Till Death Do Us Part: A Daryl Dixon Story (The Walking Dead)

22

Andrea was getting her pants charmed off during breakfast by the Governor, Michonne nearly committed murder when the Governor's lapdog tried to pry details about her pet walkers and I just sat there with my mouth shut, sipping tea and scarfing down eggs. Needless to say, it was a boring affair for me and I couldn't wait to get my hands on my dragon sword and get the hell out of Woodbury. My sword, along with Michonne's, were hung up on the Governor's cabinet like some kind of display. It was slightly nauseating.
Andrea, as it seemed, had a very different viewpoint about us leaving.
All three of us argued as we walked down the street of the Governor's lair. Michonne and I wanted to leave, but Andrea wanted to stay for a few days. I felt like smacking her right there. So far Merle had left me alone, but I didn't trust this place. More importantly, I didn't trust myself. I had the slightest itch to sneak up on Merle and cut his throat in his sleep. But only after I demanded my answers out of him, of course. If I didn't know any better I'd say Andrea would've liked to literally have her pants charmed off by the charismatic Mr Governor. Michonne bitterly stormed off and sat down on a metal bench on the opposite side of the street. Andrea stared at me.
'Well?'
'I'm with Michonne.'
'Really? After eight months of running around, scared and cold, you just want to march right back to that after finding a gold mine like this?' She argued her point.
It wasn't Woodbury itself that put me off -it was Merle. Now I couldn't necessarily tell Andrea this much because, well, it was none of her business. I suddenly lacked the drive and energy to carry on with this fruitless debate so I waved her off. A few more days in Woodbury wouldn't do me any harm as long as Merle kept his distance.
'Whatever, Andrea.' I stalked off, passing a pissed off Michonne. She looked mighty comfortable, stretched out on the bench, but her face was a shit-storm. She was really pissed off at Andrea. I wondered what her reasons were for wanting to leave so urgently, but I knew better than to ask. I considered going back to the room we were given to go take a long nap but decided I'd take my own tour of Woodbury. The town was fairly large for a newly formed apocalypse settlement and was filled with people. Everyone seemed so normal, going about life as if there weren't flesh eating monsters just dying to get a taste of us lurking beyond the walls. I even saw a heavily pregnant woman, causing my heart to drop in my stomach. Lori. She would be due anytime now. A wave of sadness and misery hit me like a tsunami. Was she even still alive? Were any of them still alive? Daryl -was he okay? Did he forget about me without much thought or was he sitting, staring up at the sky wishing I was beside him?
I scoffed. Who was I trying to kid? I was given a mountain of evidence to support my case that Daryl didn't give two shits about me anymore. I had given him countless chances to rekindle whatever we had, but he had always chosen the easier way out. Maybe my getting left behind was a blessing for him. Maybe he was happier now that I was out of the picture.
'Penny for your thoughts?'
I turned and stared into the amused face of Martinez. I looked around and realized I had frozen in the middle of the road. I briefly wondered how long I'd been standing there, looking like I suffered from mild mental problems, which in all fairness, I did.
'Sorry,' I smiled, blushing a bit under his intense gaze. 'This happens sometimes.'
'All the more reason for you to stay. You wouldn't be giving me such a pretty smile if I were a walker.'
I scoffed. Martinez was flirting with me and he wasn't even trying to hide it. He gave a light chuckle as well, stepping forward.
'A few of us are going for a run soon. The army official we rescued told us about his camp, and we're going to go see if they're alive -bring them back if they are. When I get back, I was uh-wondering if I could cook something nice for you. Maybe get to know each other a little better.' A shy smile spread over his face and his eyes showed how nervous he was.
A tiny smile appeared on my face and I nervously tucked my hair behind my ear. It's not that I was into the guy or anything. Sure he seemed to be sweet and he was handsome, it's just that I enjoyed the attention and compliments I was getting from him. He seemed genuinely interested in me, and it was enough to spark my interest. Hell, this tiny flicker of attention I was getting was more than I had received several months ago.
'Sure,' I said as my eyes met his. Relief ran through his face and his smile grew wider.
'Great,' He stepped back, his eyes running up and down my body. 'I'll find you when I get back.'
I watched him leave with a smile. Who knows, maybe Andrea was right. As long as Merle didn't bother me, Woodbury might actually be the place we were looking for all winter. I turned to carry on my exploration of the town when Martinez left, but stopped short when I saw the soul-sucking glare I was being given by Michonne. I reluctantly walked up to the bench she was still lounging on as if she was on a beach in the Bahamas. I sat down beside her and gave her a pointed stare.
'What?'
'You're getting cozy with the henchmen.' Her tone was flat.
'That was nothing.' I muttered, slightly annoyed.
'The man was undressing you with his eyes.' She replied in her whisper voice.
'Why do you care?'
'Didn't you say you were married?' she asked bluntly.
I turned to face her, speaking through clenched teeth. 'How dare you? My husband, if I must go so far to still call him that, is long gone. And before that he made it very clear to me that we had no future together. So you have no right to judge me if I want to move on.'
'That,' Michonne's eyes flickered to where Martinez and I had been standing. 'Isn't called moving on. All that man wants is a quick-'
'Is that what you think of me?' I stood up, hurt by the woman who I thought was my friend. The woman who had stood by my side and defended me, trained me all winter.
'All I'm saying-' She started speaking but her voice faded away as I stormed off, my arms wrapped around myself. Who did she think she was, interfering in my business when all winter I kept my questions about her to myself? I thought we had a basic understanding. We both valued our privacy and we both respected that.
But I had spoken the truth; Daryl didn't want me. I was nothing in his eyes, and he had proven that over and over. Maybe it was for the best that I got separated from the group. I knew for a fact that if I was still in his presence I would have never been able to move on. I would have faced his rejection every single day, because I loved him. And I still love him. But he's not here. He was never there. He might have physically been there, but all the countless times I needed him to step up as my husband, he was missing. So yes, it was a good thing that I got left behind. I was a desperate woman back then, and I would have fallen over myself to get back into Daryl's arms. This winter showed me that that woman will die in this world. And so I shed her skin. I was no longer that woman who would desperately cling onto a marriage that didn't exist.
I was Erin Leigh, the survivor. And I had to start thinking about what's best for me.
I spent the rest of the morning strolling through the town with a scowl on my face. I supposed I looked very mean and unapproachable because none of the people of Woodbury bothered me with small talk. I also took a peak at the metal sheeting that doubled as walls around the town. There were a few weak spots and I wondered if I should mention that to Mr Tyrant. The gates of the front entrance opened and the trucks parked inside. All of the men piled out and waited for the Governor to make his announcement. None of the army officials Martinez spoke of were with them, so I guessed none of them made it. I found Andrea amongst the crowd and she gave me a quick glance without saying anything. I guess she was still mad at me for siding with Michonne. I caught Martinez's eye and he gave me a quick smile before the Governor's voice drew my attention.
He gave a typical I'm-in-charge-speech that didn't do much to gain my sympathy or trust, but the rest of the crowd (Andrea included) seemed mesmerised by him. I also felt the piercing stare of Michonne against my back but I forced myself to look forward. The crowd scattered after the Governor asked of us to be grateful of this blessed safe haven that is Woodbury, and I hung around, waiting for Martinez.
He appeared by my side, his hands casually tucked in his pockets, that cute, shy smile of his plastered on his face.
'Still up for lunch?' He said softly, and I could hear the smile in his voice.
I gently nudged his arm with my elbow. 'Lead the way.'
The corner of his mouth turned up into an excited smile, and I ended up smiling as well. His enthusiasm was contagious. But my smile was wiped away when I caught Michonne's disapproving glare. I matched her glare and turned my back on her.
Michonne could think what she wanted. I was doing this for me, not out of spitefulness towards Daryl, wherever he was. But because I deserved for someone to finally take an interest in me, in what I have to say. Why did I have to put myself second place even now, when I was questioning Daryl's existence? Why should I have to shove away any chance of happiness based on the slight chance that he was out there somewhere? And even if he was out there, it was clearer than daylight that we were finished. It was time to finally let go of my past.
And glancing up at Martinez's shy smile, I felt that familiar tug in my stomach, assuring me that I was doing the right thing.
//
Let's all be mad at Erin now.