Believe In Me (J.J.K)

13: Psalm 37:8-9

"Refrain from anger, and turn from wrath; do not fret - it leads only to evil. For those who are evil will be destroyed, but those who hope in the LORD will inherit the land."             Psalm 37:8-9

It's quite thought-provoking when one really thinks about how people have different methods when it comes to coping with grief. 

The most common first method of coping is by crying. Screaming, sobbing, bleeding out a scorching pain through tears and wails- pouring out the feelings trapped inside of how that person who was always so consistent in one's life is suddenly gone. 

Just like that... Gone. 

There's just something about sudden news of a death that feels like a lucid nightmare. If it's someone already dying in the hospital, the pain is there but perhaps tamed because it was already expected that the person was bound to die - so one is mentally preparing themselves for that day, even if the day comes still feels like a brutal stab on the heart.

A sudden death is not a slow knife to the heart, or a torturing time loop of an anticipated death - it's more numbing than that. It's someone grabbing your heart and slamming the crystal glass across your face to pieces. You don't feel the impact until you sense the burns of the cuts against your skin. It's the disbelief of how you just spoke to that person, perhaps two hours ago and they were perfectly fine. 

They were okay.

They were healthy.

They were fine.

And now, they're not here.

It's numbing because it doesn't process like the anticipated deaths. You live in this haze illusion that leaves you paranoid. You continue doing your everyday activities, the shock paralyzing you from feeling the true depth of grief, until one day....

It snaps. 

And that's where Jungkook is now. 

His life has become a numbing haze. The night of the incident was the last time Jungkook demonstrated any type of emotions about his parents' death, and the main reason being because it just didn't wrap around in his head for it to be true.

Even if he was aware of it.

That night though, he snorted two straight lines of cocaine, and fell asleep for two entire days without waking up once - not even for food or to use the bathroom. The only way they knew he wasn't dead was because Minsu has taken the responsibility in looking out for him in his apartment once they returned to Seoul - and he was keeping Namjoon updated on how he's been doing.

When he woke up again, without a single dream to have been lingering in his mind, he didn't waste time in bouncing back into the normality of his life - and that was anything that would avoid having available time.

The CEO didn't want him to go back to work, instead he wanted to give him at least a month off, but Jungkook completely rejected the idea and was quite aggressive about fitting him into every possible opening they have. He didn't want to stop, he refused to. So thankfully, Namjoon was on the other hand of the side in wanting him to continue working - to feed off that feeling to complete his tasks.

Since that day, Jungkook has been consistently working on his new album being made, concerts, participating in events abroad, attending interviews and photoshoots in such a cramped time. He didn't care, he did it all at a rapid speed and with the pressure breathing down his neck - from the second he woke up till the late hours of when he'd pass out at night from exhaustion. Minsu a couple of times had to help him to bed because of how weak Jungkook felt from his day to even get out of the car on his own.