the waves pounded Deon and Amari. It was so funny. I know, I miss you too babe. I'll be back in Charlotte soon. Alright, I'll talk to you later. Bye." I knocked on her door a few times before she yelled "Come in!"

"Babe, huh? I'm glad to hear that you moved on from Jerome." "Actually that was Jerome." "Jerome? As in Jerome Tyson?! Annie, you can't be serious." "I'm serious as that pimple on your face." I immediately went to touch my face and felt a bump on my chin. "Must be PMSing...don't you try and change the subject! When did you start talking to him again?" "A few days ago. He called to say that he's sorry and he misses me." "So is that supposed to absolve him of everything he's done to you?" "You're bound to make mistakes in a relationship. I know he loves me."

"If he loved you, he wouldn't lie to you. If he loved you, he wouldn't need to scam people just so he can take you out on dates. If he loved you, he wouldn't have cheated on you. TWICE!" "Keep your voice down, I don't want the rest of the family to hear us." "Probably because you know you sound pathetic." "You see this is why I don't tell you anything anymore. All you do is judge me and other people." "For good reasons." "And you have the nerve to call me pathetic when you're the same one who expected a guy who barely knows you to fall head over heels for you. One date and you think you're in a relationship. He dodged a bullet anyway."

"I'd rather be delusional than deal with a scammer. All he's ever done was make a mess of your life. You even lost your Bright Futures scholarship because you failed most of your classes once you two started dating." "Lee's flat tummy teas is a legit business Onya." "No it's not, it's a pyramid scheme! And you really wanna focus on that instead of the other things I said. He's not good for you, Annette." "And you falling for any guy that gives you attention is? Please miss me with that bullshit."

"What bullshit? Having standards?" "No of you thinking you're better than everyone else. You think you're better just because you never dated anyone, done drugs, or been to social events. Newsflash girl, you're not. You're just a stuck-up, insecure, jealous, wretched weirdo who no one outside our family will ever love." Tears started to form in my eyes and my throat started to hurt. "You don't mean that.", I say shakingly. "I meant every word.", she says nonchalantly. "Now get out of my room." " Fine. If you wanna go back and let Jerome destroy your life, so be it. But I won't be the one to put you back together when he breaks you.", I finish before slamming her door.

4 months later, Present day

It's October. The month where fall actually starts to feel like fall, when Homecoming week takes place, and when the counselors start pulling us out of class for our senior meetings. When I walked into my African American studies teacher Mrs. Wilson's class, she had a whole bunch of Black Panther themed stuff all over her classroom. I don't know if it's because she's a huge Marvel fan or we're doing a unit based on that.

All this stuff was reminding me of when me and my family went to go see Black Panther last year. We saw it over Spring break and surprisingly we were able to avoid spoilers even though the movie was out for over two months. At least we saw it before Infinity war came out. I was thinking the same courtesy would be extended to Infinity war but it wasn't. The first thing I heard when I got to school that day was how Spider-Man and Black Panther died. The "Mr. Stark, I don't feel so good memes were haunting me for weeks."