Because She Loved Him

Run Runaway.

Bjorn's world imploded just as Benny predicted and as it turned out he had no need to go and find Lena, she found him and Bjorn was horrified at her boldness and her persistence. He'd done his best to ignore Lena after the bust up with Frida and had ignored a myriad of notes left on his desk and phone calls but clearly she had not taken the hint and when she turned up at the studio wearing something that he thought wouldn't have looked out of place in a brothel and proceeded to drape herself all over him in front of everyone in the studio  he was beyond humiliated at everyone's knowing looks. He'd marched her out of the room and proceeded to untangle himself from her clutches "What the HELL is wrong with you?" he snapped "what is so twisted in your head that you can't take no for an answer?"he demanded "that's not what you were saying that night" she purred "I don't remember saying ANYTHING" he growled "and I don't remember anything about that night" "You certainly didn't say no"Lena said "you begged me, you said you'd been misunderstood and you needed someone who understood you" she smiled at him " we are alike you and I" she said "we are perfect together" "we are NOTHING alike" Bjorn spat "oh we are Loverboy, nothing will get in our way. Together we will be unstoppable. We both know what we want, we are driven, single minded, ruthless. We both love attention, fame, money. Believe me I understand you better than anyone ever could"
Her words gave Bjorn uncomfortable pause and for what felt like an eternity he stared at Lena and he knew with the honesty that he'd found within himself since Anna had disappeared that he wasn't as bad as Lena, he wasn't as avaricious, he wasn't as ruthless but when he looked at her he could see himself in her and it was a horrific wake up call for him. He made the decision there and then that whatever road he had been travelling down was not the road for him, he wanted Anna and his kids and he wanted Abba in it's purest form and for the first time in months his vision was clear and unclouded, he didn't want to be like Lena. He was bought out of his thoughts by an unwelcome hand stroking down his face "You and me will be an unbeatable team Bjorn, you know it. We are dynamite" he lifted his hand to remove hers from his face and Frida chose that moment to walk through to the studio chatting to Michael. Frida never said a word to her credit and neither did Michael but Bjorn caught a glimpse of something in her eyes that he wasn't quick enough to identify and Michael looked devastated, Bjorn opened his mouth to protest that it wasn't what it looked like but then he couldn't because at this moment it was exactly what it looked like. Suddenly he was exhausted and couldn't deal with her anymore "Lena, go and put something decent on" he sighed "we need to talk"
By the time he'd persuaded Lena out of the room with a lot more patience than she deserved but Bjorn wanted no more humiliation he was drained and sat wide eyed staring into space as he thought of the horrendous situation that he found himself on and came to more hard realisations, finding that for the first time in his life he genuinely  didn't know what to do, he'd never even considered once that his behaviour would eventually drive Anna away, his arrogance had led him to believe that always she would be there regardless of what he did or said. She loved him, he knew she did, facing the fact that she obviously didn't stung him mightily. He didn't want to look desperate in front of anyone, he took being an abandoned husband hard and hid his agony the best he could, he couldn't admit to anyone that he'd got it so wrong nor that he'd been left even if some already knew.
Contrary to his earlier knee jerk plans he avoided Lena for the rest of the day he couldn't bear to see her face or deal with the mess he'd created and certainly no one told her what had occured, he was set on ensuring that no one knew that really didn't have to and that was rooted in humiliation, embarrassment and pain.
He went into the studio and faced the others with an attitude that didn't encourage conversation and buried himself in work, hoping that Anna would turn up at the studio but she didn't, somehow Benny had tracks that she'd put down before her departure and eventually he blew up at Benny "how much of this was planned?" he yelled "did you lot cook all this up so she could go? How long did she know that she would leave me behind like I'm fucking rubbish? How many tracks did she do perfectly for you and not for me? She can't have it both ways, she's either in or she's out!" Benny was privately surprised that it had taken Bjorn this long to explode but he knew that Bjorn's ego would have fuelled him this far "she's out Bjorn because she can't be around you" Benny was gentle but honest Bjorn scowled ferociously "I'm not a bad person, I'm not so awful that she can't be around me" "No you're not a bad person but you've made bad decisions and taken a wrong turn" Benny commented "she can't be around you, you made her life miserable so she's given you what you asked her for, you told her over and over again that you didn't want her or the kids. A girl can only take so much Bjorn and she has never been able to handle you being angry with her, I told you that months and months ago and you didn't listen. Even if you're justified it shreds her" "It doesn't justify her leaving me, taking my children and disappearing off the face of the earth" Benny lifted an eyebrow and said nothing "it doesn't! "Bjorn protested "I don't know why she always has to take things so literally, I was angry and frustrated." "You told her repeatedly Bjorn, things you knew would wound her. It wasn't just a one off, this has been going on since she had Christian and no none of this was planned, she didn't want to let anyone down and she did want to finish the album for you" Bjorn felt profoundly guilty, an emotion he was feeling all the time at the moment and he knew Benny was right because he'd seen the evidence of his lack of empathy, of love in the films with his own eyes "I know" he finally admitted hoarsely "but I never meant for this to happen" "what did you honestly think would happen Bjorn?" Benny asked curiously "did you think she would stay where she wasn't wanted? Did you think she would keep the children in a place where they might feel unwanted or unloved? Did you think that she wouldn't see you choose Lena?" "I love my children, I love her" Bjorn exploded jumping up to pace the room "Yes you do" Benny agreed "and we all knew it except you, Anna knew you loved the children and that's why she stayed long past any sane woman would, that's why she made the films and she made excuse after excuse for you, she had your back long after you abandoned hers" Benny sipped his coffee "and now you've realised it too late, you've realised you do love them all but now she's gone because she finally believed you and she's tired. She knows you want Abba and the fame, the adulation. She's given you everything she could, she's found someone better than her to tour" "I can't believe you just fucking said that!" Bjorn spat "there is no-one better than her" Benny's eyes gleamed and he hid his smirk deciding to poke the bear a little more "you told her yourself that she wasn't good enough anymore, you told her she was holding Abba back" Benny got up to refill his coffee "but it isn't true in anyone else's eyes but yours, she was at the top of her game" Bjorn fidgeted uncomfortably because he still wasn't used to having his own words thrown back in his face, much less facing the consequence of them.
Frida wandered in at that moment "Benny, Stig is on the warpath when is Inger starting rehearsals? Is it tomorrow?" Benny nodded "yeah, she's in at 8" "this is every kind of wrong!" Bjorn spat "why are you all so calm? Frida she's your friend! How can you go on without her?" he demanded "I wasn't given a choice Bjorn, none of us were" Frida replied quietly "Yes she is my friend, my best friend and it'll be awful for me without her but we have to deal with it now" Bjorn couldn't get rid of the knots in his belly "I don't understand all this" he mumbled "I don't understand what's happened" Frida's growl surprised him and he caught sight of Benny's restraining hand on her arm along with Benny's subtle headshake,he focused on Frida and her eyes burned, he realised that Frida was furious and it was wholly directed at him "spit it out Frida" he snarled and his eyes widened as Frida finally lost her temper and physically launched herself at him, thankfully Benny still had hold of her "you're a lying, cheating bastard" she yelled in his face "you don't care about anyone but yourself, we're just all along for the Bjorn egotrip, you don't care about Anna and you don't care about us! You've thrown her away, blown Abba to pieces for your own gain. Sneaking around fucking Lena like some sort of manwhore" "Frida.." Benny murmured "steady" "I won't steady, I won't! Everyone creeps around him like he can do no wrong, no one says what is true, he goes through his life with absolutely no consequences for his actions. Anna covers for him all the fucking time because she loves him. None of this is right it's all bloody wrong, you cover for him because you love him in your way. He's ruined everything and now Anna is gone and Lena is out there right now tarting around and lording it over everyone because she's Bjorn's whore!" she gesticulated wildly at the doors "did you think no one knew Bjorn? Did you think no one saw her making her moves on you? Do you honestly think we didn't see you respond?Do you think Anna didn't see?? Fucking months she's lived with the fact you clearly don't love her. You're a fucking coward, you couldn't even tell her to her face, you just walked away. I don't recognize you anymore! You've thrown everything away, you had everything anyone could want, a wife who adored you, beautiful, beautiful children, a baby boy" her voice wavered "a wonderful career, people who loved and respected you"she paused for a much needed breath and shook free of Benny's hold to poke Bjorn hard in the chest "Make no mistake Bjorn, I despise you and what you've done and I despise your whore. I will do this tour for Benny and to keep the heat off Anna but after that I'm done, out. What Benny does is up to him" she stroked her hand down Benny's face before she stormed out of the room leaving a silence behind her that was unlike anything Bjorn had ever felt before and he didn't know how to break it. Frida's outburst had utterly rocked the foundations of his world and her words had shattered him. He felt the weight of Benny's gaze on him "you agree with her" it wasn't a question "I do" Benny said simply "but this time you are facing the consequences of your actions perhaps for the first time in your life and for the first time in our relationship I have no comfort to give you. I need to go and find Frida, make sure she's ok" and with that he left and the silence was so overwhelming that Bjorn picked up his guitar for the first time in far too long and found some comfort in the music he was strumming but his mind couldn't let go of the words that both Frida and Benny had flung at him and they battered his brain until he thought he would go mad.