13 walking to 19

SOCIAL MEDIA

Funny story, I didn't have a phone in my freshman year. To be more specific, I did not have a smartphone. Not to confuse you, this was my decision. I genuinely believed that smartphones were distractions to students, so I gave it away to a relative. Would you believe me if I told you that I had the intention of staying 3 years in high school without a smartphone? Regardless of your response, I actually did intend to do that.

However, almost everyone in my high school had a smartphone. The common thing among them was that they were all glued to this thing called 'social media'. Assuming that you are all above 13 years of age, I am quite optimistic that you own at least one account among the applications connected to social media. Instagram and Snapchat were the popular ones in those days. Most of the people I knew were obsessed with followers and likes they were getting on Instagram. Also, the quality of the photos posted by others. I used to hear things like, "Did you see her pictures? They weren't bad", "He takes nice pictures," and my favorite line, "She looks so different from her pictures." It was as though everyone in school had their introductory page on Instagram for others to judge. I had deactivated my account by then, and nobody really had a clue about what my photos looked like. When they asked, my response was "I don't use a phone." Looking back, I am actually very proud of the 14-year-old me who didn't feel awkward telling people that I did not own a smartphone. I guess I was completely content with my decision.

However, my vision did not exactly go as planned. By the time the first term was ending, I was drowning in my own regrets and desperation. I wanted to get back my smartphone so badly. Unfortunately, my relative had given it to another relative who lost it in public transportation called 'trotro'. Clearly, it was impossible for me to get it back. There I was, bored on vacation when everyone my age was having fun taking memorable photos and videos with their smartphones. Even when I tried to keep my mind off the fact that I wanted a smartphone, I could not concentrate. All that I had was a tiny phone with buttons and a radio station as the only way to listen to music. I could not use the internet to research either; my laptop was miserably broken.

I had a friend who wasn't helping me to focus at all. I would rather keep her name unmentioned, but she was insane about social media. Her means of competition were followers on Instagram and the niceness of Snapchat posts. That young woman was gradually influencing me negatively in so many ways I could not even fathom. By the time the second semester had begun, I was overly frustrated that I would do anything and everything to get a smartphone. Naive and dumb, I was already losing focus in high school. By the second semester, people had clearer ideas about how people they knew and didn't know were doing on social media.'Hyped' was a term used by young people then, referring to people who were famous mostly on social media. Those people had special respect from other students that I was noticing the desperation in many girls and boys trying to get known on social media to achieve such respect. Today, about to be a twenty-year-old writing this, I wonder if that fame they were chasing was worth it. Some people get money from social media, and I think it's amazing, but at the same time, social media drains our mental health, doesn't it?

Nonetheless, I couldn't be the one saying no to social media at all. I own an account on almost all the social media applications. Does it help me sometimes? Does it bother me all the time? Young and dumb was the fourteen-year-old me, but I think everyone passes that stage at least once in a lifetime. I happen to know a few people who have no access to social media at all, and I couldn't be more astonishingly proud. Imagine your life without thinking about other people's social media content, not comparing yourself to those photos of famous Instagrammers, not waking up to new posts from your boyfriend's ex-girlfriends, or finding your girlfriend commenting love emojis on your friend's posts. I am clueless about you, but as for my life, it could have been the most peaceful one ever if I had no relationship with social media. If I learned anything in the past, it would be...

1. Do Not Judge By Social Media:It really is the most unhealthy thing to jump to conclusions just by looking at posts on social media. I am well aware that I am not the first nor the last to mention this, but allow me, 'everyone has a different life from social media'. This means there are so many things we don't show on social media. I once read a book called "Girl, Wash Your Face," and the author wrote something about social media. Not directly quoted, but she said something like "people won't show the bad things on social media." I couldn't agree more. If I were homeless, I don't think I would proudly post on my Instagram showing my followers how I sleep outside. Everyone on this earth has bad days. Some people will still show a pretty smile and marvelous photos making others think their life is right on track. You know better, life is not that simple. Just a quick reminder to you that social media can be a tool to deceive sometimes, do not take that as a reason to judge.

2. Take A BreakI am now realizing that this is my favorite phrase, "take a break." It is essential to pause your everyday life for a while. Social media is draining every so often; we need to stay away from it to face our real life. There is so much more to life than just sticking our entire mind and eyes to social media. There is a beautiful world out there outside your smartphone; it only takes your willingness to experience that. Log out, sign out, deactivate temporarily, do whatever you need to take a break and enjoy the real world once in a while. I still do it often, and trust me, it is one of the most refreshing experiences I have ever had.

Being a teenager is hard, keeping up with social media pressure. I have been there, done that. I wish I had someone telling me the things that I previously wrote when I was younger because it got to a point where I was devastated but had nobody to talk to. However, I am glad that I learned along my journey even if it was in the hard way. They all contributed to the making of who I am today and the adult I am becoming.I hope you continue to enjoy your sip of my cup of teen tea. Stay connected for the next chapter, which won't stop getting spicier;)