Brunette Bitch (beeduo high school AU)

god im an idiot

pov:

The days pass by quick. Tubbo goes to therapy, he tries to forgive his Dad. 

Ranboo stays in a never ending cycle. 

Wake up, breakfast, check ins, lunch, gym, dinner, then an hour of a selected activity. He goes to bed,  cycle repeats.

tubbo pov:

Therapy is fine. Tommy is fine. Dad is fine. Life is fine. But where is Ranboo? I miss him. And I know for a fact he is out living his best life. With someone else. And I wish him the best. I want him to be happy. But if I have to continue life living lonely, god please let me see him again.

I look in the mirror before going to my Dad's car. God I look terrible. I have terrible eye bags, at this point they're luggage. My hair looks so dead, it's basically unwound yarn, and I haven't brushed it in days. I'm skinnier. I look like the corpse bride. My arms are basically only bone; I refuse to eat anything more than a light snack.  And my eyes look dead inside.  Not that they aren't but it's not something you normally want.

Something I do normally want, is him. Even through death. I always wanted to be with him. inseparable. But that godawful man had to ruin that. I check my phone. It's 2:23. Subconsciously I open our text messages together.

Our last messages make me want to cry.

'ill always be there for you bee<3
good night love'

'youd bettr be! gnight i love you too'

I was so unaware. Ignorance is bliss. I scroll up. Even through the tears in my eyes are shouting "No! No!" I keep going. I stumble along a picture of him.

His hair is all around in the best way possible. His skin is practically glowing and he's so happy.

'do you really need to see what i look like rn? a mess lol'

He was so nice. And caring. Oh Ranboo, you're not a mess. You're beautiful. 

But of course it was too late to say by then. God knows where he is right now. Probably with a beautiful girl, blonde hair blue eyes. Crop top, mini skirt. Everything I'm not, or even I wasn't.

He's living his best life. He's better off without you. 

ranboo pov:

My heart aches. It's gym time, and I'm walking around still. That guy that was talking to me a few days ago. [I forgot his name, I wasn't really paying attention.] Has left. The only people I'm left with are 2 girls, and a lone man who's walking around by himself. I don't want to be a burden and join any of them, so I stay alone. It's better off this way. They're all going to hurt you like 0L1v3R. Do you really want that?

But no! I want to trust people! I want to love people! I want to kiss him again! No matter how selfish it seems. Yes, I broke up with him, but that doesn't stop me from feeling regret. I miss him, I want him, I want to kiss his pretty little face and tell him I'm sorry. But I can't. I'd end up only screwing everything up again. Like with James. Like with Tubbo. Like with... O-liver. 

And I know it was my fault every time. James only picked on me because I was pathetic. My fault. Tubbo c#_-ed on be because I wasn't good enough for him. [God I can't even bring myself to say it] He only picked on me because I was asking for it. I shouldn't have been like that. I should've gone home. I could've avoided him if I'd just been some where else. But my bumbling ass couldn't have done it. 

God it's all my fault.

635 words

remember. if you've ever been r4p3d it's never your fault. you were not asking for it. ranboo's just an idiot