Take A Chance With Me (Bada Lee x Audrey Lane x Chocol)

[SIXTEEN]

Bada's Pov

We were still inside and she was really enjoying the breakfast I've cooked. She's been avoiding my eyes and I keep looking at her, checking her out. Do I sounds funny? I mean after all the things I did, para akong ewan na hayok na hayok sa atensyon ni Audrey.

In just a snapped, nawala yung galit na nararamdaman ko sakanya. Laking tulong din ni Chocol kasi kundi dahil sakanya, baka hanggang ngayon hindi pa rin kami nakakapag-usap ni Audrey. Oo tama si Chocol. I know she's trying to hit her up pero little did she know, medyo slow si Audrey pagdating sa ganyang pakulo.

“Huwag mo nga akong titigan.” saway ni Audrey saakin at inirapan ako.

“Bakit ba? Ina-appreciate ko lang naman yung view. Ang ganda kasi.” sagot ko sakanya at tinitigan lang siyang maiigi.

She'd rather to have someone who's straightforward than being like that; I mean giving some signs. For Audrey, that shit won't work cause she's slow as hell. I did try that before pero anong napala ko? edi wala kasi puro bigay motibo lang ako at hindi umamin agad.

“Ano bang nakain mo ha? I thought you were mad at me?” iritado niyang tanong saakin.

“But I also said na I'd try to treat you nice.” nakangiting sagot ko sakanya.

“Whatever.” Audrey gave up as she continued to eat.

Anyways, maaga nagsilabasan mga members ko kasi gusto pa nilang makabonding yung ibang crews. This is our last day here and we will leave later kaya sinusulit talaga nila yung rest day namin after going back to our mission.

“Bada.”

“Hmm?”

“Musta naman studies mo? natapos mo ba yung course mong law?” out of nowhere, Audrey asked me that question.

“No, I didn't. Mas pinili kong i-pursue yung dancing at hindi sinunod yung gusto ni Mommy.” I responded.

“W-what?”

“Auds, we know na ito talaga yung pangarap ko at pilit akong nilalayo ni Mommy sa totoong gusto ko. She wanted me to fulfill the dream she wasn't able to do kaya sobrang galit niya noon when I said na kahit anong mangyari, pagsasayaw pa rin ang pipiliin ko kasi dito ako masaya eh at sa pagsasayaw ko rin nahanap yung taong gusto kong makasama.” I explained and smiled bitterly.

“.....”

“Too bad iniwanan niya ako while we were both chasing our dreams. Ang daming nasayang na pagkakataon, ang daming what ifs at ang daming kong pinagsisisihan.” I said in a soft tone while Audrey has her eyes on me.

I'm talking about her—it's always her.

“Pinagsisisihan?” Audrey hesitantly asked me.

“Yup. If only I knew na iiwanan niya ako, sana umamin muna ako cause maybe in that way she would stay.” I tried to collect myself and hold back all my emotions.

“Bada—” I cut her off.

“If naging honest ba ako sa nararamdaman ko noon, hindi mo ba ako iiwanan? Audrey, mananatili kaba sa tabi ko kagaya nang ipinangako natin sa isa't isa?” diretsahan kong tanong sakanya na ikinagulat niya.

She didn't expect I would ask her that question. I badly wanted to know if something would change... I wanted to know her answer and of course what she really felt about me. Ayokong isipin na one sided lang lahat  at ayoko nang lokohin yung sarili ko.

We're both adults and the time is ticking. If papairalin ko yung pride ko, walang mangyayari. My members already forgave her at sino ba naman ako para hindi siya patawarin at alamin yung side niya diba? I think this is the right time to clarify everything para sa ikabubuti naming dalawa.

“Please tell me the truth.” I added and she took a deep breath.

“I would love to do that, Bada. Yung mga pangarap natin before? Gustong gusto kita kasama sa pagtupad nun pero sa sitwasyon natin noon baka gawin ko lang ulit yung ginawa ko sayo kahit na umamin ka.” She replied and her voice started trembling.

No, I know na hindi ayun yung gusto niyang isagot. She's hesitating a lot at ramdam na ramdam ko yun. I know her well.

“But why are you crying?” puna ko sakanya nang mapansin kong napaluha na siya.

“I'm not!” depensa niya at agad itong pinunasan.

“So bakit mo ako iniwanan? Akala ko ba sabay natin aabutin lahat? Yung mga plano natin noon, bakit tinapon mo na lang basta basta?” tanong ko sakanya.

Gustong gusto ko talagang malaman yung dahilan niya. For almost 8 years lagi kong hinahanap yung sagot sa katanungan na iyon pero wala talaga akong idea kasi alam kong si Audrey lang makakasagot nun.

“Gusto mong malaman?” She asked me.

“Oo. Araw araw lagi kong hinahanap yung kasagutan pero wala, wala akong idea kung bakit mo ako iniwanan sa ere. Audrey naman eh mahal kita at nasasaktan pa rin ako hanggang ngayon.” I confronted her and started to cry.

“Then go and ask your mother. I thought what I did would be the best decision but I was wrong. I made the biggest mistake of my life and I regretted it but as the time goes by, I learned how to accept the reality and moved forward.” She paused.

We're both crying and sobrang messed up naming dalawa. Para lang kaming nag-oopen forum but still no regrets kasi kahit papaano, naririnig ko yung side niya.

“My mom?” tanong ko at iniwas niya yung tingin niya saakin.

She's still hurting and you could see it in her eyes. I suddenly remembered that she also mentioned my mom last night like why? Anong ginawa ni Mommy kay Audrey to act this way na para bang may tinatago siyang secret from me.

“Just ask her, Bada. If she really loves you, she will tell you the truth pero I also understand her kung hindi niya sasabihin sayo. If you are looking for your peace of mind, she's the only answer.” She wiped off her tears and forced herself to smile.

“Audrey...”

“Alam kong sobra yung galit mo saakin noon pero I swear hindi ko intensyon na saktan ka. I do cherish all the memories we've created and everything pero I was so fucked up that time at patong patong yung emotions ko kaya I ended up doing that shit. Ayokong iwanan ka o sila kasi kayo na lang yung pamilya ko pero anong magagawa ko? I sacrificed everything for your own good kasi akala ko ayun yung tama.” She said while sobbing.

Naguguluhan pa rin ako. Paano nasali si Mom sa lahat nang ito?

“Isinantabi ko yung pangarap ko for you and for your mom's wish.” Audrey said and cried even harder.

My mom's wish?

“W-what?” naguguluhan kong tanong sakanya at nilapitan siya.

“I'm sorry for hurting you and breaking your heart, Bada. If only you knew what really happened, you wouldn't be that mad at me.” She looked up to me and her tears keep falling, it won't just stop.

I wiped off her tears and asked her to stop crying but It didn't work. As I keep shushing her, she keeps crying like a kid in my arms. She's in pain, still in pain. I chose to shut my mouth off and let her to vent out her unsaid feelings.

“Bada, mahal din naman kita noon. We felt the same way at ikaw lang yung nandyan sa tabi ko when everyone turned their backs on me. Ikaw lang ang meron ako noon pero nawala rin.”

Noon....