Stupid Wife- Lembre-se de Nós (English Edition) by Nathalia Sodré.

Chapter 33:A Memory

She's been just staring at me for a few minutes, still processing the question I had asked. This time, I'm not sure if this silence means something good or bad. Valentina doesn't show much in her eyes at the moment, leaving me completely in the dark. When she finally seems to understand, she sighs for a long time, and I can almost hear the sound of her swallowing saliva.

- "So, that's why you've been so restless."

- "Yes," even though her speech was a statement and not a question, I answer her, assuring her that I am being sincere when telling her about what is happening. Valentina nods, showing understanding.

- "How long have you been thinking about this?"

- "A long time. I can't even say exactly when this urge started, but in the last few weeks, everything has intensified.

- "Why didn't you say before?" Her question shuts me up, I don't know what to answer without sounding like something she isn't. I'm sure she'll jump to conclusions.

- "It was because of me, right?"

- "It was, but before you think wrong, it's not out of pity or anything like that. I don't doubt your ability, but I wanted to respect your time. I know how much you're suffering from the loss we've had; I don't want to put pressure on you. I remember how many times you said that Luiza from the past was putting pressure on you, I never want to be that person again."

My words seem to take her by surprise. I think I understand her reactions, the insecurities and everything. I can change and show the changes every day, but I am aware that the memories of our past are still vivid in her memory.

- "I understand what you did and thank you for respecting my space. Did you want to talk to me?"

- "A lot. My love, I will never be able to hide anything from you, but I still wasn't sure it was time."

- "I understand."

- "Do you think we should talk about this now?"

- "Why the question?"

I need to know if this conversation won't hurt her. I quickly approach her, taking her hands in mine and looking directly into her eyes. I want her to understand how sincere I am being.

- "Don't force anything just to please me, please. Remember when I asked you to think about you too? I ask you to do this now."

It takes her a while to show a reaction, but soon a huge smile spreads across her face. This relaxes me a lot. I feel like we will understand each other without anyone getting hurt from this conversation, because, in a way, I could end up hurting myself, just by hurting her too.

- "I think we're ready to have this conversation, yes. At least I feel ready, for real. I'm not paying lip service."

- "I'm happy to hear that, you don't know how it was killing me not to share with you what I've been feeling. It's weird, I felt like I was betraying you."

- "I felt the same way when I couldn't talk to you about my problems. I'm glad I managed to open up, today I feel better and I'm grateful for your strength. You helped me a lot."

- "I think that in every relationship it is important to be honest. I'm learning a lot from you, and this is one of them. The fact that I want to expand our family is not a necessity, I am happy with what we have, and I am willing to have whatever you want."

- "I understand. You, better than anyone, know how much I want to expand our family, but..."

- "Valentina, don't repeat those things, please! I feel broken when you talk about yourself like you're not capable of anything. You know what? I've been thinking about this a lot, and I think it wasn't meant to be before. Think how things would be: the two of us in conflict, with a small child? Can you see the size of the problem we would have?"