Fresh Hope

16 Let it go

Making a fort in your bed is what you want.
That's your goal.
Opening the door to your suite, the lights are off. Thank fuck.
Entering your room, there's a small light on, and Lee's in your bed.
She hears you come in. You break down in her arms. Your beautiful friend, she just holds you and let's you get it out.  Lee doesn't ask any questions.  It takes you about an hour to get your shit together.
She's patient.
Once the tears stop. She give you a squeeze and says. "Feel better?".

You tell her everything. How you and he became friends. How it had been pure sexual tension from the get go and how you walked out of his room. You don't leave anything out.

"Wow"

"You really love this kdrama life you have. I'm going to have to get a subscription."
You roll your eyes at her, you haven't made it easy for yourself so she is kind of right.
"Well, what do you want now? I mean, how do you expect things to play out?" It's a good question, and she's never been one to mince her words. She doesn't give you the answers either. A true friend. Its then she says. "If I have to go whoop his ass I will. But you have to take a minute, really think about your next steps."
You guys discuss it from every angle. Are you being too sensitive? Is he being too needy, do you want to be friends, could you try add the benefits part? Long distance is hard. "He is not Dj, so don't even put them in the same category, from what I've heard DJs dick was all but drawn on, at lease his was real" a ring of laughter bursts from your lips.
"I love you," you tell her.
"I love you too, but you need to figure it out. Do you think that maybe you should talk to him? But like later, when the dust has settled a bit!"
You know your going to have to sort it out. Your not looking forward to it but you do need to clear the air. If not for your sake, but for Nicole's, you don't want any of this to affect her.

You both fall asleep.

His  p.o.v

'I should talk to her. I shouldn't have let her leave like that. I shouldn't have got angry. It was only a little bit though why is she so sensitive. Fuck she's got you talking to yourself'. 

Picking up your phone.
Ring ring.

"Hi, sorry, are you still awake? Good, can I come see you, I need to explain something" A quick wash and you throw on some clothes and head out of your room.

Tap tap.

"Hey bro, what up? I was just working on some beats" welcomes Nam.

"Good, good. If your busy It's kl, I mean if your flowing" Hoseok says.

"No, I was stuck at a bit. What's up? You look like shit."
Hoseok fills his best friend in. From when he met you again in LA until you bumped into him in the hotel café. He knows his brother has been looking at you and doesn't want to rub his nose in it,  but he needs advice. For now he will keep it pg.

"Aw man, so what's the problem?, is she interested or, is she interested in someone else." You can hear the hope in his voice. Still you don't have the heart to tell him.
Its not the right time you tell yourself.
"Nam, all I know for sure is, that she was only offering friendship. I told her I wanted more but I could wait. Coz I would rather be her friend and  see her happy than to fuck her and see her sad, you know! Like I want her in my life, she's different for anyone I know."
"Bro, look, if all she wants is friends then leave it at that. But, She was sitting kind of close to you today and was watching you a lot tonight. Maybe she does want more. You should just talk to her about it?"

He's right you should talk to her. Shit, your gonna have to add a little more of the truth.
" we have slept together," Nam's chin disappears, he's annoyed by this  information
"like side by side, back in LA. We flirt on call and we have gotten comfortable around each other."
Nam's listening but you can tell he is pissed.
"Hyung,  just tell me, have you kissed her? You have known her longer, well more, so you know her more"
You avoid his stare, but nod and then look at him "Yeah bro, back in LA and then again here"
Nam holds his emotion as best he can. He thinks, 'maybe I didn't really have a chance with her'.
"Hyung, why do you feel you have to hide stuff from me, yeah I'm interested in her but you know if things between you two are further developed then I'm not gonna push it". Nam's still hoping it was just a kiss.
"Fuck, bro, she just left mines after an argument. I don't know if we are just meant to be friends and maybe we pushed it too far. I don't know."

"What was the argument about. If it's something small then you can talk it over a coffee and that will be the end of it.!" Nam says this but inside he wants it to be something huge, so that maybe he can be the one she turns to. He feels really shitty now.
"It was something bigger, maybe I should have gone to someone else. You like her and maybe you cant give me impartial advice." Hoseok gets up, running a hand through his hair. "Look, thanks for listening to me, I'm gonna try get some sleep. We have a sound check tomorrow."
You walk to the door. Nam calls after you to say goodbye.

Back in your room.
'Well that was helpful! Not. Fuck I should have just spoken to her, not involve someone else.'
Your phone beeps.
New text message.
Hoping that it is you he jumps to read it.
"Hey, I will be arriving in the city tomorrow, what times your schedules. I really can't wait to see you. Its been a long time. I'm so excited to spend my birthday with you. I love you".
You forgot she was coming. Her birthday is on the 3rd and you missed it last year.
Shit, now you have to sort a gift for her. You love her and miss her but really all he wants it to be with you. To hold you. I will speak to her tomorrow, get Nicole to bring her down or something. I can fix this.  I really shouldn't have said it was just sex. That was a dick move. I hope that i can get a chance to explain. These thoughts run through his head for a while until he falls asleep.