What Might Have Been (A Songs of War Fanfiction)

Part Eight, Loss and Gain. Chapter Four.

Hi insomnia pals. Sorry this chapter took so long. I wrote most of it tonight - be proud of me.

I looked at the views on this book of worthless crap and 6.7K views by the Songs of War and the good lords of Minecraftia--

Also, the emotional baggage in this chapter gets kinda deep at one point or the other. You've been warned.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ria stands outside the stable on the edge of town, waiting for the other four anxiously. The evening of the twenty-third of December is upon Selos, and the town is lit up with redstone lamps and even some glowstone, which Ria is too distracted to wonder how it was acquired.

She's fresh from a difficult conversation with Abbigail, whom she almost thinks of as the sister she never had now; albeit an older, shattered sister. Ria gets an odd shiver when she looks at the Enderqueen: her eyes hold an intensity that mirrors the expression Ria had after Sendaria burned. It's as if she's channeled all her grief into anger, and that's not healthy for anyone. Ria almost voiced that, but Abbigail's like a cracked glass vase: breathe near her wrong and she'll shatter.

"After this is over," Ria had said to her, "I might not be... available for an amount of time. You need to have somewhere to go."

Abbigail's expression has lost a little of the intensity, like instead of this-is-the-worst-time-of-my-life, it's world-shaking-grief-is-the-new-feeling-great.

"What do you mean, you might not be available?" she asks cautiously. Her voice is like a breath of wind through a graveyard.

Ria swallows dryly, her fists clenching and unclenching sporadically. Even though she's not connected with a Prime Song right now - the Primes are kept safe in the infirmary with Hubris's sister; it's the safest place in town, what with all the injured KoA members there too - she can still feel the energies of her Mobilium Song swirling through her veins. It's like a reminder: Your fault. Your choice. Your sacrifice.

The Captain of the Knights of Ardonia takes a steady breath, maintaining a calm facade. "My plan. It might have... uncontrollable consequences, and I may be out of action for a short while," she says briefly: but it's no real answer and both young women know it. But they also both know the plan - Abbigail was there at the council this morning after all.

"Ria, promise me you won't die," the Queen of the Enderknights murmurs. Her arms, bare yet swathed in scars: some old, some new, are wrapped around her middle like she's cold, and she shivers slightly, though it's not from the dropping temperatures of the winter afternoon. Fear, anger, grief: emotions she can't even begin to process. "I... listen, I don't think I could handle losing two people I care a-about--"

Abbigail's voice breaks.

Ria steps forward, a hand going to rest on Abbigail's shoulder. "I promise," she vows firmly. "I don't like it, what this war is coming to: it's like we're entering some kind of endgame. Pythus... The Nether King. I can't even imagine the scale of his schemes. It's at least good that he and his forces are contained on Mount Velgrin; they're effectively stuck. And with Prince Vulcannus on our side, we do have a chance, a real one."

Abbigail's brown eyes seem to have darkened to an angry, stormlike grey. "I'll fight Pythus," she grits out. "End versus Nether: it's the only way."

"Abbigail, the plan--"

"I know about the plan, but I have to try. It's my duty." Ria admires the steadfast and stubborn pride of her friend; though perhaps this is the wrong time for her headstrong traits to shine through. "And," Abbigail continues, a small tremor in her voice, "I'm aware that in my condition I'm putting myself and my child in danger, but I just-- I can't let Saxon and Trevor go out there to fight without me there too. I may not have my crown, but gods know I am still the Enderqueen."