Only the Brave

Chapter 54: Messes of Men

He's losing his mind.

James glances around his living room, at the tired faces and drawn mouths—all tension and no words—and thinks he's going to finally break. The silence is oppressive. It coats every inch of this room, thick and sticky like tree resin. Silence like this is dangerous. Poisonous. It gives James space to think, and he doesn't want that because the panic in his head is scratching at the insides of his skull and setting his every nerve on edge.

His lungs shrivelled up and died about two hours ago. His gut is a ball of nerves ricocheting inside his torso, bouncing around with nausea, a thing made of heavy lead. Sweat plasters his hair to his neck and runs down his back. He's certain he stinks. No one has said anything or complained, though. 

A part of him wants to start laughing hysterically, because this is crazy. Another part of him wants to do something. Anything. He keeps getting up and pacing, sitting back down and bouncing his knee, wriggling his hands together. Since Pandora left the manor as abruptly as she arrived, claiming she was going to look for Sirius, James has stress-cleaned the kitchen and re-arranged the three bookshelves in the living room.

He wants to feel helpful. Wants to take action.

Most of all, James just wants answers.

There are none.

Putting a tentative hand on Dorcas' shoulder, Marlene says gently, "Should you try to get some sleep?" It's said carefully. Slowly and quietly. Because Dorcas has been a little feral since she arrived at Potter Manor several hours ago. "It's almost dawn. Maybe just a power nap, babe?"

Shaking her head minutely Dorcas stays where she is. Where she has been since around two am, give or take. On the sofa, sitting down with her hands clasped one her lap, back ramrod straight. She hasn't moved, like she thinks her focus can help fix whatever the hell is happening that James doesn't know about.

James knows very little.

This is what he has so far:

Pandora had a very bad feeling about Regulus and came to the Manor looking for James and Sirius. When she didn't find Sirius, she left again, promising to be back as soon as possible. Before she left, she asked that Dorcas be informed something is wrong and called to the Manor.
Dorcas came to the Manor, curious but relaxed, and then suddenly, without warning, proceeded to break the fuck down. Just lost her shit. Completely and loudly. On her knees, screaming and crying incoherently. James is pretty sure she cried Regulus' name at some point, but he hasn't dared approach the subject. A little while after her breakdown, Dorcas moved to the sofa and went non-verbal. Nobody understands why or what happened. Dorcas won't tell. She hasn't moved an inch since.
It's almost dawn and neither Pandora nor Sirius have come back or made contact with any of them.
That's it. That's the extent of the information James has and he's not coping well with it. With the uncertainty. Did something happen to Regulus? If so, why wouldn't Pandora recruit more people instead of less? Where are they? Did she find Sirius?

"Hey," Lily says, pushing herself up from the armchair and coming to stand close to James. "I know you're worried, but you've been up all night. If you don't rest, you won't be able to go out on assignment this evening."

"There's no way I'm going to manage to sleep," James admits, rubbing a hand over his tired eyes. "And I can't take a potion. I need to be alert in case they need me."

"Where are they? What is happening?" Marlene asks, groaning. "I'm so confused."

The three of them glance at Dorcas to see if she has any reaction or insight to offer, but she doesn't. She doesn't look up. Doesn't speak. All she does is wait in silence, eyes on the wall, intent and fierce. James is, admittedly, a little creeped out by this. He has never seen Dorcas so still. So solemn.