Fresh Hope

27 in it together

It's almost 3:30.
The hotel is quiet, and again, shoes off when you get out of the car.
You've had a brilliant night with your girls, and you feel lighter than you have in a long time. Walking through the hotel to the elevators, you take one last picture.  It will be fun to look back and see how your night looked through sober eyes.

You have lots of messages and missed calls. You had put your phone on silent because you had made a promise to be more present with the girls.
The last msg that came in was from Hoseok.

"I know."
That's it. You're sober and about to vomit.  You feel like the elevator is crashing downwards at a rapid pace. The air leaves your lungs, and you have to hold on to the wall for support.
'Fuck, did Jin tell him, what did he say, why did he only send that.'
Lee noticed your mood change. "What's up?"
"He knows,"
Perry and Jade both look at you. "Shit, you think he's mad?"
" Call him" they say.
Walking to the suite now with a growing panic.

Both Perry and Lee repeat what they said before. You are not dating him and he had made you feel rejected. But it's Jade you look at, "he deserves more, I should have been more honest with myself, if I hadn't kept telling myself that I only wanted to be his friend, if I had just let myself explore the possibility that it was more, I wouldn't have been open to Jin. It was so wrong" she hugs you and the others join in. Standing there for a few moments. You gather yourself. "Right, let me put these shoes away and get out of this dress, I will call him"

The suite is exactly as you left it. Dress bags over the back of one of the sofas, champagne bottles and glasses on the table. The only thing that's different is Hoseok sitting at the table.

He gets up and greets everyone.
"Happy new year ladies. How was your party? You all look so beautiful."
The girls try not to act suspicious but fail miserably. They walk towards Perry's room and close the door. They start to play music to give you a little more privacy.
He walks over to you, reaches out his hand and brings your closer to him. "You, you are the prettiest though. He kisses your forehead."
Your minds doing over time and it's not good for your alcohol filled blood. Dropping the shoes you take a step back.
"Thank you for saying that."
"Sweetie, I think we need to talk" he says calmly. Still holding your hand and smiling.   He walks you to your room.

Saying nothing else.

"Hoseok..." but he stops you, and sits you down on the bed. He sits on the chair.
Taking measured breaths, he looks at you with those beautiful eyes. "Sweetie, I know about the Jin! What I would like to know is how it happened. From your perspective. Please."

'Why is he so calm, is he not bothered and just wants me to acknowledge it?'

"Hoseok, it shouldn't have happened, I'm sorry that it did." You look at him, but he gives you nothing back, he just keeps looking at you with the same expression.
"I could go on about how you had hurt me, and that I felt rejected and worthless. I could say that 'we aren't even dating, so what's the big deal? That it could have been anyone, but the fact is. I kissed him back. I'm sorry."
"Sweetie, my brother told me about the kiss at dinner a few hours ago. There were some fireworks at that table, I can tell you. There were punches and insults thrown around."              He's not touched you since he placed you on the bed. You feel so far from him.

'If she reaches out to me I don't think I will be able to stop myself, but I'm doing so well. Let her squirm. She was touched by your brother and it caused a fight, just wait'
Hoseok really has to focus.
"Punches, fuck are you ok" you stand up to get a better look at him. He let's out a dry laugh, "not me, my brothers, sit down"
You do. Your feeling even more guilty. The members have argued and someone has been hit. Shit, this is a nightmare. 'Fuck  they know, they know about you and Jin, about you and Hoseok?'