Yellow Roses

Chapter 14: Carrie

I've been throwing up non-stop since about 6 in the morning. It's Christmas Eve, and I can already tell I'm going to be struggling to enjoy it much with this constant nausea.

My father is coming home in just a few hours from Korea to visit for the holidays. Normally I'd be very excited to see him, but all I can think about is how the hell am I going to tell him the news.

I can't. There's no way.

I heard a knock on the door.

"Carrie, sweetie. Are you sick again? On Christmas Eve?"

I lifted my head from the toilet and wiped away some spit.

"Yeah." I responded. "I think I might have food poisoning or something."

I heard her sigh heavily through the door.

"Well, I'm going to pick up your father from the airport now. Drink up some Pepto and drink ginger ale. I hope you'll feel better soon."

I put my face into my hands. "Thanks mom, I'll see you soon."

I heard the sound of her footsteps walk away before I flushed the toilet and headed back to my room.

I threw myself onto the bed and thought about what I'm going to do. I'm 17. I can't take care of a damn baby. My mother already stresses enough with my dad, and Kevin isn't my boyfriend. I know he's not ready to be a father.

Fuck. I still haven't even told him.

I'm getting lost into my thoughts and confusion, trying not to explode with tears. I haven't even told my other friends either. I haven't told anyone except Liz.

It's early in the morning. I doubt she's available for me to call her again, but I decided to give it a shot.

I heard the phone ring a few times before she picked up.

"H-Hello?" I heard her raspy voice on the other end. Suddenly, I was flooded with tears.

"Liz. I'm sorry to-" I sniffled. "-I'm sorry to wake you up so early again. But I need more advice. I can't do this alone."

Liz sighed into the phone. "Carrie, I'm going to tell you the same thing I said last time. You need to either tell Kevin and make a decision with him together, or let me help you plan an abortion so nobody besides us needs to know, if you're that worried about what others think."

I can't bear the thought of ever killing an innocent life due to my own carelessness, but the more I consider how good of a life I can actually give this child while still wanting to live my own life, that strong stance I once had on the issue is starting to fade.

"I think either way I need to tell Kevin. He deserves to know." I adjusted myself onto my bed and rolled over. "I've been dodging his texts and calls all week. My nausea is getting worse by the day. A lot of it I think is just from anxiety. I don't know where to start."

I heard Liz clear her throat, as if she's still trying to wake up. "I think telling Kevin the news is a good start. I know your stance on abortions so I won't push you. It's your body and your choice. But no matter what decision you make, the baby daddy should still know what's going on."

I pinch in between my eyes out of stress. I can already see mine and Kevin's relationship being over. There's no way we can bounce back from this.

"Thank you Liz..." I paused for a moment. "I really needed to hear all of that. I will call him to meet up soon. Hopefully he's willing to meet on Christmas Eve. I'll let you know what happens after."

"You're welcome Carrie." She said calmly. "I'm always here for you."

I heard a click and was back to my Home Screen.