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PASSION

Passion. "What are you passionate about?" "What do you want to do?" and "What is your dream?" were the questions being asked every time I met my family or relatives. Even a stranger I met in a shopping mall, trust me.

People, especially adults, assume that by the time you graduate high school, you need to have a solid plan on how you are going to spend the rest of your life. Even if they didn't mean to make you feel that way, you will ultimately feel that. Now, I am not an expert in planning life, or it isn't like I had the perfect teenage life. However, one thing for sure is when you graduate high school, you will certainly get stuck in the period of reviewing, regretting, and reminiscing. I did this and that in year one; why did I decide to do this or that in year two, and oh, there were days I did this and that, it made me feel this and that. Many of you may argue that you never went through that phase, but trust me, you are just blocking that memory. You definitely had that moment.

For me, it was complicated. Did I regret anything in high school? For sure I did. I felt like I was running round and round in a cylinder like a hamster, going over the same thought over and over, thinking of how things would have turned out if I did things differently. You see, when you are in high school, 90% of the time, you are not thinking about your future. You are just stuck in the thought of being young, wild, and pretty. No offense to the 0. something % of you who actually planned your whole future; I look up to you.

The period of waiting for my WASSCE results was terrible, but the time of choosing whether to take or not take a gap year, after seeing my results, was even worse. Don't get me wrong; I apparently graduated with "flying colors," which gave me the chance to get easily accepted into one of the most "prestigious" universities in the country I was in. Despite that, I was unsure if I wanted to stay there. My English was then better than when I first arrived. I had begun writing poems and novels; I was having perfect conversations with people, and not to mention, my grades for English exams were great. Sometimes, it could just be a hunch, a sign, or a random statement from a stranger. You realize that your time for belonging in a place is up. The time for moving forward, letting the past be the past, and embracing a scary, tricky, uncertain future.

So I decided not to go to college that year. I needed to take a moment to breathe. I had to fall in love with the person I was becoming, to discover things I had in me that I never got to unfold because I was too scared, and to learn to take risks and get out of my comfort zone. Was I passionate about something? I guess so. Did I have any plan for the future? Maybe like a sketch. Was I sure if I was making the right decision? No way, and if anything, I was more sure of making the wrong choice. However, it all didn't matter. I was going on a new journey. A journey of growth and a journey in finding out if I could bring out and make good use of the passion that hid deep within me. So, my youngsters, my advice? Here there are:

1. Learn to feel okay to say "I don't know."Hey, even adults have this problem. Weren't we at some point taught that the term "I don't know" is a dumb answer, and we should at least work something out on our own, be it math class or a fight with a classmate? I don't agree with that. If we don't know, what are we supposed to say? Lie about our thoughts? If you are a teacher and you teach that to your students, you have got to rewrite your syllabus, please. It should be okay and completely normal to admit that we don't know what we are going to do next year, what was the actual cause that led to a displeasing event, or why some of us have not figured out what to do when we graduate high school. All that matters is that we will eventually find out. We will try and find what's best for us. So for now, "I don't know," normalize this clause in your daily conversation with people, maybe?

2. Write down Strengths and Weaknesses.This is something I learned while working on some projects in university. When in the period of figuring things about yourself, it can be helpful if you write down your strengths and weaknesses. It can also be what you are interested in and what you are absolutely not interested in. Through this process, you will be able to focus and brainstorm on your potentials better. I do not want to sound like a professor, but as one of the least serious students, I was helped by this tip, so maybe try it out?

I have not been consistent in my writing as much as I wanted to, and this is because I was doubting my passion. I am no longer a teenager, but trust me, I still think and worry like one. Even in your twenties, you will come across a period like this, where you are completely lost and bewildered, searching for the right way to success or happiness. So writing this chapter has actually calmed me down, and I hope that it also felt relevant to many of you readers.New chapter coming soon, and it is only going to get spicier and spicier the more I grow my writing into the later part of my teenage life. Therefore for the meantime, sit back, relax, and enjoy some cup of my teen tea <3