Because She Loved Him

Reservation

Frida was very unsettled by the whole incident and looked around at everyone else. Everyone was busy with their own activities and no one else had seen Lena's action. She shook her head and wondered if she had imagined the whole thing.
They all settled down to eat their Chinese and the atmosphere gradually became relaxed although Bjorn was quiet and scowling. The girls and Benny chatted about their respective kids, a plan for a holiday that Frida and Benny were thinking of having.
"For Christ Sake " shouted Bjorn suddenly. " Don't any of you even care? We have an album that we need to deliver by Christmas, we've got a bloody tour next year that has a lot of money riding on it. We haven't released anything in months. People will forget ABBA! All you lot can do is talk about holidays and kids. It's about time you all showed some commitment" he threw his napkin down on the table and walked out of the room, slamming the door behind him.
Frida and Benny looked at each other and Benny got up, leant over and gave Frida a kiss and kissed Agnetha on the top of her head before heading off to find Bjorn. Agnetha picked up her napkin and fought a valiant battle with her tears, only to lose it when Frida put her arms around her. Frida comforted her and rocked her as the storm of tears continued unabated. " He's like this all the time" Agnetha hiccupped. " It's not just ABBA, it's everything. It's like he's bored with me, bored with the children. He gets so irritated but then he says that nothing is wrong" she sighed and wiped her eyes and looked at Frida. "He doesn't spend so much time with the children now, he's here or at some meeting or another. Sometimes I wish I didn't love him so much"
Frida gave Agnetha another tissue to replace the one she had shredded and said " how does the counselling go? " " He comes with me once a week" answered Agnetha " he answers the questions of the counsellor, he says how he feels and so do I. He says I am too wrapped up in the children and do not see the bigger picture. He feels that he comes second in my affections and that the children are more important" Agnetha got up to fetch a coffee and came back to sit facing Frida on the sofa. " My love for my children is totally different to the love that I have for Bjorn, but I think they need me more while they are so young." She paused for a sip of coffee" if anything I love Bjorn more now than I ever did but he doesn't listen when I tell him so." Frida sighed and got up. She started to clear the table. " Anna, you are braver than I ever was to take on children and ABBA at the same time. I admire you. Remember that. I left my children with Ragnar so that I could do this. Maybe things would be different if I were to have children with Benny one day. But Anna, you do an amazing job"
Agnetha smiled through her tears and said " I wouldn't be so brave without Bjorn and you two by my side"
She got up and began to help Frida clear away and said " I do realise that I'm not entirely blameless in this. I know that I do get obsessed with the children but I'm trying to make up for the times that we are away. I know I can get impatient with Bjorn sometimes but I get tired and I just want him to hug me or take notice of me." Agnetha felt a bit better now she had talked to Frida and they finished clearing away.

Benny eventually found Bjorn outside in the courtyard sat on a bench smoking. He sat next to him and lit a cigarette for himself before making himself comfortable.
"Bjorn, you're going to have to tell me what's wrong with you. You're behaving like an absolute idiot. Nothing anyone said in there deserved your response. We were just taking a bit of time out. Chatting about normal life" he said. "I'm looking forward to a holiday, I think a change of scene would do me good. Frida needs a break"
Bjorn glared at his friend and said " Am I the only one that thinks ABBA is important? That we can't let people down?Am I the only one worried that we will miss the best time to break America" Benny sighed and said "No Bjorn, we all feel it to varying degrees but you feel it keenly I think. Yes ABBA is important and we all love it and want what's best. We are all willing to work hard" Bjorn interrupted with a disbelieving snort. "Anna doesn't, all she wants are the kids, you and Frida are so wrapped up in yourselves that ABBA comes a very distant second. "
Benny smiled wryly" you may have a point with Frida and I sometimes. You know I adore the ground she even walks on but without her I wouldn't have the inspiration to write. She is my heart and soul. Regardless of what you may think Bjorn, Frida and I are totally committed to ABBA and that won't change. For god's sake I come in and work with your miserable face every day. I see more of you than I do of Frida!"
Bjorn smiled unwillingly at that and sighed. " I want us to be the best we can be. I want to do a tour. I want to break America. It's the only place we haven't made any headway. It's going to be good money."
"Have you spoken to Anna about any of this yet? " Benny asked gently. " Some of it" said Bjorn " sometimes I don't see any point, she's so wrapped up with the kids that she doesn't want to do anything with Abba at all" Benny looked at Bjorn and said " genuinely my friend I think you're being a bit unfair. Christian is only 4 months old, he was planned so you both knew what it would entail. Anna has come back to work far quicker than any of us thought. She works her self to the bone when she's here and she sounds bloody good. She and Frida are at the top of their game. It's us that are the problem mate. You're blaming her for all that is wrong and that's not fair"
Bjorn leant back in the seat feeling very defensive and angry. Deep down he knew that Benny was right. Benny went on " Anna loves ABBA as much as the rest of us, she just wants to do it differently now. We should be considering her ideas to take ABBA forward as well you know" " what ideas?" asked Bjorn "she never said anything to me" " mate do you ever even give her the chance?" Bjorn felt ashamed because even though he wouldn't admit it out loud, he knew Anna had tried to talk to him a few times about ABBA but he had dismissed her, thinking that she was going to put more obstacles in the way.
Having finished clearing up their lunch and settled back on the studio sofa Agnetha and Frida were still talking. Frida said " you are too hard on yourself Anna. Christian is only 4 months old, Bjorn is being a total arse and you know it, you always make excuses for him. I love him to bits too but he needs to sort his head and his priorities out" Agnetha smiled and said "yes but he's my arse and I love him. I just want to make things better for him and all of us. ABBA is important to me, like I said and I'll always sing for him" she got up off the sofa and straightened the kinks out of her back, held out a hand to Frida and pulled her up saying "come on, let's sing Frida, we need to sing" the girls started to practice the awkward verse again and again.
Outside the boys heard them and Benny smiled and said "see? Now who are the lazy ones? They are in there working without us." He laughed and Bjorn said " Benny I don't know what's wrong with me I hear what you are saying and part of me knows you're right but I can't help how I feel. I'm dissatisfied with life, I'm dissatisfied with ABBA. Everything feels boring and lacking in colour or interest. I know that I'm sometimes unfair to Anna but I can't help myself. I need the thrill of fans, the thrill of a number one album. If I had that perhaps I would be better all round. I love Anna, I truly love her but it isn't enough for me. I'm young and I'm in the biggest group in the world. I want it all"
Benny looked at his best friend and said "Bjorn, I'm telling you this as a friend, a true friend. I don't know where you think you're going with this but this is dangerous ground you're walking on. Fame , she is a cruel mistress and she is not all she's cracked up to be. Go home. Make it up with your kids and your wife and be grateful for what you have and what we have already achieved." Bjorn felt the sting of his words and felt like the worst kind of fool.
Benny stubbed out his cigarette and went back in leaving Bjorn alone with his thoughts.
Benny made the signal to the girls to stop, they took off their headphones and Agnetha said " where's Bjorn? " "Outside" said Benny "he will be back in a second" he watched Anna's face drop and sighed. He walked over to the girls and put his arms round both of them and hugged them tightly. "Let's stop for today, we need a break. Can we reschedule this meeting for tomorrow, I really want both of you in there with us to get your input, Anna can you manage it with the kids?" Anna thought and said " can I bring them with me?" Frida clapped delightedly and said "YES! I haven't seen them for ages! Anna laughed and said "you saw them at the weekend, and bought enough toys for them to open their own shop" "well it is ages ago" said Frida. Benny and Frida said they would be delighted to see the kids. Bjorn walked back in at this point and was perturbed to see the three in a group hug, he didn't care to examine his feelings .
" Oh there you are" said Benny " we are going to call it a day, we've rescheduled the meeting for tomorrow and we are ALL going to be there" Bjorn felt out of sorts and a bit ashamed that he hadn't thought of it but said "Right, ok that's great" he went off to get his coat and boots. As he was backing out of the cupboard, he jumped when he felt a hand on his back "Jesus Anna you made me jump" he turned around only to see that it was not Anna at all, it was Lena. " Sorry Lena, I thought it was my wife, what can I do for you?" Lena smiled at him and said " I just wanted to say goodbye for now and how brilliant I think you really are " she reached up and kissed him on the mouth then slowly walked away. " I'll look forward to seeing you tomorrow" he heard her say. Bjorn touched his tingling lips and shook his head staring in the direction she had gone.
He could hear the others calling him, they were ready to go. He shook himself out of his stupor and put his coat and boots on.
They all clomped outside into the snow and got into their respective cars. Bjorn said to Anna, "I'll follow you home then we will go in my car to pick up the kids if you like" Anna smiled and said "yes that would be lovely" they all shouted bye to each other and Benny and Frida went first, followed by Agnetha, then Bjorn. They drove slowly out of the city then went a little faster on the main road. Agnetha was struggling. Her car seemed difficult to steer. There was a massive bank of snow on the side of the road and Anna hit a patch of ice. Normally she would have been fine to cope with this, she had been driving in snow and ice for years but the car would not respond. She skidded into the snowbank.
Bjorn, driving behind her saw all this happening as if it were in slow motion. He watched her skid and hit the snowbank, a big chunk of snow fell of and covered the front part of the car. He pulled his car in behind hers and raced out, his heart in his mouth. Benny and Frida had stopped a bit further up and were running back towards the car. Bjorn wrenched the driver's door open and said "Anna darling talk to me are you ok? Anna!"