Kitten ~ {Michael Clifford hybrid}

Chapter 7 (trigger warning)

Its been raining a lot here and I've been sad lately so that's what inspired this chapter. Just a heads up, this chapter contains self harm.
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Maegan's pov

I woke up to the sound of thunder and flash of lightning.

I looked down and and smiled a small smile.

Michael was still asleep on my chest.

I picked him up off me and set him down next to me, trying to not wake him up.

After I set him down I got up and walked over to the windows and sat on the little windowsill seat.

I looked out at the rain and let my thoughts wander.

*trigger warning*

" 'Hey look, its the emo girl' I heard one of the students call as I walked into the library. 'Shhh' was all the librarian said. Its not like she cares. No one does. I walked over to my usual corner and read, occasionally stopping to cry or to count the scares on my arms.

'Hey' I hear a voice call. I look up to see the only four people to seem to care about me, Ashton, Calum, Rebecca, and Luke. I just look up at them and put on my usual fake smile. They sit down with me and tried to cheer me up like they do everyday."

I look at the faint scars on my arms and trace my hands over them.

Things have gotten slightly better since I dropped out of school but my dad doesn't know.

He thinks I still live with Rebecca and Luke and still go to schoo.

I started to think back when I was six and got the worst news in my life.

"I woke up and my grandma was over. I asked where my mom and dad where and she said the hospital. My mom had to go to the hospital often so I didn't think anything that bad waould happen. I waited and waited and waited till my dad finally came home.

He walked throught the door and he was crying. 'Why are you crying' I asked 'and where's mom'. 'S-s-she' was all he said before he started crying again. 'What happened' I asked confused as to why he was crying so much. 'She died while she was in the hospital' he said, crying more. 'W-what' I said starting to cry. He hugged me tight. 'Do you wanna go see her' he asked. 'No' I said, too shocked to do anything"

I sat there crying as the memories of her and her funeral came flooding back.

My dad was never the same after.

He didn't hang out with my sister and me as much.

He would cry more.

He got angrier easier.

It didn't help when I went back to school.

" 'Class we have a new student today. Her name is Maegan' the teacher said introducing me to my new class.

I thought things would get better once we moved to my grandma's house.

I thought wrong.

Things only started to get worse.

Everything was ok for about three years and then that's when things started going bad.

'I don't care if anything happens to me!!!' I yelled at my grandma.

I was twelve now and that's when things really started going wrong.

'There's a tornado warning. You can't be going outside and playing in the rain. Something could happen to you just like that' she said snapping her fingers.

'So, I don't care. I could care less if anything happend to me' I said going back in my room."

My grandma and I would fight a lot.

Sometimes over little things and sometimes it would be so bad to where we wouldn't talk to each other for weeks.

My other grandma would say how she thinks we had problems and that I have problems.

She would say sorry for no reasons.

She used to drive me crazy saying things that weren't true.

Then later in life I realized I do have problems.

I found myself going to the bathroom and digging through my drawers.

" 'I just wish you knew how many nights I cry myself to sleep' I thought as my grandma lectured me on how I shut people out and that I'm too sad.

She kept saying that the happy little girl I used to be was still in me but we all knew there was nothing left."

I sat in the bath tub with tears streaming down my face.

I put the blade to my skin and slowly slid it across.

I thought about all the hate I got through out school.

All the bullying and death threats.

I thought about how people told me I should just kill my self.

My family never really learned to accept me for who I am.

I thought about the years I spent in therapy and mental rehab.

I thought about the time I almost had to go to a mental hospital for almost killing myself.

I thought about when my dad found my personal drawing journal and looked throught it.

He saw all if my drawing and called my therapist who almost called the mental hospital.

After I slit my wrists a few times, I decided just to take a shower.

I showered and cleaned up my arms.

After I got out I wrapped my arms with bandages and got dressed in my pajamas.

I looked at the time.

It was 4:30 in the morning.

I crawled back in bed and as soon as I did Michael woke up and crawled over to me.

He curled up next to me and fell back asleep.

I closed my eyes and let the sound of the rain put me to sleep.
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Sorry for the sad chapter. Good bye my little marshmallows. Love ya :)