Because She Loved Him

Machination

Their newfound togetherness didn't last longer than a few weeks, Bjorn was impatient and very angry with the world. He still felt that everyone was against him and with Lena's machinations behind the scenes he began to believe things that just weren't true. All it took was Lena to put a word in his ear here and there, taking advantage of his ego and his need to believe that he was right and everyone else was wrong for the ties that had bound ABBA together for so long, those ties of brotherhood, friendship, love and marriage to start snapping under the strain. Benny had tried in vain to talk to Bjorn but in the end even patient, unflappable Benny was driven to distraction and drink. Frida for her part smoked and drank far too much as they all wondered how it had got to this point, the strain of the unwanted tour hadn't helped and the extra pressure on top of everything else could only lead to one thing, it had to blow in the end and it did, in spectacular fashion.

The day in the studio started like any other day had recently, Benny and Bjorn were bickering in the sound booth, Anna was feeling dreadful, tired all the time and on the verge of tears constantly. Linda had caught a cold from school and given it to Christian so the kids were up half the night which Bjorn seemed to find very inconvenient and had taken his frustration out on Anna as had become usual way of things. Anna had become quiet and withdrawn, her fire had gone and both Benny and Frida were deeply concerned about her, they could both see that she was fragile and a shadow of her former self, She came to the studio bang on time every day, she had sung endlessly and done everything that they had all asked of her, She had given Bjorn no more ammunition with which to hurt her which in its own turn seemed to frustrate him all the more, it felt like he was waiting for any excuse to justify himself. His justification came when he caught Anna rolling her eyes at the presence of Lena in the recording studio and what followed Benny would forever after refer to as the moment that nothing was ever the same again. The vitriol that he threw at Anna and the rest of them in their turn was like nothing that that seen before and worse they could see Lena enjoying every minute of it. It was truly as if Bjorn was another person, another man that none of them recognised and for his part Lena's subtle manoeuvrings had really blinded him to the damage being caused, she had one goal. She wanted Bjorn and the lifestyle he could offer her and she was unbothered by the fallout around her plans. She couldn't have cared any the less for Anna or the children and she had fed Bjorn's discontented rumbles about being tied down by the children until she had stoked the rumbles into a deafening roar. Oh they were clever her machinations, she drip fed Bjorn the idea that Anna was high maintenance, that she wasn't well inside her head and perhaps her voice was the only reason Bjorn kept her around and it was this day finally that the human volcano that Bjorn had become blew. There was no real trigger for it in the end, it just happened and Bjorn wasn't able to control it, in all honesty it was clear that he didn't much try and by the time he was done yelling unspeakable things at all of them but mostly at Anna with no thought for the consequences, things that could never be unsaid it was clear at least to Anna that her world had imploded and this day would haunt her until the day she died. After the rapport they had regained recently it came as a shock that paralysed her. She saw the face of the man she would love for the whole of her eternity but she didn't recognise him, she felt Frida's fingers thread through hers and squeeze but no matter how hard she tried she couldn't respond.

Benny watched Anna with mounting concern as the colour drained from her face and if it weren't for Frida holding her hand he was sure she would fall and Bjorn's words echoed endlessly in his mind especially the ones he'd reserved for Anna, that he didn't want the kids, he'd been forced into it, that she and the kids held him back. They were a burden that he didn't sign up for, that he would never have any more with her, he hated her constant fear that she was being followed, hated her for making him stay in with the family. He hated her neediness and wished she would grow up, he yelled at her for not trying hard enough and when Frida had stepped in he'd turned on her accusing her of always sticking up for Anna, of hiding the fact that Anna couldn't sing anymore, accusing her of being a terrible mother and when Benny had finally lost his temper and told Bjorn a few of his own home truths Bjorn had said he regretted the day that he'd met Benny because Benny was only interested in writing the music and not the rest of it, that he was a drunk who couldn't write anything decent for Bjorn to put words to, why did it all have to fall on Bjorn's shoulders when they all enjoyed the trappings of fame? There was so much more, all of it damning and irreversible but it all started to blend into the other, Benny was sure that he would be able to pick it apart later but the worst was yet to come as Anna had to watch Bjorn turn away from her and grab Lena's hand to pull her with him. The look of triumph that Lena shot over her right shoulder as they left seared Anna's soul.