13 walking to 19

GOOD GIRL GONE BAD

Have you ever seen an ugly girl?

When I say ugly, I mean unattractive, hideous, disturbing and uncomfortable. Simply ugly. If you have seen one, great! If you have never seen one, I'll tell you a short story about an ugly girl I used to know.

I don't know where exactly I would get with this chapter. A part of me is unsure of my courage while the other part of me is optimistic about what I might or might not type in this chapter.

There was once an ugly girl who thought she had it all. She judged the people around her by looks, affluence, partners, clothes they wore and their level of "swag". Never had she taken her time to fathom their personality, circumstances or perceptions. Disrespected anyone who thought dissimilar, and ran from her own darkest insecurities she carried over years.

Her darkest insecurity? That was, Being different from others.

She had been afraid of expressing her real opinions, showing her real personality and revealing her real interests and dislikes. She thought being like everyone else was the normality, doing things those cool girls did was acceptance and hurting or disrespecting people who looked or sounded uniquely distinct, the coolest attitude.

What exactly did she do?

A couple of despicable things rude to her society. Uttering words without second thought and metaphorically, destroying the passion and motivation of beautiful people. That wasn't how she came into the world. She once was a good girl, a warm hearted girl who wanted people to accept her true self. Instead, she turned into a bad and an ugly girl. And who she was.. ?

The writer of the book you are reading on Wattpad right now. Yes. I was that ugly girl. I was the girl running from her insecurities and hurting everyone around including myself. I was the "good girl gone bad".

I am afraid I won't have the suitable words to explain what really happened to me. But in short words, I was an ugly girl, maybe the ugliest. I changed in a way I would wake up every morning and wonder who the girl in the mirror was. I looked around and noticed myself pregnant with so much hatred and loneliness.

That was the time I was going through self deception, unable to think of consequences and only lived for the moment.

There were teachers in school who noticed my ugly behaviors. They tried to reach out to me as much as they could, but I neglected. I paid no attention to most of my books and concentrated on learning lyrics of newest songs and taking the cutest photos. I focused on wearing the nicest shoes, putting on prettiest hair bands and getting the attention from everyone who saw me in school.

Again, my desire for popularity blinded me completely till one day I was told right to my face that I had completely failed in my exams .