I tucked Ava in her blanket and then went towards my room, and as I'm about to enter I heard moans.
I heard Hailey moaning.
I heard my Hailey moaning in pleasure.
She is moaning because she is having really good time in bed, and it's not me.
ALYNE B...
I am seeing him all naked and beautiful getting inside in some other girl's vagina.
He was fucking cheating on me for all this while and I have just moved across the whole country and worked my ass off for this internship just to be with him for these six months and he is sucking this girl's lips out in front of me. No, I'm not in front of him I am hiding in his closet to give him surprise and instead he gave me the best surprise.
It's been a while sitting in here and looking this live porn, the moment I saw him entering with her and stripping off his all clothes my heartaches just to confirm what I'm seeing is truth but it is what it is. I loved him with all I have. I did everything for him. I loved him more than myself, and he loved me enough to just to lick some other girl's tits. I should have been jealous of her but I'm not, I'm super angry on myself for letting myself go and letting him in just to break my heart with all this blonde.
Believe me, you wouldn't know the feeling of betrayal until you see it by yourself, with every breath you take inside you remember every moment you kissed him, how he picked me up and put me on the ground on the most tender way and kissed me on my forehead and told me how much he love me, how much I meant to him, and he would wait for a century just to marry me.
What was it all Sam? A lie. All those promises and kisses and love we made together was any of it was real, were you really in love with me. In this moment and soaked eyes, I see you with someone else who is not me.
I am doubting every moment of my life with you.
I am doubting my beauty, I am doubting my existence I am doubting my ears could here anymore of your lies or her moans.
I am doubting my eyes can see any fake love in your eyes or her being happy with you inside of her.
I am doubting my body would ever leave this tension that is created by you and your sweet blonde.
I'm doubting my heart would survive this seen of you breaking my soul into pieces like you tore off that condom packet just two minutes ago.
My breathing has increased like hers, the only difference is her are from pleasure and mine are from the heartbreak I have just endured.
I need to breathe and I need air. But I doubt, does this room have more air than this closet. I need to get out of this closet, and face this truth that the love of my life loves me enough to cheat on me knowing I am shifting here to be with him.
how would I sleep tonight and how will I wake up tomorrow and how am I going to get up from the bed. That is all I thought.
I opened the closet and with that they both stopped and she screamed and covered herself, please woman I was in the closet for half an hour. He was shocked at first but when he realized it is me his face left the colour. He looked at me and my bloodshot eyes. And then he removed his eyes from mine. I am glad he has that much of respect for himself so that he cannot look in my eyes, because if he had looked into my eyes right now, I would have searched love for myself in them.
Hey Alyne, your self-respect should be greater than your emotions.
My mind told my heart to shut up. If only I have ever listened to him. I would have seen signs before this beautiful intimacy. Sam looks at me and it was this moment I looked in his eyes and there something, something recognizable.
guilt.
guilt of being caught.
There was no love, no fear of losing me, may be because he already knew that my love is gone and he has lost me. But I still have so many pieces of mine invested in him and these memories that will haunt me, I do not know, may be forever. I just have one question.
Why?
I looked in his eyes and asked him, "why?" He looks at me and replies, "we were doing long distance and it wasn't working out for me."
"Really! I fucking worked my ass off for this six-month internship for us to be together, I rent a whole apartment for us to be together. You knew that. You knew I was coming. And you still chose to do this." I looked at the girl and she was looking back and forth between us.
"Do you love her?" I asked him looking at her with pity in my eyes because if yes, then she has the same fate like me. Because Sam told me infinite times that he loves me but what he did to me right now, proves that love is nothing just a trap.
"yes" he replied looking away. And with this line, I laughed I laughed hard. My stomach started to ache and eyes started watering and suddenly that laughter faded, it is slowly fading away as I am walking away from them towards the doorway. The tears of my laughter have changed into tears of betrayal, heartbreak and pain.
"Alyne, wait listen to me." he stopped me from behind.
I did looked at him and starting walking away from that horrible, dark and suffocating studio of his. As I was moving out of that studio, I was taking notes how his studio is different but still alike to his dorm, may be the hints were there all along but I noticed them now.
I am feeling like my heart is being crushed but a bulldozer it feeling like it's shrinking into a shell by each passing sob of mine. Now I must think about a way to make myself fall asleep because the more I'm awake, the more I'm dying.
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