ALIVE | bonten x reader

𝕔𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝟞𝟡 - 𝒂𝒄𝒄𝒖𝒔𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔

„It's my fault that he died." You looked straight ahead with empty eyes and a bloody face, as everyone in the car was staring at you in disbelief. The only one that dared to speak in that moment was Takeomi, because Kakucho was still shocked at your statement, not knowing what to make of it. „What do you mean ‚it's your fault'? You didn't shoot him, did you? Then how could it be your fault?" Takeomi scoffed as Kakucho was starting up the car and started making the way down to the hideout again. Your gaze didn't budge and there was no emotion showing in your eyes, just complete numbness as you responded to Takeomi in a calm tone.

There is nothing to hide anymore. I'm fucked. I should just tell them.

„Hanma ambushed me when I was leaving your house. He touched me... and asked me what my plan with you was. And I lied to him. So he called someone to kill him. He was right there with Noah. And Hanma told him to kill him because of my lie."

All of their eyes were now fixed on you, widened in shock of your explanation, Rindou's mouth was hanging open as he tried to regain his composure, but the only one that gathered himself pretty quickly again was Takeomi. Even Kakucho in the drivers seat was readjusting himself so the leather was making noises, while he tried to swallow the lump that built up in his throat. Takeomi cleared his throat before he began to speak with seriousness lacing his voice. „Why did you even leave the mansion? Why didn't you wait for Kakucho to take you home?"

Ew. The memories. Sanzu. Ew NO.

You pressed your lips together and shut your eyes in disgust, as you shook your head and looked out the window afterwards, while they waited for a response. You contemplated telling them, but weighing out the options, there wasn't much to think about, since they were still the only ones that you had. And they probably already knew Sanzu was an asshole to women, so that wouldn't be a surprise. You crossed your arms on your chest before huffing out a deep sigh and starting to talk in a tight voice.

„I saw Sanzu fucking a woman in the living room..." You closed your eyes and shuddered at the disgusting memory of seeing him there, even if you two weren't a thing, and you also had sex with Kakucho before, but it wasn't the same, since he did it right in front of you. You didn't care about him fucking anyone, but you knew now what made you so mad back then, because he didn't even care that someone might see him. He can fuck anyone he wants but not in front you.

They were looking at eachother as if that wasn't anything new, and waited for you to continue. „...and he had sex with me the day before. I got mad at him and packed my things. He wanted to explain but I didn't hear him out and went home by foot.", you said with a pressed voice, since the anger was still very prominent and you were still mad at him for not even thinking about what he was doing. Kakucho blinked a few times in surprise, but he wasn't mad at you, he was more so mad at Sanzu for hurting you. You were already injured physically and psychologically and he fucked you up emotionally even more. He could not really look at you while driving but all he wanted to do was hug you tightly, so you'd forget all the pain you had to endure.

You looked out the window with a stern face, while all of them were just looking at eachother, trying to figure out what to say, but when Takeomi spoke, you glared at his back, because he intentionally didn't turn around to face you like before. „You know... uhm..", he tried to find the right words, but you didn't expect him stuttering a little. „...he doesn't think too much. I'm sure he didn't want to hurt you, he was probably just high and wanted to release some stress. He was also the one, that..- uhm.." He didn't finish his sentence, but he made you curious about what he did, so you tilted your head in anticipation and waited for him to continue. But he didn't. So you cleared your throat loudly before you raised your voice at him from the back.

That fucker... what did he do...

„He was also the one, WHO WHAT?", you exaggerated the last part of you mocking the beginning of his sentence, that he didn't finish, only to scoff at him after. „Tell me what he did." Your voice was really pressed and angry, so Takeomi shifted in his seat before he responded, also with a stern voice. „He wanted revenge on Noah for hurting you, and cheating on you. Kakucho told him what happened." The shocked expression that was now plastered on your face was only emphasized by your mouth standing agape and your eyes wide open.

He.. what? Why? If he didn't care about me he wouldn't want revenge on someone for hurting me? BUT STILL - HE'S a fucking ASSHOLE...

You licked your lips and took a deep breath, trying to control the fury in your voice. Before you could raise your voice to speak, your mouth was already opened when Kakucho began to talk. „He just wanted to nag him and talk to him a little, making him regret his decision. He tied him up at the first warehouse we were at, but as you saw, something went wrong." Your shocked face didn't disappear, you just stared at Kakucho in disappointment. „YOU KNEW ABOUT IT??!" Now you were screaming at him and trying to get your seatbelt off to climb into the front seat, and hit him. He fucking knew about it. He fucking knew something was going to happen to Noah.

Noah was an asshole. No doubt. But he didn't deserve that. He didn't deserve to die because of my connection to them. It was my fault.

„Calm down. We wanted to take him back in the evening. But somehow Hanma's executives must have gotten a hold of him and threatened you then." Now it was Takeomi talking again, but he collected himself and was just speaking to you as calm as ever while you were panting and heaving in the backseat, the anger gleaming in your eyes as you looked at all of them.

„BUT HE DIED!!! BECAUSE I LIED! AND BECAUSE SANZU MADE IT EASIER FOR THEM!!! THAT FUCKING BASTARD!!!" You were literally fuming, screaming out at them in agony and slamming your bloody fists against the front seat, making Takeomi lean forward. Your screams were the ones of betrayal, humiliation and despair. Tears made their way down your cheeks again as the yelling died down, until you were pulling into the parking space of the mansion again, and you buried your face in your lap, slumped over.