Abhirohi ff: Love & Friendship

6

❖Chapter 6❖

"Why is time always slow when you need it to pass quickly?" Akshara pondered as she waited for her appointment.

"Mrs. Sharma," the receptionist announced, signalling her turn.

Rising from the sofa, she strode towards Dr. Kapoor's office.

"Good Afternoon, Akshara. How have you been? It's already been six months since our last meeting. The last time we spoke, you were pregnant. How's the newborn?" Dr. Kapoor gestured for her to sit and relax on the couch.

Akshara settled into the familiar couch with nervousness and comfort, embracing it as she went for another therapy session.

"I'm good, Dr. Kapoor, and Ranav is great. He is growing quickly." Her baby was already three months old. She felt as if it were yesterday when she found out she was pregnant with him. Time flies by.

"For my improvements in the past months, my panic attacks' frequency has decreased, but postpartum depression is knocking me down."

Dr. Kapoor listened to what her patient had to say.

Akshara continued, "In the homework you gave me, I wrote out the emotions I felt when Abhimanyu and his family blamed me for Neil's death, and when Aaru blamed me for his death. The conclusion I came up with is... I also feel I'm the reason for his death. That's why their words were affecting me and triggering my panic attacks." Her words were chosen with every thought about what she was pouring into her therapy session.

"It's good to see that you've recognized the problem. From what you've told me about the incident, what happened wasn't your fault. You wanted to help those children out. You did what you thought was right at that moment, and it's commendable. Can you walk me through the process you came up with to reach this conclusion?" Dr. Kapoor acknowledged her feelings and her vulnerability.

Akshara took a deep breath and recalled her writing session, "Jab main woh baatein recall karke likh rahi thi, tab mujhe guilt mehsoos hua ki agar main us din ghar se bahar nahi nikli hoti. Agar maine Abhimanyu ki baat sun li hoti, to shayad Neil aaj zinda hota. Mera ek baby is duniya ko chhod ke nahi jata. Mujhe Abhimanyu aur mere divorce se koi problem nahi hai... ab. I married again, and I love my husband. I know my relationship with Abhimanyu was toxic. We were infatuated with each other, and I loved the idea of getting married, not knowing how much responsibility it comes with. Maine toh apni behen ki shaadi tak tod di thi."

Her eyes watered. Dr. Kapoor gave her a tissue box to wipe her tears. Taking a tissue, she wiped her tears away and continued the conversation.

"We were in our honeymoon phase. It was... lovey-dovey and all, but when the phase passed, we were hooked with responsibilities. You need respect, trust, and time in a relationship. But all we had was romance, sex, and a little respect for each other. What I didn't understand was that sex is a part of a relationship but not the whole of it.  We never got the time to build trust and respect for each other and to deepen our love. As time passed by, the love I had for him faded away, and Abhinav made me fall for him irrevocably. I'm so glad to have him as my husband and the father of our children."

Dr. Kapoor set aside her diary in which she took notes on the session on the side table and said, "It's okay to feel that way. You've gone through a lot and let me tell you one thing. You, coming to this realizing that you need to seek therapy and acknowledging your emotions is a big step. Kudos to you for that. Now what you need to do is... work on reframing your thoughts. Instead of focusing on what wasn't in your control, think of the girls you saved that day. You were brave enough to call the police. Many people run away from these situations." Her words and the emotions she poured out made her feel lighter.