potato randomly half-venting?

cold cages.

my skin is icy to the touch
it can give you a burn that's tough
and if you want to warm it up,
nothing will be enough.

not words, not empty words
because they've all been heard
a million times before,
and they don't help anymore.

not actions, not forced actions
that i know are to simply stop this
you can't fool me, i've adjusted
to your lack of attention.

not gifts, not physical gifts
because you shouldn't pay for this
you can't make it not exist
using money from a wallet.

nothing can thaw the cold
i feel when i'm all alone
without anywhere to go
to postpone it a bit, no.

i feel cold, and i'm slowly getting colder.
as we all are slowly getting older.
someday, i wonder if this weight on my shoulders,
will be just like a boulder.

pushing one up a hill,
with other people thrilled,
i try to change, "you will!"
but then it rolls down and kills

any hope i had made
and any growth made
and sends me back to square one,
oh, what has it done?

i give up progressing.
it's never worth trying
again and again and again
if i know how it ends.

that's the definition of insanity, you know?

but i'm probably going insane regardless.
and i'm not being edgy, i'm an actual mess.
who was torn away from her happiness.
by none other than her own mindset.

but i guess it's too late for me
to finally let myself free
from my own insecurities
and truly be happy.

though maybe, there's another way
to finally make everything change
and open up my own cage,
and then be okay.

however, i know how reckless it'd be.
and i don't want them to lose me.
so i guess i'll stick around, still not free,
but as long as it makes them happy,
then it's all i'd ever want to be.