Brunette Bitch (beeduo high school AU)

invisible to some, until its time

tubbo pov:

Those eyes. The same ones that loved me, adored me, cherished me. Also the same ones that hated me. And right now, that thought is the only thing I hate. 

He sits across from us, my will and a glass pane stopping me from falling into his arms. He looks just the same as always. Impeccably beautiful. 

"Hi B-"

"hey." Huh. Wouldn't he be happy to see me..? Oh wait. Oh yeah. Never mind.

"I-uh- I just wanted to know why you... broke up with me?" God I'm acting such a fool! I bet he's internally laughing at me. I- I should know this, I should know this because I did it! I should know, I should know, WHY DON'T I KNOW?!

"God- Did you lose some of your memory when you killed yourself?" This hit me like a train. Someone might as well have shot me because I wouldn't feel the pain. Not over this. But why is he being so insensitive?! Why is he being mean?

"You. Cheated. On. Me." What?! When!? 

"W-wha-When-where?!" This pain was worse then meeting death itself in that water. D-did we break up over something that didn't happen?!

"The party. You were with some old as fuck man after you made me miss my own sister's birthday!  Stop. Playing. Coy."

"R-Ran let's be s-" His ma tried to reason before getting cut off.

"No! I'm done with reason Ma! You were done with reason when you learned I broke up with him! And you! Toby. Stop beating around the bush! You know what you did!"

[DO NOT READ IF COMFORTABLE. TALKS ABOUT R-P3 & KYS THERE WILL BE A SUMMARY.]

"N-No I really don't know! I- I- Wait- you want to know what happened with me at the party? Do you want to know why I was there for so long?! That old man was sexually assaulting me. He was raping me!"

"I WAS THERE, WAITING FOR HELP, WHILE A MAN OLD ENOUGH TO BE MY DAD GRABBED ME BY THE WAIST AND KEPT TELLING ME HOW MUCH HE WISHED HE COULD DO STUFF TO ME. YOU THINK I WANTED THAT? DO YOU THINK THAT WAS SOMETHING I VOLUNTERED FOR?! I THOUGHT YOU KNEW ME BETTER. STOP JUMPING TO CONCLUSIONS!" I fully lashed out. I was panting hard and this visit will not only be our first, but also last. God, why couldn't that lake have fully finished me off! I'm so done with this! 

For a moment, I wish my body was left unfound. I wish the cold water would seep through my bones and just sweep me away. I wish the water would fill up my lungs, and stay there, H2O becoming my new O2. I want to suffer. I want to die. I want to be left alone forever, watching people around me crowd and pointing and laughing. The carnival's new crazy act. The king's favorite subject. I wish to be subject to pain. I wish I could be pained with the plague. I wish I could be plagued with sadness. 

His eyes were cold, like the water. He was unforgiving, like the water. He was unrelenting, angry, like the water. He wanted me dead, like the water. He laughed at how pathetic I am, like the water. His stone cold glare mocked me, a weakling, like the water.

"I guess we're even then."

"What?"

"Walking home, Oliver was there. He raped me. Do you want to know who Oliver's brother is? James the man who was a terrible friend. He bullied me! He was rude, an ass, and terrible, but he was doing it to protect me! I got the biggest atomic bomb dropped on me, but I still tried to get better. You think I wasn't worried sick! You think I didn't think of you and only you? You wrecked me!"

[BAD STUFF OVER]
(basically they confessed to being ----ed and yeah thats it ig)

"C-can we start anew then?" I plead. I cry. I want to beg on my knees, but god knows it won't help.

"No."

I let out a breath I didn't know I was even holding fully unleashed my sadness. I know Ma's sadness had rubbed off. 

"Toby, your name used to bring blood to my cheeks, but as of late, it feels as if your name brings blood to my hands. I'm sorry."

I let out a shaky sigh and walked out. This chapter of my life had ended. And perhaps, this will also be the end of my life completely. I'll have a rematch with that lake. I'm sure It'll want to prove its dominance over me.

907 words

that's the end!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but super secret alt ending coming soon due to a comment:)))) but please dont recomend any more endings this books is over and so is this chapter of my life. im still working on ihyt but it might be my last beeduo book. idk if you can tell when the books started turning sad it was bc i was over with the ship and couldnt hold myself to write fluff for something i didnt like anymore. but do not worry i will stay active in other fandoms like object shows and maybe possibly dialtown(?!?!??!?!?!) idk about dt because its not rlly fanfic material lolllllll

ALSO I CANT BELIEVE YOU GUYS. THE CHAPTERS SPELLED OUT MUSTARD AND SUICIDE SMH