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Goodbye Africa, Hello Again, Asia

Hello readers. It has been 7 months since my last chapter. Wow, how time flies.I am sitting in my pajamas with twisted hair, on my comfy couch, trying to remember the time I flew back to Asia from Africa. Not for vacation, but this time for good.It is incredible that I found this cartoon picture for my chapter because this is exactly what I looked like when I was returning here.Not so excited, but there was this bittersweet, confusing, and uncertain feeling that made it hard for me to smile. I was a different person. I was not the same girl who used to live here 6 years ago. I didn't know where to start, what to do, whom to face. It didn't feel like I was going "home," but to an unknown place with unfamiliar people.I wasn't sure if I could survive. I already missed my African home on the plane.My family was happy to see me, of course. They hadn't seen me in a while and they were excited that I was going to settle back here again. Guess what worried me the most? Just take a guess, come on, you've read over 20 chapters already, you should have some clear ideas about me by now. I will give you a minute to think.

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Friends! You got it right, or maybe you didn't. I was worried about making friends. All the friends I had back here were grown and living their own separate lives. Who was I going to do all the things I wanted to do with? How was I going to live the best teenage life I had left if I didn't have friends?Before you think I was a loner, let me be clearer. I did have friends. Childhood friends and social media friends. To be clearer, the week I came back to Japan, I met up with 3 people I met on social media. They were also mixed race like myself and our energy matched, at least back then, I thought so. Little did I know I would experience a rollercoaster of emotions because of them. Even though I will not get into too much detail, I will tell you a few things here. Not everyone is qualified to be your friend, or even in your life, I'd say. These "friends" of mine disrespected my family, religion, personality, and trust. It isn't entirely their fault because I probably opened up way more than I should have. I was naive and overexcited for new experiences with them. However, new experiences and people don't always have a positive impact on you. In this situation, it negatively impacted me. I felt like I had to keep up with their outings, partying, clubbing, and coming home after sunrise to be "normal."

Don't get me wrong, I didn't do any of that (Alhamdulillah). It's the influence. I was alright just the way I was, and most importantly, I was and am a Muslim. Almost everything they wanted me to do with them was forbidden in my religion. It took a heartbreak to finally realize that I was better alone than trying to keep up with them. Looking back now, I wonder what the whole point was. I wonder what was actually bothering me back then. Had I realized their toxicity earlier, I might have prevented my heart from getting hurt.

But everything happens for a reason. It really does, whether you are spiritual or not, trust me, everything does happen for a reason. My return here, my encounter with these people, my heartbreak, and so much more, and I am grateful to God for everything that happened. Most importantly, I am grateful that I lived both in Africa and Asia. Now, I call both my home.

The next few chapters are going to be about my last year of teenage life. Definitely emotional and dramatic. This chapter was just to reminisce about the first phase of my return here. Just a blurry vision of how everything started. As I am writing this, it is vivid to me that my writing has changed. Positively or negatively, I can't tell, but I am glad that I am back here writing this again for the sake of challenging myself to successfully finish what I started.

For my supportive and consistent readers, whether you are still a teenager or not, I  truly appreciate you. For the short period of time, please sit back, relax, and have a sip of my cup of teen tea I am about to spill.