Only the Brave

Chapter 33: The Basilisk

Interlude: Sirius POV

In the most un-Gryffindor-esque display of cowardice ever known to man, Sirius has gone out of his way to avoid Remus for the past couple of days. This has been, admittedly, rather difficult because all Sirius wants is to kiss him again. Except, Sirius needs to figure out where they stand before that can happen and that's the part he's struggling with.

Apparently, Remus is on some level attracted to Sirius after all. Despite everything. And Sirius, who is weak and selfish, took advantage of that because he couldn't not. Except shagging Remus was a terrible mistake, because Sirius had only just come to terms with the fact that he'd never have him again, only for his world to be realigned once more.

Sirius has no idea what to do with any of it. He wants Remus more than he's ever wanted anything or anyone. But he's painfully aware of what he did to him. How he let the darkness win, take a bite out of him and drive him to betraying his friend.

Remus might be happy to fool around with Sirius from time to time but there's no way in Merlin's green Earth that he could want more. There's just no way Remus could ever reciprocate Sirius' feelings after what he did, even if he found it in him to forgive him. Could he?

He's still ruminating James' advice—that he simply tell him how he feels—but Sirius couldn't possibly act on it on or right around Valentine's Day. The implications of that would have been too much to handle for either party.

So, like the imposter he is (because if he were a true Gryffindor he'd be a lot braver) Sirius made himself scarce on Tuesday, and again on Wednesday (the dreaded date), and on Thursday. He knows, because James came back to the dorm on Wednesday very late at night smiling like a besotted idiot, that his date with Regulus was a success. At least one of the Black brothers has managed to figure out the whole relationship thing.

With a sigh, Sirius glances at the map spread open before him on his bed. Remus is in a prefect meeting with Lily discussing only Merlin knows what. Peter is with Olive in the library, but they're moving which tells Sirius they'll be here soon. It is close to curfew. James is with Silverwood out on the Quidditch pitch, running a special session with the seeker because she's trying to learn a new move. He knows they got special permission to stay out a little later—Captain privileges.

Sirius notices that Regulus is in the Astronomy Tower all by himself. Without giving a second thought to his impulse, he gets up and throws one of Remus' thick sweaters over himself, pocketing the map and borrowing James' cloak.

Why is Regulus all alone in the Tower? People only go there to hook up or have difficult chats, both of which you need a second person for. This feels a lot like Regulus is brooding.

What the fuck does Regulus have to brood about? 

Things are going really well between them, James says. Sirius can't get rid of the nagging feeling on the back of his head that tells him to be a bit more cautious, but he gave James his warning. That's all he can do, he thinks. Besides, it is possible that James' relentless optimism and unwavering loyalty will be what finally gets Regulus to leave for good.

It stings, because Sirius can't pretend he's not jealous James seems to be succeeding where he failed, but if it gets Regulus out, then Sirius won't be bitter about it.

Sirius only hesitates when he reaches the Tower itself and sees Regulus sitting by the railing, legs dangling. He's clutching a black notebook like he can't decide whether to just throw it into the night.

Scuffing his feet on the floor on purpose, Sirius takes a step closer. Regulus tucks the notebook into his robes, then turns to glare at the intruder. When their eyes lock, Sirius glimpses a flicker of relief in Regulus' gaze.